


Forumverse

by NanakiBH



Series: HeroTV Forums [1]
Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Romance, Cybersex, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fanart, Fanfiction, Friendship, Kink Meme, M/M, Party, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 05:25:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 64,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2535785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all began innocently, on the forums of the HeroTV website...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Road to Being a BNF

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote all of this for the Tiger & Bunny kink meme a few years ago. Each chapter was based on prompts given by anonymous users. This story is complete, but ultimately continues in Bondageverse. AO3 doesn't support certain HTML that I originally used to format this story (and I'm working to fix the italic tags that it seems to devour in certain places for no reason), so if you wish to read it in its original formatting, this entire fic series is available [on Livejournal.](http://heroistic.livejournal.com/14729.html)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: Ivan participates in Hero TV fandom online, where he writes terribad fanfic about his fellow heroes.

The house was pleasantly quiet. Ivan was alone that night, which meant another fabulous night in his room together with his computer. He unzipped his jacket and tossed it onto the floor. He grabbed his laptop from his desk and rolled himself onto his bed where he intended to spend the rest of his night.

It took his laptop a couple minutes to boot up and he spent those minutes anxiously wondering what kind of messages he would find in his inbox. It felt like his browser was taking too slow to open – although maybe it was his own fault for leaving at least thirty tabs open all the time. He needed at least half of them and the other fifteen were just videos and other pages he hadn't gotten to yet.

His mail tab decided to load the slowest, but once it was up, he grinned from ear to ear, noticing the unusually large number of messages he had waiting for him to read. He clicked on one of them and could barely hold back his excitement as he read it. He deleted it and moved on to the next, and with each message, his confidence grew.

_I can't believe people really enjoy my fics, de gozaru! At this rate, I'll be really popular! Or... am I already popular? No, no, not as popular as HeroLove, but I'm getting there. Just wait... Just wait, I will be more popular than her, de gozaru!_

Yes, if there was a goal that Ivan had in life, it was to become a BNF; a big name fan. There was one lonely internet whale who stood between him and his goal of becoming the internet's most beloved writer of Hero TV fanfiction and that was HeroLove. But he would show her. He had inside information and he was about to blow everyone's mind by introducing them to their new favorite pairing. If there was one way to shoot to the top, it would be to quickly write stories about the newest, hottest interest.

_Tiger and Barnaby._

He'd worked hard on a twenty-chapter fic about himself and Blue Rose. Rather... about _Origami Cyclone_ and Blue Rose. His character was exceedingly popular in the fanfic world, featured in almost everything until Barnaby came along. Once Mr. Handsome showed up, he noticed that everyone was starting to pair him up with all the other heroes – except for Tiger. It made sense, in a way. Tiger was a pretty terrible hero as far as everybody online was concerned. The fasted way to get yourself flamed was to try to defend yourself as a fan of Wild Tiger. It was like admitting that you like Naruto.

But when Ivan looked at him now, he realized that Tiger was actually his ticket to fandom fame. Tiger was the perfect uke. Ivan wasn't very experienced with writing about two guys, but it wasn't too hard when he tried. As far as he knew, the people online thought he was a girl, so it wasn't so embarrassing to post things like that for him, but the only yaoi pairing he had experience with so far was Rock Bison/Origami Cyclone.

The character, okay? It wasn't like he was pairing himself with Antonio or anything... He had the twenty-chapter fic about him with Blue Rose to prove it!

Anyway. Tiger just had that innocent, down-on-his-luck thing about him. That really earned him some moe-points. Not to mention, underneath that suit, he knew the guy actually had a pretty decent body and a cute face. He'd look totally adorable with Barnaby, and his old fashioned sense of doing things would be a great compliment to Barnaby's more modern outlook.

_Odd-couple, de gozaru. The fujoshi will love this!_

He quickly opened up a new text document and started writing.

It had to be something simple and convincing enough to pull in new fans to the pairing, but something good enough to hook in even those who already had an OTP. He had to think carefully about that.

It couldn't be porn. Or... maybe it had to be porn? Some people only skimmed to get to the good stuff. Then again, there were people like himself who enjoyed reading things with a good plot. But he was also guilty of skimming for porn. That was a tough decision.

But he decided to go with something PG for the start. He chose to write something where Barnaby and Tiger could learn that they had a lot in common, while working around their differences.

_Wait... But what do they have in common? ...A-Absolutely nothing! Those two are always fighting, aren't they! O-oh my god, de gozaru. Okay, Ivan-san, calm thyself. Focus!_

So he spent the next hour writing. He entirely erased his first attempt about ten minutes in and then started all over again and kept going until he felt like it had reached its conclusion.

_I may as well commit seppuku now. This is terrible. But... But this is the kind of thing fujoshi would like, isn't it? Even if it's a little rough for now, they'll probably read it and love it anyway. I hope. Maybe I'll get points just for posting an unpopular pairing for a change._

For the moment, he decided to post to the Hero TV community to see how they would react to the B/T pairing. The rest of his night would be spent watching AMVs and clicking back to the inbox to see if he received any new comments. He just hoped that it wouldn't ruin his reputation.

* * *

__**Title:** It Takes Two To Tango  
**Author:** _origamically  
**Pairing:** Barnaby/Tiger  
**Rating:** NC-17, nsfw  
**Summary:** Tiger's bad luck leads him to another failed mission and the loss of tons of points. Seeing how down his partner is about his failures, Barnaby decides to do something to “cheer him up”.  
**Disclaimer:** Hero TV, its characters, and all related things are at the mercy of their sponsors. I won't challenge that! 

_I don't think I've seen this pairing around here yet, but I just started shipping it myself! I think they actually make a really good pair, if you think about it. Oji-san is pretty moe in a way... Put on your goggles and you'll see what I mean. Hope you like it, minna-san! ＼（*＾∀＾）ノ_


	2. If You Can't Beat 'em, Join 'em

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: Nathan starts lurking around the Hero TV forums.
> 
> Edit (12.10.17): It's been a loooong time since this was posted. I wrote this before the movie was even a thing. I'm going to try to reread this whole fic and correct all of Nathan's pronouns. I'm going with "they" since that seems to be what's most accepted by the fandom. I don't consider myself a Nathan expert, so feel free to tap me on the shoulder if you think I should fix anything else.

It was a slow day. It was the kind that the heroes enjoyed the most where they could group together in the gym and exercise in peace. It was one of those days where it was like all the villainous minds of Sternbild had decided to lay quiet and innocent for a while to give the heroes all a well-deserved break.

Nathan knew that it was probably very naïve to think that way, but it was a great way to relax; to just forget that the villainy existed. It was a treat to preoccupy their thoughts with other things for a change, like what kind of nice things they'd buy with their next check or what Antonio's fine ass looked like in those fine shorts. Did he wear those on purpose? _Dayum._ That was a crime that they wouldn't mind punishing on their day off, if you get the metaphor.

After a thorough jog on the treadmill, Nathan let themselves gracefully fall back into an awaiting bench. It was, of course, the kind intended for lifting weights, but it also functioned well as a dais for lounging fabulously on. They stretched their arms over the side and grabbed for their bag which was just a nice stretch away. In the off-chance that Antonio was looking, they arched their back languidly while they reached.

For the moment, they wouldn't check to see if he was looking. They were far more interested in what their email had in store for them that day.

After a few clicks, they got to what they'd been waiting for. Every day, they awaited the Hero TV daily newsletter. In it, there were articles featuring what the heroes were up to – all information provided directly from the source, so all of it was accurate... for the most part. Lately, the articles had taken an interest in Barnaby and his powers. Nathan felt a little bad for Kotetsu who'd spent so many years as a hero with the exact same power, but now everyone was suddenly interested in this other fellow who was nearly the same. Except younger. And extremely good-looking.

The articles still largely focused on Sky High, the paragon of heroic achievement and idol to all. He was a lovely individual, so Nathan couldn't possibly begrudge him of the attention he received. Although, at the same time, they did wish a little for that kind of popularity.

Especially when it came to the fan column. At the bottom of the newsletter, they spared a section dedicated to what the official Hero TV forum was currently talking about. Naturally, there was a lot of talk about Barnaby. Although normally Nathan didn't take part in such fannish activities, they had eventually clicked into the forum one day out of curiosity and the desire to see more of these candid photos that fans had captured of Handsome.

One thread had led him to another and before they knew it, they had discovered a world they couldn't believe they had lived without before. Who knew that fans put so much thought into what the heroes did in their daily lives? They even seemed interested in the kinds of things they did outside of their heroic duties. They wrote elaborate stories that could sometimes go on for chapter after chapter with theories about who was romancing who. Nathan wanted to tell them all about it; how they would go for pedicures, where their favorite ice cream shop was, what kind of guy they liked – things like that.

Except that was the problem that they ran into.

It seemed like nobody really cared about them. There were many such stories about Origami Cyclone. Nathan was extremely surprised by that, given that Ivan hardly did anything besides stick himself into action shots of the other heroes. Did fans even know what he looked like under that suit? Granted, Nathan knew what he looked like and he wasn't half bad, but how did the fans know that? How were they even aware that he was blond?

And while they were busy with all these details about Origami Cyclone, there was nothing to be seen about Fire Emblem except for a few short solo stories about him. But Nathan wanted to know... Who would they pair them with?

So every day, they kept checking back, hoping that _someone_ was going to write a story about them and one of the other heroes. They would prefer if it was Rock Bison, but it seemed that those fans already had it in their head that Antonio looked good with Ivan. Didn't they know? It was so obvious. _They_ were the one who liked men. For God's sake, if there was one hero they should be pairing anyone with, it had to be them, right?

They opened up a new account on the forum and decided to ask for themselves.

_blazinglory_:_  
[ Who looks good with Fire Emblem? ]  
Hi, guys. I'm new around here, but I guess you could tell that. 

_I'm just wondering: Who do you pair with Fire Emblem? I haven't seen many stories that have them with any of the other heroes and I don't get it. They're my favorite, so I'm a little disappointed. They need more love! Personally, I think they'd be great with Rock Bison. I hear they love a good firm ass._

And they hit post.

They drummed their fingernails against their laptop and wiggled their feet back and forth in the air. They took a sip of their water. Then they hit refresh.

__origamically:  
lol Yeah, you're definitely new. Uh... I know some people get offended about this topic, but whatever, I'll explain. Basically, they're just too easy to ship. Everybody already knows they're guy-obsessed, so it isn't very fun to try to pair them up with other heroes._

_Okay, now don't shoot me, minna. I have nothing against them. You know I love them as if they were one of my closest friends. But yeah... They're just not so fun to write. There has to be a little bit of a challenge, you know? On a related note, I wonder if Origami Cyclone came out, if everybody would suddenly stop writing about him? Hm. (´・ω・)_

Nathan couldn't decide if they should laugh out loud or throw their laptop across the room. _That_ was why people weren't pairing them in their stories? _That_ was why they didn't care? Nathan thought for sure that their openness would be a positive thing that the fans would enjoy writing about, but instead they wanted closeted angst? What kind of fucked up...

As they scrolled down to find the reply button, they realized that there was already even a second comment.

_HeroLove:  
Don't worry about it, origami. We've gone over the topic here enough as it is. They ought to just sticky this. lol_

_But like origami said, I definitely agree. While I think it's fine if people write about Fire Emblem and pair them with the other heroes, I don't think they're as fun to ship as, say, Barnaby/Origami or Bison/Origami. Lately, I've been finding Barnaby/Tiger to be really great, though. I have origami to thank for that one. It's worth reading her fic to give that pair a try. I really started to see it after I read that. [link here] So just look around and maybe you'll find something you like even if you don't expect it. Or, you could totally just always write your own!_

So that was the way, huh?

Nathan had to admit, she had a point about Barnaby/Tiger – although they liked to think of it as the other way around with Barnaby on bottom. Whoever this _origamically was, she obviously had the right idea with that one. Maybe they'd go read that later... But Bison/Origami? Nuh-uh. They were not allowed to pair their real-life love interest off with a straight kid who did nothing but sit around and watch anime. It didn't even make sense!

So they were going to just have to show them the light themselves.

_blazinglory_:  
Thanks for the info. I guess that if I want it, I'm just going to have to make it myself then. I hope you're prepared to love Bison/Fire Emblem!_

_By the way, _origamically, I doubt that you have to worry about the real Origami Cyclone ever coming out. That guy seems pretty straight to me._

And that would do it. They opened up a new document and cracked their knuckles, sitting up straight to get down to some Serious Writing. But first – just one more refresh.

__origamically:  
idk, he seems... kind of bi to me, at least? (≧ω≦)_

This poor girl was totally fooling herself. But if that's what they wanted to believe, then they weren't about to stop them from thinking whatever they wanted to think. It seemed like it would make them happy to know if their preferred pairings were the real deal in real life, so it still didn't make sense why anything had to ruin their enjoyment of Fire Emblem. Although now, Nathan couldn't escape the realization that they really _did_ want to know if Barnaby and Kotetsu were together... They would've been so good for each other if they got their shit together and stopped fighting all the time. But if they were really together... would the forum stop pairing them? Would it be too “real”?

Now it kind of made a bit of sense... But at the same time, it was different since Nathan really did know the people the fans were writing about. Those two would be good for each other, even if it ruined the fandom's fanfiction.

Unfortunately, now that they had the document open, all they felt like writing about was Tiger/Barnaby.


	3. Break the Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt:Karina has a love/hate for Hero TV's forum. Love because she is popular on the forum but hate because Blue Rose fanfics tend to be either smutty porn, OOC romances or Blue Rose being used as a Mary Sue character. Which makes her jealous of other heroes that get more normal fic written about them even if it's a bit slashy.
> 
> When she notices that it's hard to find any fic with her in it with the influx of Barnaby/Tiger fic she decides to finally take matters in her own hand to write her own fic. So she writes male!Blue Rose fic in hopes of not only regaining popularity but to also have fanfic about her that won't make her want to bleach her eyes out.

This was a hobby that Karina was not allowed to speak of to anyone. She promised herself that. She could feel impending embarrassment if anyone ever happened to find out that she enjoyed snooping around the HeroTV forums to see what the fans were saying about her. As a hero, she wasn't supposed to let anything that anyone said about her effect her, but the truth was that she was still just like any other high school girl. She wanted to know what people thought, even if she knew that it may hurt.

But this didn't really hurt so much as it... just confused her deeply.

For the past few months, she had become a frequenter of the forum, sometimes posting under the name of “yukionna”. It was a nickname Kotetsu had given her once upon a time after they first met. She looked it up and liked the name a lot when she found out where it came from. She thought it was pretty and feminine and if it seemed to suit her so well in person, she figured that it would probably project a good image of herself to others online.

Usually, she only participated in Blue Rose discussion posts. Most of the time, she could tell when a post was being made by another girl, but it seemed like most of the posts were from men. It was pretty easy to tell when so many of them referred to her as their “waifu”. At first, she was offended. She didn't quite know what to make of all of those men acting like they owned her. It seemed similar to the disgusting men she encountered in person who wanted her phone number and tried to follow her around. But then she realized that they seemed different - more content to stay at their computer screens and fawn over her picture than to do anything about it in real life.

The more she read from those people, the more fascinated she became. They really looked at her as an ideal woman for some reason. She personally knew all of her own flaws and faults, but they were people who could only see Blue Rose. They liked her cold attitude and outfits and slightly clumsy nature. They called it “cute”.

Karina wished there was a way for her to give them even more hints about what Blue Rose was really like if it wouldn't risk her from being outed or, worse, accused of coming up with false information. (Apparently that was a crime on the forum punishable enough for banning.) She didn't want to get herself banned, but she also wanted to point out the things they were getting wrong. It was frustrating that they didn't even know when something was totally off-base.

For instance, all those stories about her and Ivan. Rather... Origami Cyclone. That wasn't adding up in her mind. She didn't understand where it was all coming from. It wasn't like Ivan was a bad guy or anything. She knew him in person herself and she could say that he was really nice, but... he really wasn't her type at all. He was quiet, kept to himself most of the time, and he was an anime-freak to say the least.

He hardly ever came to exercise with the others at the gym and it was probably because he was behind his computer at home, watching anime.

But maybe Karina couldn't blame him anymore. She had that obsession of hers, too. She was trying not to let it effect her personal life, but it was why she was sitting at home on her laptop instead of at the gym with the others.

“I hope I'm not getting like him...” she muttered quietly to herself.

What was one day? The other heroes could live without her presence for a bit. It wasn't like they all _had_ to be there at the same time, even if it had become a bit of a habit. They'd surely understand if they knew the kind of crime she was fighting online, anyway.

That crime? Fanfiction.

Okay, so maybe targeting _all_ fanfiction was a little unfair and too broad. There were some that were actually really good, but it was hard for her to shake how weird it felt to read them when she knew the people involved in them in real life. It was hard enough to imagine herself hooking up with Ivan, but for Antonio and him to be together? That sounded...

She was conflicted about that one. And about Tiger and Barnaby because that one made way too much sense in all the weirdest ways possible.

But that was besides the point. The longer she was there, the more she felt convinced by their writing, but what she never wanted to get used to was the _porn._ It was ridiculous how many of their stories involved Blue Rose doing sexually explicit things. There were a lot of similar stories that paired the men together, but they were usually pretty tasteful and some of them even sounded _cute_ , but she found the ones about herself to be absolutely _degrading_ most of the time.

That twenty-chapter story she found, for instance? As early as chapter two, Blue Rose was involved in a gang-bang and got rescued by Origami Cyclone. By the next chapter, he was fucking her in an alley. It wasn't just unrealistic, it was vulgar. Half of the time, the writers didn't even bother with her characterization. What was the point of it being her then? Couldn't they just focus on...

“Oh...” she said. “Oh. Oh... There aren't any other girls. Unless you count Pao-Lin...”

She shook her head, trying to banish the thought. She didn't even want to imagine what they would try to do to Dragon Kid. Fortunately, she hadn't even tried looking at her section of the forum yet.

“What am I supposed to do about that, though?” If she didn't like that, how was she supposed to change it? It wasn't like there were any other girl heroes that people could pair up and she doubted that they would listen to her in the discussions if she told them how she felt about those kinds of stories. They would probably just laugh at her since they seemed so popular.

She had to get help.

Leaning over the side of her bed, she grabbed her phone and sent out a quick text message.

A few minutes were spent waiting... and then there came a knock at her window. Arising from her bed, she got up to answer the window. After unlocking it and pushing it up, in rolled Ivan.

“You called, de go- uh... You wanted me?” His eyes were darting all over her room, taking it in as if he would never see the sight again. If Karina had her way and her plan worked, then that would probably be the truth. “A girl's... room...”

“Don't freak out too much, geek boy. I have a task for you.” She had to wave a hand to get him from locating her underwear drawer. She could tell where his eyes were traveling.

He stood up straight and nodded. “Whatever you wish – within reason.”

“I need your help. It's in a territory that I think you would be more familiar with.” Sitting down on her bed, she patted an open spot for him to sit down and hoped that he wouldn't pass out at the offer. When he took a seat, she spun her laptop around for him to see what was on her screen.

“T-This is...! Ah- Um... I can explain!”

“No need to explain.”

“But...”

“No buts. You see this kind of story? This is exactly the kind of thing that I hate. It's driving me crazy that there are so many people on the internet who are into this kind of thing.”

Ivan nodded, looking a little bit pale.

She sighed. “I know you don't like talking about the things you're into in person. That's okay. But I really want you to help me out here. I want this kind of thing to stop. I don't have any writing skills and I can't really relate enough to the users to talk to them properly to get my point across. So... could you help me? I want you to do something that will convince them to stop writing these kinds of... dirty stories about me.”

There was a moment of silence where it looked like Ivan didn't even breathe and then he let out a huge sigh. Relief?

“Yes! Of course... I mean.” He stopped to consider her proposal. “It might be hard. Uh, as you can see... It's popular – stories like that. A lot of people read them and even if you convince one person to stop, it doesn't mean that they all will. I get your feelings now though, so...”

“So?”

He bit his lip and looked off to the corner of the room. What was with that strange aura of his? He always seemed a little weird, but that time it seemed like it was even more than usual.

“I can try to write something for you, I guess. N-Not like I'm a member of the forum, though...”

Karina raised an eyebrow. “Really? I thought you would be. But I guess you wouldn't be into the heroes so much when you are one, huh?” She laughed. “Yeah, that makes sense. Anyway. You're going to help?”

Ivan still wasn't looking very confident, but he nodded anyway. “I'll do my best. I'm thinking that the only way you're going to convince them is to try to inundate them with stories about the other heroes, though. You would have to convince them that Blue Rose just isn't popular anymore.”

“Wait, what?”

He shrugged. “Blue Rose is popular. People want to write porn about her.”

“But... But- what? I mean, I don't even... I don't do things like that in real life even! I'm not some porn star! Why are they doing this to me?”

Ivan smirked; just a small one that would've gone unnoticed if she weren't paying attention. “Just don't think of it as you,” he explained. “People write a lot about Origami Cyclone, but I'm obviously not him. I'm not that heroic in real life, but if they want to write me that way, then I won't stop them.”

“Because that's a good thing!”

“Look, I don't have the time to sit at my computer and write you a twenty-chapter story about you being a badass super girl. If you want to really convince people, then you either have to change their minds by writing something new and amazing or by trying to make them believe that Blue Rose isn't popular. It sucks, I know, but for you, the easiest option might just be the second one.”

Her shoulders fell, her ego totally deflated. Ivan was playing on his home field. It sounded like he knew more about how to fight the internet than how to fight real-life criminals.

“I can't do it. If I make them think that she isn't popular, then... Then _I_ won't be popular. I'd lose my fans... my sponsors... my job... The fans really are everything.” She flopped back on her bed and threw her hands over her eyes. She had the perfect ally on her side, but it seemed like even he was powerless to bring about the kind of change that she ideally wanted.

“If they want porn, you just have to let them have it. You can let them know how you feel and I could help you with that, but if you really want something to change on the forum, that would probably cause problems in real life.”

While she stayed in her defeated pose, she peeked open an eye to look up at him. “I did have one idea. I thought that maybe if there were another girl that people might pay more attention to her instead. But... We don't have any other girls except for Dragon Kid and it would be really weird for people to write about her. I don't know. Maybe if I invented a new character...”

Ivan's head shot up and his eyes widened as if an idea had literally struck him at that moment.

“Did you think of something?”

“N- ...Uh, maybe. I... dunno.”

She sighed, resuming her previous lounging pose of defeat. “Thanks, Ivan.” That sounded like it would be a good enough cue for him to leave. She didn't want to sound impolite about it, but if there was nothing left for him to do to help her, then they would just have to call it a day.

She could hear the bed's springs creaking and felt the weight on the bed shifting as Ivan got up.

“I'll... see you later then. Sorry I couldn't be much more of a help and... Yeah.”

By the time she sat herself up, the window was closed and Ivan was already gone.

 

That night, she checked back to the forum and clicked into the fanfiction section. There was something kind of masochistic about it; just the fact alone that she kept going to it even when she knew she was going to be horrified by the number of porn stories she'd see. Although, that time, amid the sea of new Barnaby/Tiger fics and the usual NC-17 thing featuring Blue Rose, one new thing seemed to be gaining popularity.

__origamically:_  
[fic] A new kind of Blue Rose fic!  
Title: On Thin Ice  
Author: _origamically  
Pairing: Male!Blue Rose/Origami Cyclone  
Rating: NC-17 (genderswap, dubcon)  
Summary: Origami Cyclone and Blue Rose attempt to stop a mad scientist who has a mysterious new biological weapon.  
Disclaimer: HeroTV blah blah I don't own it, you've heard it before. 

_So, minna. I heard today from a friend of mine that they love Blue Rose... but they're tired of seeing porn with her. But we totally don't have any other girls on HeroTV! (Don't say it, pedos.) Although, I don't think my friend has any problem with yaoi... So I think I found the loophole? (ﾟ∀ﾟ)_

_Blue Rose as seme! ヽ(≧▽≦)/ Tell me this is not the hottest fucking thing you've ever heard of? Hnnnngh. Don't worry, I'm not going to stop writing the Tiger/Barnaby stuff now, but I thought I'd give this a shot. Hope you like it!_

Karina couldn't believe her eyes. She, Blue Rose, was the one in charge in this story. She - “he” rather, was the one saving Origami and it was all...! It was all really...

“Why is this hot? I don't even like Ivan like that.” She guessed that it was fine if male!Blue Rose was the one who liked Origami. They were just characters, after all.

It seemed that Ivan had managed to do it. Even if it wasn't in the way she expected, she realized that it wasn't something she had to be so upset about. If it was just a character, then it wasn't like she was being affected by any of it in real life as Karina. Not to mention, now it seemed like male!Blue Rose was going to make her more popular than ever before.

Now she knew she had nothing to fear about these new Barnaby/Tiger stories.

She feared to even touch those things as they grew in number by the day. Out of all of her hero friends, that pair seemed the most real to her and it felt absolutely too weird to read about them. She knew how close their “characters” were to their real personalities, so those were off-limits.

She sighed, feeling a lot more content about things. She'd have to thank Ivan, though. Or rather, “_origamically”.

“Wait...” That name was ringing a bell. “Isn't that...”

_The person who wrote that 20-chaptered thing about Blue Rose slutting it up with Origami Cyclone._

“N-Nah,” she tried to tell herself. It had to just all be a coincidence. After all, Ivan said that he didn't have an account. “This can't be Ivan. Unless he... lied.”

Her horror was as cold as ice.


	4. Love is Blind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: Because I love those fics and this verse and everything about it ffff  
> Two heroes roleplay/cyber in the Hero TV forum chatroom.
> 
> Note: It... didn't really turn into cybering, really.

That morning, Agnes had waltzed into the office and leaned over Barnaby's desk, smiling that kind of grin of hers that meant that she was fostering the type of idea that usually made him sick. He took his time in looking up from the documents he was assessing and gave her a tilt of his head that silently implored her to spill it.

Apparently, a moderator at the HeroTV forum was at home sick and couldn't attend to her moderating duties on the site. The specific moderator in question was in charge of looking after the site's chatroom during the day. Naturally, Barnaby didn't understand why he was the new man for the job; why Agnes couldn't find someone a lot more appropriate to fill in for this moderator instead. However, she assured him that it was an opportunity for him like no other. She knew that he wasn't a visitor of the site yet and she thought it would be in his interest to see what the fans were saying about the heroes in real time.

The fans were their most important critics, after all.

After he begrudgingly agreed to the task, she moved him over and took control of his keyboard. She created him a new temporary account, then logged herself in to grant it moderator status.

“That ought to be all you need,” she told him. Under his username, she signed him into the chatroom. “Just keep an eye on it. If anyone says anything that doesn't follow the rules listed above, then you can warn them. If they refuse you or start to get too obnoxious, you can kick them out. No banning on here for you right now, though.” She winked. Like he really cared about banning people.

Before she left, she paused in the doorway and looked over her shoulder with an all too disconcerting smirk. Barnaby certainly did not want to know what that was for, but he had the feeling that he would soon find out.

He had never visited the site, nor had any interest in doing so. Despite whatever the old man seemed to think, Barnaby didn't have so much of an ego that he would do things like intentionally seeking out what the fans thought of him. It was obvious enough to him what they thought when he was out on the street. Then again, that was one of the advantages of being a hero without a mask.

Although, if he was going to have to spend some time on the site for a day, he would at least... give it a look. He couldn't deny that he was slightly curious to know what they said on the internet about him. The internet was a place where no holds were barred, where people spoke openly and sometimes brutally about their feelings about any infinite number of topics.

The username she gave him, though... _bunnylove_... Wasn't that a little too silly? No one would ever guess it was him with a name like that, but _really?_

He cringed on the inside.

“What's up with the face?” Kotetsu asked as he walked into the office and sat himself down at his desk.

“Uh...” Oh, so he was making a face to accompany that awkward feeling of emasculation. “It's nothing. Good afternoon.”

The other man winced and hunched over in his chair. “Yeah, I got up a little late today. Sorry about that. Hope I haven't missed anything too interesting in my absence.”

Barnaby rolled his eyes and directed his attention as hard as he could to the webpage instead of the sad human failure next to himself. That adorable, sad human failure... He really hoped that the site would be a distraction because he could smell him today. Was that cologne? Or just... Or did he just smell that nice always?

_Reading._ The website. People in the chatroom. The air was suddenly _amazing._

But more importantly, the chatroom where people were talking about Blue Rose. It seemed like they had taken a liking to... 'male!Blue Rose'? What did that even mean, he wondered?

As his eyes kept scanning the chat, scrolling up and down to get some context, he came to the conclusion that they were talking about some kind of fan-made character. Apparently the 'male' version of Blue Rose was something that the fans came up with in order to pair her up in new ways. Well, that made sense.

Not really.

Barnaby had no idea what any of it was about. It all sounded like nonsense to him. Pairing the heroes up? He didn't even know that people wasted their free time thinking about things like that. If they were going to talk about a pairing, then they should have considered him and Kotetsu.

_What am I even thinking? He's right next to me. I shouldn't think like that._

He stole a glance at his partner. Fortunately, it seemed like Kotetsu was distracted enough by his own desk work that he didn't feel like bothering him. Barnaby dove back into the topic of the chat again and it seemed that they had started talking about him. Oddly enough, they were using only his first name, which sounded rather familiar of them to do.

_T-Tsundere?_ That meant... He'd heard Kotetsu use the word. It was something Japanese, wasn't it? It meant that he was a hot-and-cold person. He really wished that they wouldn't talk about things like that, but... Why were the fans talking about that, anyway?

_**_origamically:** But he's sooo tsundere in real life._

_**HeroLove:** That isn't really a problem, though. I think that's what makes him so endearing._

_**yukionna:** But it comes off as being so cold. He should loosen up more or he'll totally lose Tiger for real._

_**_origamically:** But they aren't REALLY together. ...I think._

_**HeroLove:** Who knows. (They would be if I had my way.) I just mean that it's what makes him such a good pair with Tiger for fics._

_**yukionna:** I know what you mean, but still..._

_**toratoratora:** he'll come around eventualy._

_**_origamically:** lmao Here comes the optimist._

_**toratoratora:** i'm just saying._

_**HeroLove:** ..._

_**yukionna:** And? What makes you say that?_

_**toratoratora:** well w tsunderes, they always end up giving into their dere side right?_

_**_origamically:** As an expert on tsunderes, I can agree with that. But do you think it would really work like that in real life?_

_**bunnylove:** I don't see why not._

Oh shit. Agnes hadn't told him whether or not it was alright for him to participate in the chatroom along with everyone else. Was he supposed to act as a mysterious figurehead and keep his opinions to himself? Would it... hurt if he decided to say some things? He didn't have any big plans to become a frequent member on the site or anything, so it couldn't hurt to chime in, especially when everyone was getting worked up.

About _him_ , no less. But they didn't know that. They didn't have to know that, and he could say whatever he wanted to try to steer them towards believing what he thought about Barnaby. Er... _as_ Barnaby. ...As someone who felt like they really knew what Barnaby was like. Right.

_**_origamically:** They're both heroes, though. Think about it, guys. How likely is it that two of the heroes would really get together with each other?_

_**HeroLove:** Those two? LOL You're joking, right? They're the most likely of the whole bunch._

_**bunnylove:** Wait, what? What makes you say that, though?_

_**yukionna:** *sigh* They're the most popular pair on here. I see you're a mod, but are you new?_

_**_origamically:** Oi, don't interrogate the mod! Mods = gods._

_**HeroLove:** I heard that little_lamb is sick today. This must be a temp mod._

_**_origamically:** Ooooh._

_**yukionna:** oic._

_**toratoratora:** anyway, i think he'll come around too, bunnylove. huh. cute name, btw._

_**bunnylove:** Oh... thank you. I didn't make the name myself, though._

_**toratoratora:** i call Barnaby 'Bunny', personally. i've been hoping that it would catch on._

_**_origamically:** He's got a rabbit on his suit now! Maybe they heard you. lol_

_**bunnylove:** Doesn't Tiger call him that?_

_**toratoratora:** He does! i've heard it myself._

_**bunnylove:** It is kind of cute. I don't know if it's a name that a grown man should like, but... I bet he likes it._

_**toratoratora:** because he's tsundere?_

_**bunnylove:** It just sounds like... an endearing nickname. So whether he likes it or not, he can probably tell that Tiger thinks fondly of him when he calls him that._

_**HeroLove:** Awwww. So it's like a pet name? You sure he's not just making fun of him?_

_**bunnylove:** He just calls him that now. Haven't you guys heard that?_

_**_origamically:** Whoa whoa whoa. EVIDENCE? (ﾟ∀ﾟ)_

_**toratoratora:** if he's not calling him that to make fun of him, then why else would he use it?_

_**bunnylove:** You guys really think that Tiger likes Barnaby like that, though?_

_**yukionna:** It's sickeningly obvious. This just adds fuel to the fire._

_**_origamically:** I had no idea it was an affectionate thing. I mean, we're just speculating, of course. I'm not going to turn into a stan or anything._

_**yukionna:** You write fics about them, origami. You're already a stan. btw, I have a bone to pick with you..._

_**_origamically:** A what now? What'd I do? :3c_

// _toratoratora invited you to a private chat_ //

A private chat? He was supposed to be looking after the chatroom, so if he accepted a private chat, that would mean that he couldn't see what else was going on. But he really did want to know more about their discussion and that one user seemed to be a big fan of the pairing.

“By the way, you've been doing a lot of typing over there. I hope that you're working, for your sake,” he informed Kotetsu, swiveling around in his chair to look at him. Barnaby had been getting increasingly engrossed in the dialogue of the chatroom but noticed his surrounds again when Kotetsu's typing had stopped.

His partner tilted his screen away from Barnaby's line of sight and grinned sheepishly.

“Workin' hard, Bunny. Workin' hard.”

_Bunny..._

Maybe that was as good of a time as any to just ask about it. He didn't have to be too explicit when he asked. He'd just keep it about the name, that was all.

“By the way, are you ever going to stop calling me that?”

Kotetsu sighed. “You know I'm not saying it to be an ass anymore. It's just like a nickname.”

They were right? No. No, he wasn't going to let himself believe that. He didn't want to get his hopes up because even if the old man was using it like a cute nickname, that didn't mean that he really liked him like that. So what if he said the name so fondly every time and gave him those adorable eyes, like he just wanted them to _bond_ and stop fighting and...

He really had to stop thinking so much. Then suddenly, cutting through his thoughts, Kotetsu's phone suddenly started vibrating loudly. He dove across his keyboard, came very close to knocking over his coffee, then nearly dropped the phone before he got a hold of it.

“ _Kaede_ , sweetheart! Yes, baby... Yes... Oh...”

Ah. A personal call from his daughter. She was really cute, so Barnaby couldn't be jealous of her stealing Kotetsu's attention. While Kotetsu was occupied with his call, he could just resume his Temporary Mod-duties. Clicking back into the chat window, he took a look at what that user toratoratora had been trying to say to him in their private chat.

_**toratoratora** : gtu;pketyfjt;k'''kppppppp'''''''_

How would you feel if you had just been talking about some of your very personal feelings with someone supposedly anonymous online and you realized that you actually knew them in person? Not only did you know them, they were actually the person you secretly liked. Not only that, he was an idiotic old man who chatted online to anyone who would listen to him blab about his precious coworker – you – while he should've been doing work. Also, he was laying on his keyboard and nearly spilled his coffee because he was just that thrilled to receive a call from his little girl.

“Old man.”

Kotetsu looked up from his desk, the phone still clutched to his ear.

“You...”

“Am I in trouble?”

“-are so cute that it hurts.”

“...huh?”


	5. The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: As Kotetsu is leaving work, Barnaby realizes the old man forgot to send some paperwork over, so he goes over to Kotetsu's computer to get it. A text document's been left open on a Tiger/Bunny fic... that he was writing? (Or reading! Perhaps _origamically wrote it) What ensues, anon? :3c
> 
> WILL KOTETSU QUICKLY RETURN AFTER HE REMEMBERS HE FORGOT TO CLOSE THAT TEXT DOCUMENT!? WILL THEY HAVE A HEATED DISCUSSION ABOUT WHAT IT IS AND HOW IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!? WILL THEY HAVE SEX ATOP ONE OF THEIR DESKS!? Stay tuned for the next episode of Hero TV

_I... I missed my opportunity. It was there and I had it and I just... let it slip right from between my fingers._

The opportunity, of course, being Barnaby's chance to finally fix the predicament he had between him and his partner. Despite however it seemed, it was very difficult and exhausting to pretend to be so disinterested and even infuriated by the one person he actually happened to like. A lot. One could say that his overreactions to him were like a defense mechanism, there to protect his heart from someone who was trying to get too close.

But now he couldn't deactivate that mechanism. No matter how he tried, he couldn't find the words to tell the old man that he loved him. Now, for sure, he knew that Kotetsu felt the same way about him, but when he finally got his cue to say it, to say _anything_ about it, he covered it up once again.

_“Huh?”_

_“...I said... That-... That you should be working.”_

It was like he delivered a punch straight to his own gut. Why couldn't he do it? What kind of motivation did he need to do it?

“I'll be right back, alright? Hold the fort for me while I'm gone!”

Barnaby pinched the bridge of his nose from beneath his glasses. “Like you're really doing anything.”

But by the time he looked up, Kotetsu had already run out of the office and left him alone. He was probably just going to the restroom for a minute, but even then, Barnaby had to be a dick to him. It was a reflex, wasn't it? Was that 'tsundere' thing a disease...?

It was all the fault of Agnes and the damnable forum site and its inane chatroom. If it weren't for her, he wouldn't have had to ever accept that private chat with Kotetsu... Not that Kotetsu ever even realized who he was talking to. Barnaby listened to him grumbling over at his computer after he hung up his phone, right when he realized that his chat partner had exited from their conversation. Barnaby continued to watch the chatroom after that, but kept his participation at the minimum and tried his best to not pay too much attention to what they were talking about. As long as it seemed calm, then that was enough, but...

Their topic was all about them, and 'toratoratora' sounded so happy to be talking about him. It made Barnaby's heart twist in confusing ways. He wanted to be mad that Kotetsu was talking about all of that with a bunch of internet people they didn't even know, but at the same time, Barnaby couldn't blame him. It felt a lot easier to talk about it online. He wanted to join their conversation and talk about how much he admired that foolish old hero, too. If he started doing that, he knew that it wouldn't help him get anywhere in real life, though.

They sounded like they had a lot of confidence in him. Was Kotetsu waiting for him to take the initiative?

_Oh, initiative._ Speaking of initiative, he'd nearly forgotten about their latest damage report. Kotetsu must have finished it.

Barnaby rolled his chair over to Kotetsu's side to look for it. Predictably, it seemed like he didn't have any real work out in front of him. He did have something up on his screen besides that chatroom, though. Barnaby wasn't the kind of guy who would snoop into someone else's private things normally, but his eye happened to catch his own name up on the screen. Captured and curious, he kept reading from where he spotted his name.

_Barnaby wrapped his legs around his waist and wiggled his hips invitingly._

_“Well? Here's your reward for a mission well done, Tiger.”_

What was that...?

_Tiger put his hands on his hips, stilled them, and grinned broadly. “You should know better than to tempt a tiger like that, Bunny,” he said with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. Without any further warning, he pressed forward into Barnaby's tight, virgin-_

“What is this,” Barnaby muttered to himself, backing up slowly from Kotetsu's computer. “W-what is this perverted old man writing a-about me? _About me!_ How does anyone even know that I'm-”

There was a scream then; a yell from the doorway. In a matter of seconds, Kotetsu was back at his computer, standing in front of his monitor with his arms thrown wide open protectively as if he were shielding Barnaby from reading any further. But all of that registered slowly in Barnaby's mind, as his thought processes were still hard at work trying to comprehend what he had just been reading.

“Was that... That was erotic fiction about... me?”

“Uh...” Kotetsu turned around to hastily close the file and turned back to his hysterical partner.

“Or should I say _us._ ”

The situation they were in wasn't very salvageable. A normal person could see that it was a situation that there was no outs from. But Kotetsu was not a normal person. His optimism was superhuman. So while anyone could've seen that he was probably going to receive the beating of a lifetime no matter what he tried to do, he was still going to try to save himself anyway.

“I didn't write it.”

“Oh?”

Kotetsu could see that Barnaby had that distant, crazed look in his eyes; the indication that he was about two seconds away from glowing blue and flipping some tables over in rage.

“I was researching the fans. I found out that they write some pretty... odd things about us. As you can see! Aha... ha... ha... You aren't laughing.”

“It was a new document, old man. Anyone could tell that you were the one who was writing that.”

His breath caught and a noise was issued from his throat that sounded as if he were being strangled. He tried to back up slowly, like he was trying to move away from a dangerous animal, but only ended up sitting on his desk with nowhere left to go. “I... I copy and pasted it! Why would I write anything like that? It's not like I... I mean, it's not like-... We're partners, so-...!”

“Kotetsu.”

His stuttering stopped and he froze. Things were really serious if Barnaby was calling him by his name. He had his eyes trained on a spot on the floor and his fists were curled at his sides. Inside, Kotetsu feared that that meant that he was getting ready to take a swing at him. If he was, then he would be prepared to duck.

Carefully, “Y-yes, Bunny?”

“Say it.”

“Hm?”

“I want you to actually tell me how you feel about me right now.”

Kotetsu edged carefully away from his computer. If he was going to dodge a punch, he wanted to be sure that no electronics wrongfully received the force of Barnaby's fury instead.

“Look, I'm sorry about that. I, uh... I'll work on a better explanation, but-”

“I love you.”

He froze and looked up at Barnaby who was looking directly at him, his face completely red yet filled with determination. “Wh...”

“Y-You don't have to write things like that. It's... it's embarrassing! You should be ashamed of yourself! You've had the real thing sitting next to you and you could've had me this entire time, you... stupid old man!”

Things had gone slightly better than expected. Barnaby had been fearing that he would've had to keep that locked away inside him for another small eternity before he ever found the way to tell him. Ever since Kotetsu swaggered into his life, though, things got peculiar. Of course it would take something like _that_ to become the encouragement he needed.

Silence swept the room for a minute or two. Neither spoke. They hardly even breathed. Barnaby could feel the red in his face draining by the second until Kotetsu finally replied.

“You really read all that...?”

“Only the parts about me wrapping my legs around you. But I think you got one thing a little mixed up, old man.” He crept forward and slipped his fingers under Kotetsu's tie, toyed with the fabric beneath his thumb. “I'd be the one on top.”

Did he really just say that? Wow, now that he'd said how he felt, he was really on a roll. Feeling much more emboldened, he pushed his partner's monitor aside and hoisted him up the rest of the way onto his desk by his belt loops. There was no one else around in the office aside from the two of them and he had little fear that anyone would be making an appearance any time soon. That didn't stop Kotetsu from glancing nervously toward the doorway, though.

Barnaby gently grabbed his chin and brought his attention back to the man in front of him who had him trapped on his own desk. If there was something he had to be worried about, having someone walk in on them would have been the least of his worries. Especially when Barnaby was grinning in the most devious way.

He leaned over Kotetsu and the fronts of their pants rubbed against each other. Barnaby could feel that he was also getting hard – or had possibly already gotten there before he even captured him like that if the train of thought he was following was correct.

“I see,” Barnaby murmured knowingly, leaning in to nip at Kotetsu's jaw. “Writing that was getting you hard so you had to run off. What'd you go do, hm?”

“I... I didn't do anything.” He swallowed and glanced up at Barnaby nervously. “I had to come back quickly because I remembered that I left that up.”

So he _was_ right.

“But what I don't understand still,” he said, grinding his hips forward slowly, “is why you sat there this whole time and never said anything to me about how you felt. Well, 'toratoratora'?”

“W-wha- How do you know that I'm-” He cut himself off with a groan and grabbed Barnaby's hips, making sure that they would stay together, trying to get more friction. “Agh, whatever. Just... keep doing that.”

“Like you have to tell me to do that...”

No one around, right? Then if they were going to go that far, then he decided that he might as well take it the rest of the way. He unbuckled his belt and hastily tugged it out from its loops. It felt like a blessing to finally free his arousal which had been pressing up painfully against the front of his pants. While he was working at his own clothes, Kotetsu tugged down his pants and quickly had a hand wrapped around both of them. While Barnaby had expected it to feel good, he hadn't known how different and amazing it would feel to have his partner rubbing against him like that.

“Bunny,” Kotetsu said, snapping him out of the hazy, blissful place his mind was falling into. “You know, this outta be a crime. Look at us.”

Did he have to? He was going to come if he looked down at their cocks pressed together like that.

Kotetsu clicked his tongue. “You haven't even kissed me yet. Don't you know that the first thing you have to do after dramatically confessing your love to someone is kiss them?”

Well that was slightly embarrassing. It seemed he'd accidentally skipped an entire base. And to think that even five minutes ago, Barnaby would have been able to live the rest of his life contentedly if he'd just gotten a single kiss out of the old man. Instead, they'd already skipped straight to rubbing against together like horny teenagers.

“Ah... I didn't even...”

Kotetsu interrupted him by grabbing the back of his neck and brought him down for a deep kiss. Caught mid-word, Kotetsu's tongue slipped right in and Barnaby sputtered breathlessly until he realized that he should be kissing back. It looked like he'd forgotten all about trying to convince 'toratoratora' that he wasn't right about that 'virign' part. As long as he never brought it up himself, he prayed that Kotetsu would never pester him about it. He knew what kind of fuel that would've been for the old man to use against him for once.

On the bright side, it seemed that there was a real advantage to that age gap. Screw being “on top”. Barnaby put his arms around Kotetsu's shoulders and let him take things wherever he wanted to. He thought that the both of them might be a real handful, but Kotetsu had long, rough, surprisingly skilled fingers.

Breaking away to breathe, Barnaby buried his face in Kotetsu's neck and whimpered.

Kotetsu made some sort of little laugh under his breath; the kind that, under normal circumstances, would've annoyed the living daylights out of Barnaby. Instead, he rocked his hips to bring on the friction, creating the perfect payback that reduced the man beneath him to making the same kinds of noises that he was.

The rhythm was awkward. In fact, there wasn't very much of a rhythm to even speak of. It was pure, liberated frustration with tongues battling, teeth clacking, and their arousals pressed together with Kotetsu's hand trying to messily guide the both of them. To be fair, Barnaby couldn't last long. For a change, it wasn't an area that he was skilled in, but he knew that his partner would provide him with a lot of practice. 

After he came down from his own short yet blinding climax, he had the satisfaction of bringing Kotetsu off the rest of the way with his own hand.

And then, after, he laid himself out on top of him and let his brain disconnect for a while, happy to just lazily kiss along Kotetsu's neck while Kotetsu struggled to get him off of him, complaining that he was too hot.

All in all, it was a mission accomplished and a very good day, save for the slight amount of awkwardness they shared when they separated and realized that they'd made a complete mess out of the fronts of their outfits. Barnaby spared him the walk of shame by driving him back home at the end of the day and even got to enjoy a parting kiss before Kotetsu got out of the car.

Once Barnaby got home and cleaned up, he found the moment to reflect back on all of it. Maybe, after all, he didn't have to murder Agnes. There was no doubt that she knew what she was doing, but that didn't mean that it wasn't something he shouldn't thank her for.

He sat down with his laptop and a hot cup of tea that night, and, just for the hell of it, decided to take another peek at that HeroTV forum site. Now that he and Kotetsu had resolved their sexual frustration for the moment, the old man wouldn't have to be visiting the site anymore, he thought.

As soon as he opened up the chatroom, he could tell that there was trouble in paradise.

For starters, it seemed as though something very bad had happened to that smug _origamically kid. A ton of people were talking about her, but she was nowhere in sight, which was apparently prompting them to worry about her safety in real life. That other girl, yukionna, was apparently to blame for it and it sounded like the site members were readying a headhunt for her. Was that really what people got up to in their free time online? Was this _really_ his job as a temporary moderator?

Oh. No, in fact, it seemed that the real moderator had returned.

__**little_lamb:** I'd just like to inform everyone that _origamically is alright. I know them offline, so you can all calm down. I'm going to deal with yukionna personally, as well. Please refrain from making a big deal out of it.  
**HeroLove:** You tell 'em!  
**little_lamb:** ...Get back to work, please.  
**HeroLove:** Boooooo hissss you aren't fun.  
**little_lamb:** Now, I return you to your regularly scheduled ship discussions. 

Had he ever met this moderator, he wondered? They sounded like a very level-headed person. Their team could definitely use someone like them. Barnaby wanted to chime in and apologize for leaving when things obviously took a turn for the worst, but he didn't want to risk getting himself banned for it. Bringing the situation back up and reminding them that he was probably the real cause of it wouldn't have been smart.

The chat continued, albeit slowly when everyone awkwardly tried to return from talking about whatever it was that had gotten them so riled up.

__**barnabysfuturewife:** lets talk about how i'm barnaby's future wife :3  
**toratoratora:** nope  
**HeroLove:** pffffft  
**barnabysfuturewife:** no other girl is more perfect for him though.  
**toratoratora:** i have it on good authority that he an Tiger r really together now.  
**HeroLove:** AHAHAHA SERIOUSLY?  
**toratoratora:** don't laugh i'm bein serious  
**barnabysfuturewife:** lol he's lyging  
**HeroLove:** Sorry, I didn't mean to sound sarcastic  
**HeroLove:** But what's this "authority"?  
**little_lamb:** Please refrain from wild speculation.  
**toratoratora:** not wild, not speculation. just wait til you hear about it on tv.  
**HeroLove:** @little_lamb I love myself right now.  
**barnabysfuturewife:** u guys rn't funny. u know that not everybody ships that! it doesn't matter if theyre popular they arent really together so just stop!!  
**little_lamb:** Don't test me, HeroLove. I'm the boss here.  
**HeroLove:** Not testin', just sayin'. ;3 ♥♥  
**toratoratora:** i wrote a tiger/barnaby fic, btw. i posted it since _origamically is missing tonight.  
**bunnylove:** @toratoratora I WILL MURDER YOU.  
**HeroLove:** Death threats are not tolerated here. ...Are you the temp mod? wtf is going on tonight.  
**toratoratora:** oh ****  
//the user bunnylove was banned// 

Good riddance. Being banned from that stupid chat would probably save him from a world of stress. For now, he had a tiger to go kill, though.


	6. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: Rock Bison needs more love. ;_;
> 
> Let's have Antonio using a computer for the first time, wondering what the fuss is all about. He then winds up in the role-playing part of the forum. The dirty role-playing part of the forum, that is.
> 
> Note: Since this is presumably in The Future, I couldn't imagine Antonio having never used a computer ever. So that's mostly my change here. Enjoy de gozaru!

“I've been hearing some pretty wild stuff lately.”

“Hm? Oh yeah?” Kotetsu took another sip of his drink and wiggled his feet under the bar stool. It had been a pretty tiring day, but the time they spent together just drinking and unwinding helped them both relax.

Antonio took in a deep breath, adopting a serious expression. Nothing much seemed to be worrying Kotetsu. That was exactly what was bothering Antonio, though, considering what he had been hearing all day.

“I dunno.” How do you ask your friend about that kind of thing anyway? He didn't want to risk hurting him, but it was probably best to just go for the straight-forward approach. Kotetsu was a strong guy. If it was just a misunderstanding or some rumor then he could take it and it would probably bounce right off of him. It wasn't like he was unfamiliar with rumors anyway. It was basically a part of their job. Came with the territory. “I just kept hearing all day in places that you were hooking up with that new partner of yours.”

“Barnaby? Mn. Yeah.”

Antonio took the wrong second to take a sip of his drink, because the next second, he was spitting it out.

“ _What?_ ” It probably wasn't the most polite response, but how was Kotetsu expecting him to respond to that when he admitted it so quickly like that?

His friend grinned and leaned across the bar to get him a napkin. “Yeah, I think we have the internet to thank for it, actually. I don't really know how it all happened myself, but one thing led to another and...”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Antonio held up his hands defensively. “Don't keep going with that sentence. It sounded like you were going to say that you two already...”

How could Kotetsu prove all of his fears to be correct, just with a look? Those innocent eyes meant nothing innocent at all!

“We kind of did,” he said, grinning. He held out the napkin which Antonio quickly snatched from him.

“Why don't you sound more serious about this? You aren't the only one this has an effect on. Think about Kaede. Even if you don't tell her that you're a hero, you know that she'll notice when you're the guy walking around with her favorite superhero. And then she's going to get curious and start thinking 'Oh, doesn't daddy look a lot like Wild Tiger'? Then there's the fact that a relationship with your own partner could cause a _world_ of problems for you. And have you suddenly forgotten about your wife or something?”

Kotetsu sobered immediately and stared at him crossly. Normally a gentle soul, Kotetsu was absolutely terrifying when he got mad.

“Do you really think I've forgotten?” He made a point of tapping the ring on his finger in front of him as a reminder. “But that was _years ago_ , Antonio. If she had a way to speak to me, I'm sure she'd agree that this is the best thing for me to do right now. I won't forget. ...I can't. But I can't let that stop me from loving someone else now.”

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Maybe it was just because it all came about so suddenly, though. Once that Barnaby Brooks kid entered the picture, it seemed like everything had started to change for all of them. For so many years, he'd sat at the very same bar with Kotetsu and listened to him cry over his drink as he recalled all the fond moments he had with his late wife. Out of all of them, Kotetsu was the one that Barnaby affected the most. To think that he'd managed to do something for Kotetsu that he couldn't...

Maybe he was just... kind of jealous of that.

“Sorry,” he said, lowering his head, his large shoulders sagging. “I just don't wanna see you getting hurt, and...” He took a breath. “You won't leave this other old man behind now that you've got a cute young guy in your life, right?”

Slowly, Kotetsu's eyes softened and he nudged their glasses together, making them clink. “You're my best friend. You should always know that nothing changes that.”

They raised their glasses to drink and Antonio felt himself smile with what felt like a bit of relief.

“Now then,” Kotetsu said. “Now we gotta set you up!”

“Do what?”

“Set you up! The internet, Antonio, my friend! The internet! It was what led me down my path to happiness, and I get the crazy feeling that it might just be able to do the same for you. I wanna repay you for all these years of listening to an old man whine, after all.”

_Crazy feeling_ , huh? Well that definitely sounded like a crazy idea if Antonio had ever heard of one. And now he probably wasn't going to enjoy where Kotetsu's plan was going to lead him.

Before he left the bar, Kotetsu explained all about how he and Barnaby found each other on the site. He told him what his username was and how to get to the forum, and he made Antonio swear that he would go take a look at it for himself. Antonio had never felt the motivation to see what the fans were saying before, but Kotetsu did his best to convince him that he should be interested. Also, he knew that he would just be disappointed if he didn't go try it out. Once he had one of his silly plans in his head, they always had to fulfill it.

He highly doubted that he was going to find true love on that site, though. It had to be some kind of weird fluke that Kotetsu and Barnaby had even been on the site at the same time. Their show was disgustingly popular, so for two of the heroes to be on it at the same time and actually encounter each other? It was the hand of God and nothing less.

What was Kotetsu's username again? Ah, right. How could he forget? It was such a stupid play on his real name. No wonder Barnaby recognized him.

He wasn't going to be that predictable with his own naming choice.

He sat on his living room couch that night with his laptop on his coffee table in front of him and thought long and hard about what his name should be. It was turning out to be surprisingly hard to come up with a name that didn't relate to being a hero. He tried to think of all the things he liked to do and what kinds of names he could make from that, but he couldn't think of how a name about drinking could sound appropriate on a site that was frequented by children.

Children, huh. There was a snort Antonio had to suppress when he realized that he was lumping his two friends in with kids.

In the end, he realized that he'd already wasted way too much time on unsuccessfully picking a name.

“Guess this is what we're goin' with.”

_get_the_horns_

Fine, so it was excruciatingly predictable. Whatever. It wasn't like he wanted to be on the site to start with. What was Kotetsu expecting him to do, anyway?

The main page of the forum listed a whole bunch of things that would interest a fan: categories for each hero, subcategories beneath those and so on. He may not have been very experienced with forum posting or chatting, but he knew what fanfiction was and he knew that he was not interested. At least... Not until he saw his name under the “latest post” column...

Nope. It was a trap. If he fell into that, he'd be reading all kinds of messed-up things that the fans wrote and that was just not what he wanted to have in his head for the rest of the night.

_They pair people... 'together', though, right?_ At least he could admit to a bit of curiosity.

To zig-zag that bullet, he clicked on the next link and found himself in another kind of hub. He quickly determined that it must have been the chatroom that Kotetsu was talking about. Before he could dive into chatting, there was a list of all the available chats that had been created for people to participate in. At the top was the one populated with the most users, the general discussion room.

_205 people?_ Was 11 o'clock at night their peak hour or were there just that many people on the site at all times? And that was only the general discussion. The total number of users currently in the chats had to be up near one thousand once he looked at how many people were in the subsequent rooms.

_'Barnaby Brigade'?_ No.

_'Burning For Fire Emblem'?_ ...No, he could spare himself.

_'Electro-loli rabu room'?_ The heck was that even supposed to be?

He kept going down the list, looking for rooms that would have fewer people in them. It would have been nice to talk to someone one-on-one instead of jumping into a whole chatroom full of people who drooled all over the heroes. Now, it was nice to receive some praise, but he wasn't so hurting for it that he wanted to go listen to people talk about him.

_'Looking for Bison'?_ ...One user.

One user 'looking for Bison'? How strange was it that _he_ was Bison and that this room only had one person? Were they possibly reading his mind? It was an open invitation, but there was no way that they were really expecting the real thing, right? Maybe it meant something else.

He could just click it and find out...

_//get_the_horns has entered the chat//_  
**_origamically:** Yaaaaay! A wild Bison appears!  
**get_the_horns:** I'm not really Bison.  
**_origamically:** Well, I'm looking for someone to roleplay Bison with me, so... If you aren't a Rock Bison RPer then uh...? 

Oh, so this was... roleplay? He was familiar with what it was, but he wasn't a roleplayer. He wasn't even all that confident with his writing skills. But, he was very confident in his ability to be Bison. And if this was just going to be one chat with one person that he didn't even know, then he wasn't going to have to worry about embarrassing himself. Alright, he could do it. First, he had to make himself not sound like such an idiot, though.

__**get_the_horns:** I mean I just don't usually roleplay Bison.  
**_origamically:** With that username? （´・ω・｀）  
**get_the_horns:** I'm a big Bison fan. I'm used to roleplaying as Tiger.  
**_origamically:** Ohhh, okay. Tiger's a popular one. I'm Origami Cyclone, if that one wasn't obvious. Anyway, I was thinking we could do something ecchi. 

Whatever that meant. Sounded Japanese.

__**get_the_horns:** Alright. I don't really know how to start, though.  
**_origamically:** Don't worry about it, I'll start.  
//the chat log has been cleared by _origamically//  
**_origamically:** (The city has once again been left devastated after another attack by the mysterious new 'hero', Lunatic. Origami Cyclone lies prone and injured amid a pile of debris.)  
**_oriamically:** B-Bison-kun... (Origami weakly lifts a hand to the hulking hero who stands in the distance. His voice is too weak to carry, he fears that he cannot hear him.) 

And now the other chatter stopped typing. Was that where he was supposed to respond? It seemed they were building a story. The format was simple. Alright! _I'll save you, Origami Cyclone!_

__**get_the_horns:** (Rock Bison hears something distantly behind himself.) Origami! Oi! (He turns to look for the help of the other heroes, but none of them are in sight. He's the only one who can help him. But that shouldn't be a problem with his strength. Bison runs to the fallen hero and lifts the rubble off of him.)  
**_origamically:** (A cough.) M-My gratefulness to you... de gozaru. I will be... forever in your debt for this. (Suddenly, he collapses back, his eyes shut tightly in pain.)  
**get_the_horns:** Hey! Are you okay?  
**_origamically:** I... It hurts. I think... they really did something to me this time.  
**get_the_horns:** What happened? Where are you injured?  
**_origamically:** (Weakly, he grips Bison's arm and tries to sit up.) I... I can't tell, de gozaru. My heart feels like it's going a mile a minute, though...  
**get_the_horns:** I'll call for assistance. I can't leave you alone like this.  
**_origamically:** (He puts his hand on top of Bison's to stop him from using his communicator.) No, don't. I beg you to... stay with me. (He leans his weight into Bison's and rests his head on his shoulder.)  
**get_the_horns:** You don't look well. I really should get help.  
**_origamically:** (Before he even knows himself what he's doing, he's pressing his lips clumsily against Bison's.)  
**get_the_horns:** What are you doing?  
**_origamically:** I... I don't know. That blast earlier and all that smoke... Maybe I've been drugged... 

No, he really wanted to know what he thought he was doing. You can't just kiss someone out of nowhere like that! And there was no way that Origami Cyclone would just suddenly kiss him. That kid was always off in the background being inconspicuous. He would never throw himself on anyone like that so blatantly. Now what was he supposed to do? Was that what he meant when he said that they were going to do 'ecchi'?

It was unfortunate that Antonio's mind had to remind him of why Kotetsu made him go on the site in the first place. He had wanted him to hook up with somebody on the site. _Of course_ something like that had to go and happen. Was Kotetsu's bizarre luck rubbing off on him in all the worst ways? Antonio was not going to hook up with some random internet person, let alone some kid who pretended to be Origami Cyclone of all people.

If it were the real Origami, then maybe he would be thinking about it a little differently. But, at that moment, he couldn't see himself going through all the way with the chat. He really didn't want to disappoint him (or her?) after they had come that far, but...

**get_the_horns:** I can't do it.  
**_origamically:** I know... But. Just listen to me for a moment, onegai. I don't know what's wrong with me right now. My heart feels like it's pounding and my head feels mixed up, but... Lately, I've been feeling mixed up anyway. (He leans a little more easily into Bison's chest.) Maybe whatever they've done to me is making me talk to you like this now, but I really do like you. I can't hold back how I feel now! 

What if Ivan really said that? It was weird because Antonio could sort of imagine it. He had that same clumsy way of speaking; a little bit timid, a bit of Japanese thrown in... Did other people even know what he sounded like? Maybe if they were fans.

__**get_the_horns:** Kid, listen. If you want to really get with Bison, then you can't stand and wait. He's a big guy, yeah, but he's also got a big heart. It's a heart that's worn and kind of old. It doesn't trust very easily. But it also has a lot of love in it.  
**_origamically:** Bison-san...  
**get_the_horns:** Don't hold yourself back out of fear. Go after what you want.  
**_origamically:** Then, I...  
**_origamically:** I'm sorry. Do you mind if I stop our chat?  
**get_the_horns:** Did I do something wrong?  
**_origamically:** No, it's nothing you did. Well, I mean.  
**_origamically:** Something you said there just made me realize that I've been acting kind of childish. I don't mean the RP. I just mean irl. There's somebody I like and I haven't even given him any indication that I like him like that.  
**get_the_horns:** Oh, I see. It sounds like I may have helped you a bit then.  
**_origamically:** You did, arigatou.  
**get_the_horns:** I hope that works out well for you.  
**_origamically:** Thank you!! I think I'll head off for the night now, so... Good night!  
**get_the_horns:** Good night.  
//_origamically has left the chat// 

Antonio didn't know how he did it, but it seemed he dodged a bad situation and somehow turned it into something very positive. Even if he hadn't gone onto the site and found himself his true love like Kotetsu had been hoping he would, he'd at least been able to do something nice for someone else. He could already imagine that user confronting the person they liked the next day to tell them about their feelings. It was a little too romantic-comedy for Antonio, but the thought of it still made him feel good nonetheless.

At least he'd have something to report back to Kotetsu with. He wouldn't be disappointed, right?

Ugh, tomorrow... The heroes would all be getting together, which meant he'd be treated to seeing how Kotetsu and Barnaby acted with each other now that they were... a couple? An 'item'? It still felt kind of weird. He really hoped that Kotetsu wasn't going to be reduced to a simpering, love-struck idiot like he was when he was with his wife. Come to think of it, how could Barnaby even put up with that? He seemed like the kind of guy who wouldn't enjoy someone hanging all over him, and Kotetsu was definitely clingy.

On the bright side, Antonio only had himself to worry about.


	7. Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: Kaede writes Barnaby/Mary Sue fanfiction, 'cause you just know she would.

**The daughter's side.**  
Lately, Kaede was beginning to think of herself as something of a writer.

During class, whenever she got bored, Kaede whipped out her pen and her special notebook and took to writing. It was a very specific notebook. She didn't want to write in her school notes because the kinds of things she was writing about weren't the kinds of things that she ever wanted her teacher to accidentally read. It was white with red heart stickers on the front and the pages were all red-tinted with cute kittens up in the corners. On the back of the notebook, she had written _This belongs to Kaede Kaburagi. Please return it if misplaced!_

While the teacher was talking about things that didn't make much sense to her – about science or somesuch thing – she was busily writing in the notebook.

After Kaede had been saved by Barnaby Brooks Jr., she turned all of her friends into Barnaby fans. He was quickly becoming the idol of all the girls in her class without her help, even. But to her, he was more than just an idol. He was her hero.

It was hard to get him off her mind, so that was why she was writing. In her notebook, she wrote about a girl named Karin. It started as a little story that recalled the time when Kaede herself had been rescued by the hero. Eventually, the story began to take on a life of its own. What started as a little thing that was made to preserve a memory began to grow in size and gained one chapter, then another, and another until it had become a sprawling epic of novel-proportions.

In the story, Karin was a girl who was a little bit older than Kaede; just a little closer to Barnaby's age. She had hair like Kaede's and she liked to wear the same kinds of things that she did. In short, she was a lot like Kaede herself, but she was capable of doing all the things that Kaede couldn't do. In chapter two, after she was saved by Barnaby, she revealed that Karin's own father was actually a superhero. Karin knew this, of course. Her father was a retired superhero, though. He retired so that he could spend time with Karin while she grew up. Then, when her father saw that Karin had been saved by Barnaby, Karin's father decided that it was time that he should take up being a hero again so that he could protect Karin.

In the following chapters, Karin's father became a mentor to Barnaby. He was such an awesome hero that he even overshadowed Wild Tiger and became Barnaby's new partner. The two didn't have a lot in common, but her father told Barnaby a lot about Karin and soon, Barnaby wanted to get closer to her and see her again.

Kaede never explained the whole story to her friends. Something told her that they may laugh at her for it. She knew that it was a little silly to be writing something like that... But she still really wanted other people to read it and tell her if they liked it. That was how she discovered the fanfiction section on the HeroTV forum site.

There were categories for each hero, which was perfect. After joining and checking out the Barnaby section, she realized that she had found a home for her story on the internet. Suddenly, all of her days at school during the week were spent counting down the minutes until she could go home and type up her chapters to post onto the forum.

The responses were a bit negative at first. It seemed that people already preferred to pair Barnaby with people of their own choosing, like the other heroes. To her great surprise, they even paired him with the other male heroes. She didn't understand why they would do that, but if she was writing about Karin with Barnaby, then it made sense that people would pair him with whoever else they liked.

But she really wanted to convince people that Karin was the one for Barnaby.

It may have been a bit selfish of her, but she really didn't like to see people pair him with anyone else. She had a few fans of her story, but even they seemed to like him with other people.

Kaede quickly started to notice that Barnaby was most popularly paired up with Tiger. Okay, so they were partners. But Tiger was a total waste of a hero. He was there when she got saved and all he even did was stand there. Barnaby was a much better hero and if he was going to be with someone, then why would he want to be with a lame old man like Tiger? She didn't understand the appeal of it at all.

Her horror only grew when she realized that Tiger was beginning to gain some popularity of his own because of these stories where he was with Barnaby. It was only because of her idol that he was getting popular. anyway. He didn't deserve that kind of attention. Desperately, she began to devise a plan to split the two apart in the forum's mind.

Except... how was she supposed to do that? They weren't together in real life. She was already doing her best to try to make Karin as appealing as possible. Reminding people that they weren't together didn't seem to be working, either.

_What if_ , she realized in shock... What if they really did get together after hearing people talking about them all the time? She'd scream and shred her notebook and she probably wouldn't come out of her room for a week. That was what she would do.

* * *

**The dad's side.**  
Being a father was hard work. One little vacation – no – _ten_ vacations would not be enough to make up for all of the time he had not been able to spend with his daughter. Being a hero was definitely an awfully trying, challenging job, but having a daughter on the side of that was even more difficult. Or maybe it was having a daughter with being a hero on the side?

No, it was definite the first one. Sadly.

“She'll forgive you, you know. If you told her that you were a hero, that is.”

Barnaby had his head pillowed on his arms, half of him laying across Kotetsu's chest. Kotetsu had one hand for his laptop which was out on his thighs while he used the other to stroke leisurely through his partner's curly locks, which were even curlier and twistier than usual since he hadn't gotten out of bed to fix himself up yet. Despite how cute he already thought he was, he wasn't prepared for how cute Barnaby was before he got out of bed.

Kotetsu sighed. “You think I don't know that? Well...” He chuckled quietly and used his fingernails to scratch behind one of Barnaby's ears. “She'd probably just get mad at me.” He put on a voice, trying to sound like Kaede: “ _Dad,_ you're a terrible hero! All my friends at school think you're _lame!_ Why can't you be more like Barnaby!”

“She likes me?” Barnaby asked.

“Hn?” Oh, what, he didn't know? Right, maybe he still hadn't figured out that she was the one he saved back then. That looked bad on Kotetsu, though, so he wouldn't touch that side of the topic for now. However, he could already imagine what a meeting between the two of them would be like. “Oh yeah, she adores you. From what I hear, she has pictures of you up all over her room now.”

The way Barnaby laughed in response sounded a bit too self-satisfied for Kotetsu's taste.

“Like father, like daughter, I guess.”

“Are you suggesting that we both have terrible taste?”

That comment received him an elbow to the ribs. While he was busy groaning in pain, clutching the injured spot, Barnaby rolled himself off the bed to begin dressing. All he had with him was what he had on the night before. It would've probably been a lot easier for him if he brought some things over to keep at his place so he could stay over and not worry about what to wear.

_Wait._ What was he thinking? They hadn't even been together all that long and he was thinking of dedicating a drawer to Barnaby already?

Barnaby's lightly muscled back and shoulders did a fine job of convincing him that yes, he really was considering that.

When Barnaby threw an icy _I know you're staring at me, old man_ look over his shoulder at him, he turned all of his attention back to his email and tried to pretend that he wasn't getting aroused again. The kid was going to be the death of him. There was only so much that a poor old man could do.

He had some new mail notifications from the forum. There were a bunch of new replies to that story he had posted, so he decided to take a look through them. It made him smirk to see that one was a positive review from _origamically. There were also a few comments about how his story sounded “true to life” which was, well... If it didn't sound true to life, then he would have had to reevaluate how he was perceiving his own relationship with the real Barnaby Brooks Jr. Aside from those, there wasn't anything really negative until he reached a comment from a name that seemed slightly familiar to him.

**barnabysfuturewife**  
_[story review]  
i think your writing was rly good but idk if barnaby would really act like that. woulf he really just tell somebody that he loved them so suddenly? i think there should have been more of a build up to that point. i'm not really understanding why ppl like this pair yet anyway tho. i'm going to add you tho, ok? i want to understand why people like it so we should talk sometime._

Hm? Oh, now he could kind of remember where that name came from. He saw that girl all over the forum, trying to convince people that Tiger/Barnaby didn't make sense. Did she know that it hurt the real Tiger's feelings? ...Then again, maybe she wouldn't even care if she knew that. Going by the username, it sounded like she had a fixation on the very man he was sleeping with.

He snickered quietly to himself. _Sorry, sweetheart. He's all mine._

Wow, that felt really weirdly good.

“Old man, stop giggling to yourself. It's weird,” Barnaby said, breaking into his fangirl-like thoughts. He had all his clothes on, save for the jacket which he seemed to be hesitating to put on. He looked at it and then threw it back onto the chair in the corner of the room. Did that mean he was staying longer?

He crawled back onto the bed and rolled over next to Kotetsu.

“Sorry, there's just this little girl on the site," Kotetsu explained. "I think she wants to be my friend so she can figure out why people think we're such an amazing couple.”

“ _I_ don't even understand why we're good with each other.” He pressed his nose into Kotetsu's stomach and wrapped his arms around his waist. “It's not like I even like you.”

“Mmmhm.”

It would do well to message the girl back, at least. Even though he knew it may be pointless to convince someone like her of why she should like something, she _was_ asking for it.

__**toratoratora**  
_[nice to meet you!]_  
_hi, thank you for your review of my story. I added you back now and i'll gladly try to help you see why people like tiger/barnaby._

_hm... personally, I think it's because they have an interesting kind of chemistry. Barnaby seems a little cold on the outside, but he's really very gentle inside. I think that since tiger is older, he can see that and he would want to help bring out that nice, warm person inside him. also, their age difrence is hot. I think that's something that everybody likes about it, tho._

“What the heck are you telling a little girl? Don't say something like that!”

“It's the internet, calm down. You've seen the site, right?”

Barnaby pinched him in the side and gave it a quick, painful twist that made Kotetsu yelp. “Where have your morals gone? Even if they see disgusting things all over that site, that doesn't mean that it's okay for you to add to it!”

“Bunny... Are you calling our relationship disgusting?” He frowned and pretended to quiver his lip.

Determining it worthless to talk sense with an old man, Barnaby sighed loudly and flopped his head back into Kotetsu's lap.

Moving along, he decided to check out the girl's profile while he waited for her reply. Her page loaded extremely slowly due to all of the gifs and jpegs she had everywhere of Barnaby. He hadn't even seen some of them before... They were pretty nice. He could admire his own partner, right? It was totally okay since he was dating the guy. That one gif of him jumping off a roof looked really neat. Why couldn't Tiger have things like that? ...Maybe he'd google how to make something like that later.

His eyes scanned her current posts which were mostly related to her fanfiction. He already knew that she wrote mary sue stuff, but he didn't let it bother him. Even if the topic of it was unpopular and kind of silly, it looked like she was a decent writer. The way she wrote in her private messages really didn't reflect how well she could write when it came to her fanfiction. He supposed that the two of them were alike in that regard. He didn't care what his typing was like when he talked to people, but he poured all of his love and attention into what he wrote about himself and Barnaby.

Now, what was her name? He had to call her something now that they were 'friends' and all, right?

_Kaede ♥_

So she had the same name as his daughter? That was cute.

_School: Sternbild Elementary_

Was there another Kaede that went to Sternbild Elementary? He didn't... _think_ so. He remembered how Kaede had actually been really thrilled about being the only girl with that name when so many of her friends had to tack the first letter of their last name onto their papers all the time. It would have had to be some kind of coincidence for her to even _meet_ another Kaede. The internet was a big place, but...

_I really want to believe this isn't my daughter. This isn't Kaede. Nope, definitely not Kaede. She's only writing about a girl who got saved by Barnaby and they only totally have everything in common._

“She... She kicked me out of her own fanfic...”

Barnaby snorted sleepily and picked his head up, trying to make it look like he hadn't just been falling back to sleep on him. “Huh? Haha what, did she write you out?”

“I think this user who friended me is my daughter.”

“Just because you were thinking about her before doesn't mean you have to get paranoid now. Not everyone can have the kind of coincidental meeting that we had.”

“I don't know about that.”

Now what was he supposed to do? It turned out that his daughter's love levels for Barnaby had gone off the charts and there he was, sleeping with him. All that superiority he felt before vanished when he realized that he was actually taking something _away_ from her. This wasn't just taking candy from a baby. This was like taking everything his daughter loved and defiling it in the most unholy way possible.

“What have I done...”

“Do you want me to get together with her? I'd do that for you.”

Kotetsu nearly flipped his laptop off his bed with his shock. “What's _wrong_ with you?!”

“I was joking. Obviously.” It was the deadpan attitude that didn't make it sound funny. It wasn't very funny anyway. Any parent would have taken that kind of thing seriously. But Kotetsu wasn't going to get too mad. Barnaby just didn't have the most sensitive sense of humor.

“What do I do about this...? Maybe Antonio was right. She's going to find out that I'm together with you eventually and then she's going to start wondering if I'm Tiger and then...”

“Would that be bad? Will the city be in danger if she knows who you really are?”

“I just... don't want her to ever be in danger because of me. I don't want her to think that I've been ignoring her.”

Barnaby shrugged, but kept his opinions to himself. His own childhood being cut so short, perhaps it was hard for him to say whether Kaede would feel like that or not. At least she had a father. But as her father, it just made Kotetsu wish that he _could_ do more than carefully keep an eye on her from a distance.

“Look at me, getting all glum all of a sudden. I need to get back to the real problem at hand here: that Kaede thinks we shouldn't be together.”

“Because she likes me.” He laughed and pushed himself up off the bed again, looking more awake that time and ready to finally get up. “Give her a break. She's just a kid. If she knew that it was _you_ who's with me, then maybe she'd actually be happy.”

“Huh? Me? I thought we already covered that she wasn't interested.”

“Yes, you. You as in _you_ , her dad, not Wild Tiger, the lame superhero that none of the kids like.”

“That was a low blow. I felt that all the way in my heart.” But he did have a point. He may have been 'joking' but he really wouldn't ever be with Kaede. Her crush on him was the purest of puppy love. If Kaede knew that it was really her daddy who was with her favorite hero, then it would be like she was practically related to him. That was cool, wasn't it?

“Things aren't so bad, you know. You both sound like adorable half-wits.”

“Don't you call my daughter a half-wit!”

Barnaby had ducked out of the room before anything could get thrown at his head. Kotetsu hoped that he was going down to the kitchen to make him breakfast.

As he made to close the lid of his laptop, a new message popped up in his inbox. Curiosity and dread arose in his chest when he saw that the message was from barnabysfuturewife.

**barnabysfuturewife**  
_[re: nice to meet you!]_  
_i don't get it. so like your saying that barnaby is cold on the outside? idk what show you've been watching, but he's always super nice all the time. he doesnt even lke tiger and they're always fighting with eachother._

_but i guess i see what you mean about the age difference. in my story, Karin is a lot younger than Barnaby, so it's kind of similar. i think that's pretty hot too._

'Things aren't so bad', huh? Yeah right.


	8. Too Much of a Good Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: OK I've just finish reading all those fills and is now my duty to request this
> 
> Keith forgets something in the HeroTV studio and comes back after hours. So he's looking for his stuff when he sees Agnes computer who was doing forum maintenance due to some glitches. He accidentally spot his name in a discussion about what "position" he should have, with some mysterious terms unknown to him such as "uke", "seme" and "slash"

“He what?”

“Like I just said, he claims it to be true.” Antonio shook his head slowly, still feeling completely in disbelief himself about the whole situation. Having a minute at the studio after a practice setup, it was his first chance to talk to anyone else about it – and he had been so eager to tell someone about it. “He said it was because of that HeroTV forum site that they hooked up. That's the power of the internet for you, I guess.”

“...You don't say.” Karina, in full Blue Rose costume, was lounging back against some ridiculous Barnaby and Tiger prop statue, looking like she was feeling awkward about their topic.

“Have you heard about it?”

She laughed and pushed herself off of the thing, nervously rubbing the back of her neck. For whatever reason, it looked like she was trying to avoid direct eye contact. “The site? Yeah. I mean, I've looked at it once or twice... Not that I care what people are saying about me.”

“I meant about Barnaby and Kotetsu being an item.”

She halted everything abruptly. “Oh. I thought – yeah, nah, I hadn't heard about that, that's pretty crazy!” Having a second to let the real topic of their conversation sink in, her eyes widened and she gasped. “Wait, really? I thought that was just a rumor! No way am I believing that, even if the old guy said it himself.”

Antonio chuckled to himself as he hoisted up his helmet under his arm and began picking up the rest of his things. “You can ask Barnaby for yourself when we all go out tonight. That one's bound to tell the truth. If they aren't together, he'd be the first to say it. Kotetsu was damn serious about it, though.”

It seemed like his invitation attracted the attention of another. Keith jogged over to them to join the conversation.

“Going out?” he asked curiously, still jogging in place, decked out in his Sky High uniform sans helmet. His cape flapped up and down each time he kicked up a heel.

“I didn't know,” Karina said. “Nobody informed me about this.”

“Weird, I thought everybody knew. Nathan told me about it. I already told Kotetsu and it seemed like he hadn't heard about it either.”

The other two stayed quiet.

“Nathan, huh?” Karina asked, expression going stern. “I see how it is.”

“What?” The two men asked in unison. The density of the two astounded Karina entirely.

“I'll let you figure it out. Just... make sure it's someplace that all of us can go to. Text me the details or something and I'll make sure that everybody else knows. I think I'll even be able to get Ivan away from his computer this time...”

Antonio gave her a hearty pat on the shoulder with one of his enormous metal-clad hands. She wobbled slightly. “I'll get right back to you about that, then. You take care!” With that, he turned and stamped off toward the dressing rooms.

Being a hero for TV required some practice and it often required them to come dressed in their outfits. She felt it was a bit unnecessary, but she guessed that it was like any other 'dress rehearsal'. Karina wondered how long it would be before she got to have another costume – not that she would give up the one she already had. Despite how opposed to it she was at first, she was growing fond of it. She just wished that she could at least have an alternative so she didn't feel like she was wearing the same thing all the time. Heroes were supposed to be recognizable, but it was starting to feel too silly.

Now, that internet business... That was something she was interested in. Antonio was saying that Kotetsu and Barnaby really _were_ together? She could only imagine the kind of fit the forum would've had if they heard. Although, there had been that one user who claimed to have a bunch of inside knowledge... Was he a paparazzo? A stalker? Could it be that it was really...?

“So I can come?”

Karina snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at Sky High with widened eyes. “Of course! You're included when I say 'everyone', you know.”

His curious expression was replaced with a smile. The feeling it gave Karina was akin to the kind of feeling she got when looking at cute animal cards in the birthday card aisle at the grocery store. How was one person so... so _pure?_

Now that she was mixed up in that internet thing with Ivan, she knew what an insidious business it could be. She prayed that an innocent soul like Keith would never become tainted by its nonsense. The forum was a trap for people who weren't confident in themselves. It wasn't a place for their king.

“I'm heading out now, too. I'll be sure to text you about where we're going later, alright?”

He nodded, grinning happily. “Of course! Thank you! And thank-... Aha...” He stopped mid-sentence and bit his tongue.

She sighed. It seemed that Keith still had a hard time escaping his own catchphrase.

“Later!”

Keith was about to follow right after her until he recalled that his costume didn't actually have any real pockets. That meant that his cellphone was still back where he'd left it and he wouldn't be getting any notifications about a fun outing with the others if he didn't even have his phone.

Where _had_ he left that thing?

It wasn't with his clothes at the lockers... He had to use it for something after he changed into his costume, so he had it out sometime after then...

He walked around the studio, peeking his head into various rooms, trying to figure out where it may have been hiding. Each time he looked in a room, he worried that he might be bothering someone, but everyone just smiled and waved at him and wished him a good evening. Keith didn't understand why everyone was so nice, but it made him feel good.

His search became sort of frantic until he finally reached the last room in one of the studio's unreasonably long corridors. And of course he immediately remembered where it was when he stepped up to the video communications room and recalled that he had it when he was talking to Agnes. Fortunately, there wasn't anyone inside the room, so that saved him from some awful embarrassment.

It was right there in front of Agnes' computer.

Computer... Computer... Weren't Antonio and Karina talking about computers before? Forums? Sites?

Keith was ashamed to admit that he wasn't very computer-savvy, especially in the type of age they were in where everything was run by computer. If he weren't a hero, he couldn't even think of how hard it may have been for him to find a job that didn't require him to know how to at least surf the internet. It was nice to hear that the other heroes were good at it. It sounded like fun.

Apparently it even managed to get two of his friends together. Well... That was what Antonio had said, at least. Keith didn't know if that was true yet or not, but he kind of hoped that it was true. He knew how much Kotetsu liked Barnaby and he could see how much Barnaby liked him too, so it would've probably made everyone happy if they were together. 'Two halves make a whole' and all that.

As Keith reached for his phone, he looked around himself and realized that he was alone.

Totally alone in the communications room. With Agnes' computer.

She didn't have anything private up, did she? It didn't look private. Up at the top of the page she was on, it said _HeroTV Official Forums_ so it had to be that site that the two were talking about. What was it, though? A page for their show? Were they advertising it? Keith didn't quite understand how that was supposed to get two people together.

It looked like she was logged in. _HeroLove_. A cute name, expressing her dedication to their show. That was just like their producer to always be showing her spirit!

Deciding that no one was going to barge in on him at the moment, Keith picked up the back of his cape and tucked it underneath himself as he sat down at her chair. He handled the mouse carefully and used the little rolly thing in the middle that moved the page up and down for him. His eyes continued to scan the page, reading, trying to figure out what he should do with it. It looked like he was on some type of list with words that turned into different colors when he moved the mouse over them. Was he supposed to click them?

There was a list of the heroes' names, so he clicked on _Sky High_ and it took him to another page. When that loaded, he scrolled down to begin reading the next list, which looked different. They had other users' names next to them, so maybe they were topics created by people?

_Sky High image thread_  
_The fans have spoken! Sky High is the top hero!_  
_sky high: a dream come true_  
_fanfic story time_  
_OMG THOSE ARMS!_  
_Archives of the loyal knights of the King of Heroes_  
_Romances_  
... 

Ah, the loyal knights! He was very familiar with them. They were his troupe of fans who tried to be in the area whenever he was on the scene. They took pictures and would stay around by the police cars waiting for him to sign autographs. Judging by the thousands of comments that topic had received, they must still be very active and excited about the adventures of their favorite hero.

But what he was really after was probably the thread below that, titled 'Romances'. Such a simple title, it had to have something to do with people forming relationships on the site, right?

He clicked it. It took him to another page. Keith started reading.

Keith got confused.

**blazinglory**  
_[Romances]_  
_Who do you think looks best with the adorable king of heroes? He's so cute, I think he deserves someone just as cute as he is, don't you think? I don't know which of the heroes I would pair him with though, honestly._

They were talking about him?

The other commentors went on to discuss their thoughts on his relationships with the other heroes. None of it sounded particularly peculiar. He already knew that they were all his friends. He just... didn't really think of any of them like _that._ Was that what they were trying to say?

**_origamically**  
_He strikes me as an uke. Wouldn't that be cute? ( ´ω`)_

'Uke'? How was he supposed to pronounce that?

**stophavingfun**  
_LMAO I COULD SEE THAT. HE'D DEFINITELY LOOK BEST BEGGING ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES._

**_origamically**  
_Calm your caps, dude. But I sort of agree in a weird way... But who the heck would you pair him with? I've paired him with Rock Bison in fics before, but... Well, I haven't shipped that in a while since now I think Bison would be best with Origami Cyclone. (#｀ε´#)_

**stophavingfun**  
_WHO FUCKING CARES. WHY DOES HE NEED TO BE “PAIRED” WITH ANYONE? JUST GET HIM IN A GOOD GANGBANG, SHIT._

**blazinglory**  
_You're just cruising to get yourself banned, aren't you?  
Anyway... Even if you sound like a total creep, you have some strangely decent suggestions. I love cuddly Sky High, but after origami's domination suggestion, that sounds like a real idea._

**_origamically**  
_I feel really bad for this, but I want to see him with Lunatic. Would someone write that or do I have to do it myself~? Lunatic as seme, of course. He could corner him in a dark alley or something and be like “You think you're so strong, don't you?” and then make him cry. omggg (ノ゜-゜)ノ I feel so bad for this but I want itttttt._

**stophavingfun**  
_WHAT THE FUCK. DON'T DRAG THE ONLY GOOD HERO INTO THIS._

**_origamically**  
_…I should report you for that. Can I do that? I know some people genuinely like Lunatic, but he isn't even a part of the show. He's just some guy who's been messing with them in real life. See, now you see why I feel bad, right?  
Anyway, I wonder what Lunatic is like when he's not flying around and shooting flames. Does he sit at home and drink wine and watch classic movies? I wonder if he's actually just a nice guy who's misunderstood... Maybe he has a lot of unresolved pain. Mmm backstory~ ♪_

**stophavingfun**  
_CONSIDER WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. WHAT KIND OF YAOI BULLSHIT IS THIS._

**little_lamb**  
_Calm the hell down. Enjoy your 24-hour global ban._

**blazinglory**  
_Thank you, sweetheart._  
_Back on topic, I think that irl Sky High deserves some love. Hm..._

**_origamically**  
_daijoubu da! Maybe he'll find someone nice and we can ship something canon. There isn't any rule saying that we can't ship a pair that isn't hero/hero.  
But seriously. He's an uke, right? Is everyone in agreement with this? It's unanimous, right? (´・ω・)_

Keith didn't understand why people were talking about him and Lunatic. He didn't even really know anything about him yet. And did they really mean romantically? ...No, not romantically, but... Something else.

He didn't understand all these odd terms of theirs either. Kotetsu was Japanese, though. Maybe he'd ask him about what 'uke' and 'seme' meant when he met them later. Then, he could also ask them who they pair him with. The real heroes would know better than people online! It would be pretty funny to see what they had to say about it.

He got up, dusted off his cape, and made sure he had his phone. That may have all been a little confusing for him, but now he was in the loop! Before long, he was going to be using the internet just like everyone else!


	9. A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: From "The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth":
> 
> toratoratora: i have it on good authority that he an Tiger r really together now.  
> HeroLove: AHAHAHA SERIOUSLY?  
> toratoratora: don't laugh i'm bein serious  
> barnabysfuturewife: lol he's lyging  
> HeroLove: Sorry, I didn't mean to sound sarcastic  
> HeroLove: But what's this "authority"?  
> little_lamb: Please refrain from wild speculation.  
> toratoratora: not wild, not speculation. just wait til you hear about it on tv.
> 
> ... So. Toratoratora. What are we going to hear about on TV? Someone wanna write this :)? And embarrass the piss out of Bunny?

__**barnabyfan67**  
[BARNABY/TIGER IS REAL LYFE!!]  
OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD, GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.  
HAVE YOU SEEN THE PHOTOS THAT PREZ HILSON POSTED ON HIS SITE THIS MORNING?  
SORRY ABOUT MY CAPSLOCK, BUT LOOK!!!! 

_[link]_

Ivan reached his hand into his bag of chips and pulled one out, then munched on it lazily. Vaguely, he recalled Karina telling him that she wouldn't be online because she was going to be at some kind of setup for the show or something. Shame. It sounded like somebody had finally found something good. He hoped it was something good-

Then there was spit and flakes of potato chips all over his screen.

He didn't want to trust that link at first. Any link to Prez Hilson was bound to lead to endless rage half of the time, but that time he really had something good. How had he managed to be the one with those kinds of photos anyway? When did that even happen...? It was _real?_

In the new post on his site, he had a photograph that must have been taken by the paparazzi. It looked like the picture was taken at night so it was a little fuzzy, but anyone could clearly make out the important details. The cameraman was on a street somewhere. There was a car parked alongside the road, and, in that car, Kotetsu (in his mask, that is) was leaning across the seat to kiss Barnaby full on the lips. And it looked like Barnaby was thoroughly enjoying it, too. The shot didn't give enough detail of the road to tell where they were (thank god, Ivan thought) because they were zoomed in close enough to capture the intense liplock.

Of course, Prez drew little white hearts all around their heads in a cheap paint program.

> _Look at these two disgusting lovebirds! Doesn't it just make you sick how cute they are together? Ugh! Trust me, ladies and gentlemen, I can hardly believe it myself and I was rooting for it to happen this whole time. Who knew I'd be so RIGHT?_
> 
> _On a slightly more serious note, I think it's great that we have a couple among the heroes now, don't you? It might mess things up for them, but who the hell cares? It'll make things SO much more interesting. I was getting bored lately anyway. SNORE._

That guy didn't spare any thoughts, did he?

Now, where should he respond? Not on that site, for sure. The comments there were already full of trolls and idiots saying how much they disapproved of it (when they were probably just jealous). The thread he got the link from was probably abound with 12-year-old fangirls talking about how kawaii they were together. He shipped it just as much as the next person, but then, seeing that picture...

What a nice reminder that he actually _knew_ these people. They were his _friends_ , not just characters for shipping. They were Kotetsu and Barnaby, not Tiger and Bunny.

His phone buzzed and he leaned across his desk, pushing aside some figures and a box of tissues to get at it. It wasn't often that anyone called him or texted, but it figured that it would be Karina. After she had discovered his true identity on the forum, it was like she thought they were internet nakama. Every time she saw some 'injustice', she felt the need to contact him immediately about it so that he could set it straight somehow.

_friendly get-together at Buster & Dave's at 7. b there or b square. everyone's coming!_

That was how all of her texts sounded. It was like her language stepped back a decade every time she sent one.

The place she was talking about was like when a family restaurant met a bar met a casino met an arcade. It advertised itself as being a place where parents could bring their kids when they wanted to have fun without having to hire a sitter. The only incentive Ivan had to go was the hope that someone would buy him tokens to play the games in the arcade. If he made some cute faces at Kotetsu, maybe he would give in and...

Oh, Antonio would be there, too. _Antonio..._

Did he really want to go? It was likely that the news was going to get wind of the relationship thing with his two friends, so if they all went out and somebody spotted Barnaby, it would probably ruin everything. However, that atmosphere would make it easy to take Antonio somewhere to talk to him alone.

_A-Alone...? I can't! I can't. Muri muri muri! Zettai muri!_

His heart couldn't take the thought of rejection. Blame the internet. Blame his social anxiety. He really liked him, but was the possible rejection truly worth it?

Instead of telling her whether or not he was coming, still feeling conflicted about it himself, Ivan decided to send a different text to Karina:

_u hear about the barnaby/tiger leaks? Seeeexy kissy photos! :3_

 

Karina didn't text him back for about a half an hour. When she did, all it said was “ _I can't believe it._ ” which was disconcerting in its own kind of way. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to interpret that.

 

He also still wasn't sure what he was supposed to do when he walked through the door at Buster and Dave's. That was all the information he had received from her, so there he was. Where was everyone else?

Maybe they flaked, Ivan thought as he walked through the ambiently lit lobby. They were really crowded and some little kids pushed their way past him to get to the token booth. In that place, tokens were used for everything from buying food to playing games to gambling, even, but he doubted he would be taking part in any of that if he didn't see anyone he knew. He was starting to wish he had done something to blend in before he even entered so he wouldn't feel so awkward.

“Ivan!” That voice – “We already have a table up in the restaurant. We were waiting for ya.”

Antonio... He was alone, which was great; there was an opportunity to just spit it out. And yet, doing something like that could also ruin their night. He didn't want to do anything stupid before he even sat down with the others.

Timidly, Ivan nodded and followed behind him as he led him past the bar and up a set of stairs to where the restaurant was. The sight he was greeted by was surprisingly normal on the surface until he got closer to hear what people were saying. They were seated at a booth and Kotetsu and Barnaby sat hip to hip in the very middle at the back of the booth. The other heroes were also squeezed in there looking somewhat uncomfortable as the table was assaulted by a group of kids, teenagers, and their parents. 

Barnaby, despite regularly looking like a total bishonen god for the fans, was looking like he had seen better times. Whereas Kotetsu, strangely enough, looked like he was having the time of his life, grinning from ear to ear.

“Alright now, alright, folks. Give the man some space,” Antonio said, entering the circle of children. With a wave of his big arms, they all stepped back and begrudgingly began to disperse back to whence they came.

Ivan shuffled his feet and stood nervously in front of the table until Antonio scooted everyone over more and made a spot for him to sit down next to him on the end. Ivan took the proffered seat, feeling his heartbeat rushing in his ears.

“So,” he said, “you all heard?”

Barnaby growled and jabbed a finger in the direction of one of the screens above their table that was playing one of the popular late night media shows. “After this nonsense? Yes, everyone has heard that Tiger and I are together.”

Karina nodded slowly, then, as if to herself, said, “There you go.”

“And this joker,” Barnaby said tersely, pointing the same finger accusingly at Kotetsu, “thinks it's hilarious that no one knows who he is right now.”

Kotetsu scrambled to cover Barnaby's mouth, which almost got him decked. “Don't say that so loudly! You don't want people to start wondering who I am now.”

Barnaby held his tongue and closed his eyes, shaking his head. There was a riot inside him that was threatening to come out. In his kind of state, one wrong word would've been enough to push him over the edge.

“What a party,” he mumbled.

“Just calm down, okay?" Kotetsu said. "We haven't even ordered yet. Just order something and... act natural. Then people will leave you alone."

He spoke a little too late, though. Even if the mob of people had left their table, there was another one forming off to the sides, within the radius of a few tables. Girls clutched their notebooks and cellphones and whispered to each other in hushed voices that added up into a nervous, buzzing roar.

It looked like Barnaby wasn't thrilled about people being all up in their relationship business. It was astounding that so many people had already been talking to Barnaby and hadn't connected the dots yet. Ivan knew how thinly Kotetsu sometimes disguised himself when he was “Tiger”, so how was it that no one recognized him as the other half of this pair? The other heroes didn't even act like that was the real concern. In fact, the table seemed more down about the fact that Barnaby's privacy was being invaded – or that now, they were all the group with the “famous friend”.

“This is awkward,” Ivan mumbled.

Pao-Lin kicked him in the shin underneath the table. He had almost forgotten that she was even there since she was so much smaller than everyone else. Between Nathan and Karina, it was like she sunk right into the seats. At least one of them managed to be unseen. Ivan was wishing he had stayed at home because people were still staring at their table and taking pictures with their cellphones.

“This is ridiculous. Let me out.” Barnaby nudged Keith in the side and that led to the chain reaction of Antonio moving over until Ivan was back out of the booth, letting them all move out so that Barnaby could escape. Kotetsu, stuck at the middle of the table still, sputtered like a fish out of water, unsure what to do about his boyfriend who was fleeing their table. Having to choose the only responsible option, he quickly ducked under the table and slipped out the other side to chase after him.

“Barnaby–”

The other three got back in. Keith shuffled himself over to the spot where Barnaby had been and Nathan filled in the spot left by Kotetsu. They had more breathing room, but the table felt too empty without them. Awkwardly, Antonio lifted his head and opened his mouth to try to lighten the mood, but nothing came out.

“This isn't quite going like I had planned,” Nathan grumbled.

“They'll be fine, don't worry,” Keith tried to assure them. “Kotetsu's the kind of guy who can handle it. I'm sure they'll both be back in a minute and they'll be as good as new.”

“That's not what he's saying, Keith.” Karina sniffed and glared over at Nathan. “If you had your way, it was just going to be you and Antonio over there.”

_Antonio again?_

“And the night would've been fine," she said, eyes narrowing. "Those two would've been at home minding their own business while the media had their field day and no one would've been hurt. Are you happy?”

“Don't act like I did this!” Nathan said, their voice rising dangerously.

Pao-Lin grimaced, stuck in the middle of the two who were arguing like children. Ivan was more interested in knowing what Karina was talking about. Had Nathan and Antonio been planning to go out alone? He hadn't heard about it. He hadn't heard anything about any of their plans until Karina told him. Had she interrupted something by inviting the others? Was she interrupting a... a date? But, more importantly, he didn't like the sour turn the night had taken. He couldn't blame Barnaby for a circumstance that was out of his control, but Ivan didn't personally have anything to do with it.

And neither did Pao-Lin.

“Pao,” he said, getting out. “Let's go play games, come on.”

She nodded and wordlessly crawled over Karina to get out of the booth. From the corner of his eye, he thought he may have seen Antonio's hand reach for him, but then the other two started fighting again and he heard him join Keith in trying to calm them down.

Once they were out of earshot, Ivan groaned loudly and jammed his hands in his pockets.

“What the hell!” Seriously, what was going on with that night? Why did he feel so depressed? And why wasn't Pao-Lin saying anything? “Are... Are you crying?”

She looked away from him and hurried to catch up with his pace as they headed toward the arcade. “No, shut up.” She rubbed the back of her fist against her cheek. “Just... Why is everybody fighting?”

“It's this stupid site...”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

It was nothing. It was nothing tangible, but it was what was ruining him and it was what was ruining Karina and who knew what kind of indirect effect it was probably having on everyone else. Maybe it was more than the site; some big overarching effect of the media on their lives as heroes – he didn't know anymore. But he knew that the HeroTV Forums had given him the hope that he could tell Antonio how he felt. And he didn't. It made him believe that Tiger and Barnaby would be a fabulous pair, the paragon of love and teamwork. And they weren't. As far as he could tell, they were still just as bad as they had always been. And it was fucking depressing.

They stopped at the token booth and he used whatever money he had in his pockets to buy them some tokens. It was only forty tokens for the two of them. At best, that was a half an hour.

He grabbed her hand and continued their walk to the arcade. He couldn't help noticing the slight tremble in her fingers.

“We'll play ParaPara.”

“I don't know what that is.”

“It's fun and easy to play. You can just pretend that you're punching someone.”

He still hadn't commented on the site yet. He didn't even know if he could ship it anymore for so many reasons. His heart felt like it had been broken before it had even gotten its chance. But now he knew what kind of comment he would leave on the forum.

 

_I'm not as happy as I thought I would be._


	10. Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: Whaat? No one's requested this yet after the last ep and all those awesome Hero TV forum fills? Well, I am.
> 
> Lunatic trolls the Hero TV forums. Hardcore.
> 
> Note: My original A/N was me apologizing for my possibly OOC Lunatic. idk you gaiz, I think this didn't come out so bad. lol

It had been yet another overwhelmingly positive day for Judge Yuri Petrov.

He couldn't remember a time when he had ever felt so liberated. It was funny in a way, but hiding behind a mask now was what made him feel the most like himself. While people worried about criminals and then worried about what this new fellow 'Lunatic' was up to regarding them, he was hard at work saving their asses. Felt good. Felt real good.

Of course, ungrateful ingrates would never know of his true identity in order to fully appreciate their savior, but it didn't matter to him whether he was pleasing the people or not. Truth was, it wasn't really for them. He couldn't give a damn. His father always said that he would have to look out for himself, so it was his way of going about that. It was a joke that so many criminals were allowed to slip past the police so that those 'heroes' could toy with them on their TV show as entertainment. Well, Yuri found nothing entertaining about that. How was he supposed to live and feel at ease in a city that allowed something like that?

If he wanted to feel like he was living in the best city, then he had to make it so. There was just only so much he could cover as a judge... and then he let Lunatic take care of the rest.

When he felt as though he'd sufficiently silenced a threat, he would let himself relax at home. Honestly, there wasn't much time he spent relaxing. Between his job and Lunatic's job, it was hard for the both of them to ever sit down and kick their feet up. But sometimes it felt like it might be alright, just for a little while, if the city went without his attentive watch.

On such a night, he would walk through the door, he'd loosen his tie, take off his jacket, and leave his shoes by the door. His briefcase would be left on the right corner of his desk. He'd come around the desk, open his laptop and turn it on. He'd slide off his watch, set it down next to the mouse pad, and then he would walk away while it started up. Back in the kitchen, he'd pour himself a glass of wine.

On this particular evening, he followed his routine to the T. In the kitchen, he spent a moment contemplating what to have for dinner, but after looking in the refrigerator briefly, realized that he may need to order out. Such a schedule left him with barely the time to go grocery shopping, so the selection in his refrigerator was lacking... Unless he could figure out something to make with three pickles, a head of lettuce, and some bread. A sandwich, maybe, but not one fit for human consumption.

Wearily, he returned to his work room and took a seat behind his desk, sinking gratefully into its plush comfort. At his laptop, he clicked on his browser to take him to what he considered... his new little 'hobby'.

He had no idea what it was. He didn't have a way to justify it. But lately... he enjoyed going to the site for that accursed Hero reality show. He couldn't spare the show one ounce of respect and he certainly wasn't anything of a fan of it. However, as his own kind of hero, it made sense that he should take any bit of information about the others that he could find and the users at the HeroTV Forum were just dishing it out. Many of them were even trying to uncover their secret identities.

He didn't really care yet about who they were in that regard. What they did in their private lives was totally up to them. All he cared about was what they were like as heroes. He wanted to know about his competition, even if he was confident in his superiority.

The site was fascinating, though. Aside from being a source of information for him, the forum simply continued to enforce his belief that the fans of the horrific show were mindless mouth-breathers. Girls posted pictures of the male heroes and fawned over them day and night. One thread could last days and receive thousands of comments and the topic could be as simple as what kind of _underwear_ the heroes wore.

That kind of fan involvement he didn't care about. They concerned themselves too much with the personal. It was frankly disturbing.

He didn't want to reduce himself to their level, but he was starting to find it difficult not to. That was why his obsession with the site was beginning to feel unjustifiable. It was an information source, yes, but not a good enough one to really be of major benefit to him. Then there was the fact that he took some kind of strange delight in the way the idiotic users agitated him.

It was their obsession, it was his obsession with them – all this made his blood boil and he was completely unable to keep himself away from it for reasons that he couldn't even explain.

Trying to explain it might have sapped the fun out of it for him, though, so he didn't want to think about it too deeply. He enjoyed throwing a comment into a thread or two each night to watch the users lose their shit over something he said. He was just stirring the pot a little, nothing much, but he was always able to send them into a fit. They were so easy to control.

Yes, it would get him banned from the site from time to time. Even they had their own form of police on there – who, he had to admit, were considerably more level-headed than anyone else. The ones who really deserved to get kicked were the regular users for their constant blithering to start with. Alas, he was only one man among a sea of stupidity.

Even though he didn't want to get involved with the personal lives of the heroes, one of their "personal" threads finally attracted his attention.

It caught him by surprise, in fact.

_[BARNABY/TIGER IS REAL LYFE!!]_

He went into it expecting to laugh at the fools who kept deluding themselves into believing that the two heroes were together. Those obsessed fans picked apart every aspect of their relationship until they thought that they _must_ be together. In every touch, every glance they shared, they thought they were seeing 'true love'. Yuri thought it was delusional, but, for the first time, it appeared that they had some irrefutable proof that even _he_ was floored by - perhaps more than them because he hadn't for a second expected it to be true.

They were right?

Even among the fans, there were definitely those who didn't support the pair (none more than him) and they made sure to leave their scathing comments about the candid photos. There were also those who did like it who just didn't know how to react. Their carefully, lovingly constructed mental image of what Tiger and Barnaby were like was about to be tested by reality.

And Yuri wanted to be the wind that would blow down their tent, the cannon to explode their fort, the dog to chase their cat...! Or something like that.

He just wanted to ruin their fun while their knees were wobbling. So he waltzed into the chatroom.

__**barnabyfan67:** I'm surprised, but so so so so so happy. omggggg!!  
**HeroLove:** I'm proud as hell right now, you have no idea.  
**little_lamb:** Of course you are. I bet you're the most excited person here. Congratulations?  
**HeroLove:** lollll THANK YOU! The show is going to be AMAZING now.  
**barnabysfuturewife:** ;__; guys...  
**barnabysfuturewife:** not everybodys happy about this u know...  
**HeroLove:** Oh, honeybee, you were never going to be with Barnaby anyway. You gotta accept it eventually.  
**little_lamb:** I sympathize, barnabysfuturewife. Try not to let it bother you too much. 

Time to crush some dreams and make some little girls cry.

__**barnabysfuturewife:** i don't wanna believe it. are u sure it's not photoshopped?  
**stophavingfun:** IF THAT'S SHOPPED, THEN I'M BLIND.  
**HeroLove:** Captain Capslock returns. Oh, great.  
**barnabysfuturewife:** u don't ship them, do u?  
**stophavingfun:** HELL TO THE NO. BUT YOU KNOW WHY YOU SHOULDN'T WORRY?  
**barnabysfuturewife:** why? ;n;  
**stophavingfun:** BECAUSE BARNABY IS A WEAK LITTLE FUCK WITH DADDY ISSUES. HE WON'T BE ABLE TO MAINTAIN A STABLE RELATIONSHIP EVEN IF HE TRIES.  
**little_lamb:** Do I ever warn him?  
**barnabyfan67:** Hey wtf. Don't start spreading lies.  
**stophavingfun:** NO LIES, JUST THE TRUTH. THERE'S A LOT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOUR "HEROES".  
**barnabysfuturewife:** you're lying! barnaby is a wonderful person!  
**stophavingfun:** HIM AND TIGER TOGETHER? THAT'S A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN. IT'S PATHETIC AND YOU SHOULD ALL FEAR FOR THE SAFETY OF YOUR CITY WITH THOSE TWO "PROTECTING" YOU.  
**barnabysfuturewife:** SHUT UP! you don't know who you're talking about AT ALL.  
**barnabysfuturewife:** DON'T TALK ABOUT HIM.  
**barnabysfuturewife:** I DON'T CARE IF HE'S WITH TIGER, OK. If Barnaby is happy then that's all that matters! who cares about the city? he should only focus on himself!  
**HeroLove:** Sweetie, don't pay attention to him. He's just trying to provoke you.  
//_origamically joined the chat//  
**HeroLove:** origami! Just in time!  
**_origamically:** huh?  
**barnabyfan67:** The troll is back. He's after Tiger/Barnaby this time.  
**_origamically:** Oh.  
**barnabysfuturewife:** oh?  
**stophavingfun:** BACK TO CELEBRATE WITH THESE LOSERS?  
**_origamically:** No, not really. I'm not as happy as I thought I'd be.  
**_origamically:** I think I need some time to think about this. Right now, I'm not... really feeling it. idk if I can keep writing about them.  
**HeroLove:** WHAT? Is it too real now for you?  
**stophavingfun:** YOU'LL SEE. THIS IS GOING TO BE A DISASTER.  
**little_lamb:** Well I hope you're wrong. Enjoy your ban, see you tomorrow.  
//stophavingfun has been kicked from the chat// 

Another day, another ban.

Was that a success or not? It was sort of frustrating-feeling, whatever it was. He recognized that girl's name and knew that she was probably Barnaby's biggest fan and had even been saved by him once. Maybe it would be hard to shake the faith of someone like her. She was still probably crying and hugging herself, though. That other kid probably realized how stupid it was by themselves.

But, he was satisfied that he had gotten something very valuable out of the forum that time. It was that whole development, actually. As far as he was concerned, everything he told them was true. Exposing his heart like this would weaken Barnaby further. He wouldn't have to worry about those meddlesome two getting in his way anymore as long as they kept themselves on their path to self-destruction.

And by the looks of it, the forum would be torn apart as well.


	11. You Can't Win Them All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: NGL, totally inspired by some awesome anon's comment in the latest Hero TV Forum-verse fic:
> 
> "Yuri hates yaoi.
> 
> ...This is perfect."
> 
> Yuri is either unbanned or comes back under a different username and is enraged to find that in his absence the forum has been overtaken by Lunatic/anymaleheroreally fics.

Why didn't they just permanently ban him already? Yuri didn't want any of their sympathy, if that was what it was supposed to be. He just wanted their site to see its own ruin, so why were those with the power to remove him permanently not doing so? It was a waste of time to make a new account and log in under a different name when all they did was lock him out for a day. He'd just go to sleep, go to work, come back and do it all over again anyway.

Did their moderators secretly enjoy his presence? Were they as fond of having an antagonist on their site as they were of having him on their show? He was in clear contradiction of their rules.

They kept him around.

They didn't know who he was, nor did they have to. They wanted him.

And for all of their anger at him, for all of his towards them, he wanted them, too.

On an evening like any other, he entered the site and logged in and was once again surprised to see that he was still able to. Perhaps it wasn't a surprise anymore, now that he had come to expect it. Was this what it was like to have friends; to talk to someone incessantly, get on their nerves, annoy them until they finally told you to leave them alone? Then, the next day, you would be friends again. That was how something like that worked, wasn't it?

No, he told himself. He didn't know those people. He only recognized them as a group. He never associated with any of them individually, nor did he want or care to know more about any member personally.

But that _origamically fellow was interesting nonetheless.

Yuri was aware of how long HeroLove and her moderator friend had been members of the site and it seemed as though that person had been there for about as long. He seemed to have a lot invested in the site. More than anyone else, he seemed to be aware of himself on the site, as if he were living _there_. While Yuri associated with no one, that boy was a friend to many.

When he came into the chat, sounding so torn about the Tiger and Barnaby debacle, it was like he had finally realized something that Yuri had known all along.

He wasn't there for Tiger or Barnaby or any of the other heroes. He was there for his friends. Without the interest he shared with everyone else, what did he have left to say to them? What purpose was there for him to stay? It may have been deeper than Yuri even knew, but from what he could see, he had lost his reason to enjoy the site.

For the first time since he joined the retched forum, Yuri felt bad for one of its users.

What reason did _he_ have for staying, though? None. It was nothing. He had absolutely no justification for why he kept visiting. He wasn't their friend and he certainly didn't like any of the heroes enough to post about them like everyone else did.

So what did he think he was doing?

_**stophavingfun**_  
_[FIX ORIGAMI'S SHIT]_  
_MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM? SOMEBODY MAKE HIM WRITE HIS STUPID STORIES AGAIN._

It wasn't for him. It was just that having someone else as level-headed as himself on the site made Yuri feel better about being there.

_**HeroLove**  
*sigh* Am I going to have to get little_lamb over here? Look, you can't just summon origami with a post. Just PM him if you really want him so badly. But everybody knows that you hate his fics anyway._

_Also, origami is a girl. idk where you're getting "him" from. lol_

_**blazinglory_**  
Never thought I'd see the day when the homo-hater would want the yaoi goddess to return. Things really have gotten weird lately._

That was undeniable; the fact that he hated yaoi. It was this thing that these people would write where they paired up the male heroes together. He didn't understand what the word itself meant, but did he care to find out? That was just one of their methods of deluding themselves. The likelihood of any of the people they wanted together actually happening was slim to none. It was nearly incomprehensible that one of their favorite yaois had become "real".

_**stophavingfun**_  
_I PITY ALL YOU IDIOTS. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN EVEN STOMACH THAT DRIVEL._  
_I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT ORIGAMICAL WHATEVER IS THE SMARTEST PERSON ON THIS FORUM. YOU'RE ALL WAY WORSE OFF WITHOUT HIM._

_PS: HE'S A DUDE. HOW DO I KNOW? THERE ARE NO SMART WOMEN._

_**blazinglory_**  
Part of me wonders if stophavingfun IS _origamically... You know what I mean?_

_**yukionna**  
origami's at home right now and he's ignoring the site. I think it's because of me... and all our friends irl. We had a fight and it kind of had something to do with Tiger and Barnaby in a way... But mostly, I guess we all have our own selves to blame. I don't want to get into anything too personal. I just wish he'd come back, too._

_**blazinglory_**  
yukionna..._

_**stophavingfun**  
I'D TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT WOMEN BEING IDIOTS, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU STARTED THIS SHIT, SO IT'S YOUR FAULT AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD._

_**_origamically**_  
_Shut up, I'm reading the thread, you know._  
_yukionna..._

Oh, so he was really there the whole time? It figured. Wherever he was, he was probably browsing the site and sobbing, unable to keep himself away.

_I'm sorry. I have a lot of feelings right now, a lot that I just shouldn't even say.  
Don't feel bad about what happened, okay? You just wanted everyone to be together._

_If it makes you feel better, stophavingfun, I'm going to keep writing. After some thought, I think it might be best right now for me to hold off on Barnaby/Tiger fics. (Don't worry, minna-san. You know I can't give them up entirely. :3c) In the meantime, I've found a new pairing. What do you think of Lunatic/Sky High? We mentioned before that Sky High really needed some love, so I think it might be time!_

What was he doing? What was going on? Did Yuri just jump into some alternate universe where people thought it was funny to do that kind of thing to him? Lunatic had gone untouched by those people, but suddenly their favorite writer was going to write about him? If he did that... then it probably wouldn't be long before the entire forum was “shipping it”.

_**stophavingfun**  
GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF OF LUNATIC, YOU SICK BASTARD._

_**_origamically**  
I kind of missed you. (＝ω＝) .•♥_

_**stophavingfun**  
WHATEVER. MY JOB'S DONE HERE SO I'M OUT. (YOU BETTER RECONSIDER THAT PAIR UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE.)_

Fighting fire with fire? That was just dirty.

He wouldn't forgive him for writing asinine fanfiction about him.

He was only going to allow it as long as he stayed on the site and stopped acting depressed.

That night, Yuri logged himself off. He'd be back to his usual thing the next night. That time was just... an exception.


	12. Keep Your Chin Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: A clueless fan sends Keith a link to a fanfic site. He decides he must comment positivity on every single one. Even the terrible ones.

What did people do when their friends were fighting?

Keith... wasn't really sure. That type of thing hadn't ever happened to them before. At that point, he was used to the little fights that some of them would go through, but things were usually mended before the day was done and everyone was happy again. He was hard-pressed to recall a time when the sun had gone down on a big argument that involved the entire group. And honestly, he wasn't even sure how he was involved in all of it aside from just being a part of the group itself.

From what he gathered during the situation, Barnaby wasn't happy about the crowds and cameras he was attracting. Suddenly, he was together with Wild Tiger, which, Keith had to admit, he saw coming a little bit. The way they fought was in the cute coupley kind of way – usually. The night before had been a really out of hand change of pace.

Ivan had seemed more agitated than usual. His face was almost completely white and little Pao-lin hadn't looked very well, either. He didn't think they had anything to do with Barnaby and Kotetsu, though.

Then Karina was fighting with Nathan because... Nathan had made other plans? That part of it involved Antonio somehow.

It was all so head-scratchingly confusing to Keith. The only thing he came out of it certain of was the fact that he was the only one without a direct connection to the conflict. At least, that was what he thought. He really hoped that he wasn't involved somehow and didn't even know about it. That would have been really bad if he was doing something and wasn't even aware of it because... How could he fix something like that?

As he kicked back and thought about it, he came to the conclusion that he needed to focus on the things that he could see from the surface. Karina was a teenage girl and Nathan was always fiery, so those two would likely simmer down on their own. It was difficult to determine what the problem was for Ivan and Pao-lin, but maybe a pep talk could help?

Barnaby and Kotetsu would really need some help, though. But what could he do? They were like the sun that all of the badness was revolving around and if they didn't make up then maybe the others would all stay fighting and then Keith... would've been all alone.

He pulled his chair up closer to the table and rested his chin in his palm, staring down at the keyboard under him with a forlorn expression that pinched his features together. It was a silly idea, but Keith needed something to cheer him up and there was nothing quite like talking with the fans to put him in a good mood. Capturing his bottom lip between his teeth, he scanned his eyes over the topics on the page until he found the site he had been to the other time where people were talking about him and writing stories.

_[The new and improved fic idea-sharing thread!]_  
_**_origamically**_  
_Okay, so now that I've made my triumphant return, I'm totally going to work on some Lunatic/Sky High like promised. I think that writing fics just has to be about the fun of it and I'm going to write a bit about them until I can mentally separate real life from fiction again. (Don't judge, man. You know you had a lot of feelings about Tiger/Barnaby turning real, too.) They're really unlikely to end up together irl, so that helps. It's all just fiction and for fun. But first! I have some fic recs. As much as I love shipping, I also enjoy gen, so here's some good friendship fics that I've liked. Feel free to share some other good ones with me!_

Friendship stories? Well, that did sound a lot like something Keith would be interested in. Even though the forum probably didn't know anything about what was going on with them in real life, they sure knew enough about them to write detailed stories about their hero personas. A good tale of everlasting friendship was exactly what he needed – and it looked like there were many for him to choose from. Origamically's list had at least twenty links on it.

_**stophavingfun**  
HEY I HAVE A FEW GOOD ONES WHERE THEY DIE, CAN I SHARE THOSE?_

_**_origamically**_  
_(When can I become a mod so I can remove him at will?)_  
_Yes._  
_I suppose you can._  
_But as long as there is intense, manly friendship happening before they die._

Alright, so Keith knew which ones he wasn't going to be reading. Did those really exist? Why would anyone write about them dying? That would be horrible. He didn't want any fans like that.

He recognized origamically's name from that time before. Even if Keith hadn't quite known about all the things they were talking about then, they still sounded very knowledgeable. He eagerly clicked on one of the links that they had provided titled “The Power of Friendship” and decided to give it a quick read.

The description at the top of the story sounded innocent enough, so he dug in. It was a story about Wild Tiger having a bad day. He got picked on everywhere he went and was about to give up being a hero. For a minute there, Keith felt really bad, but then the other heroes came through for Wild Tiger in the end. They all proved to him that they were his fans and reminded him that what really mattered was the happiness that saving lives brought to him.

When he reached the very last period of the story, Keith realized that he had a big smile on his face. The story itself was a little unrealistic and things worked out very easily for them, so it wasn't valuable as any kind of 'advice' for him, but it still helped to greatly lift his spirits.

Keith really wanted to give his thanks to the wonderful writer – but when he went to click 'reply', he was rejected and was sent to a page that requested that he sign up for the forum. Not a problem. After agreeing to the terms of service, he entered his username.

And then was told that 'skyhigh' was already taken.

Well, that was perplexing. He was the real Sky High and that was the Hero TV forum, so why couldn't he have the name? He relented by trying to add a '1' to the end of the name, but was once again rejected, as someone else apparently also had that name.

Fortunately, the site accepted 'kgoodman3958'.

_**kgoodman3958**  
This was an excellent story! Thank you so much for writing it. You've greatly brightened my day with your words. Again, thank you!_

Yes, that would do.

He clicked to the next one and found it to be another uplifting story about Dragon Kid. She had to go to a heroes benefit event and didn't have anything to wear. She wasn't comfortable wearing a dress, so Blue Rose helped her find a suitable in-between. That one reminded Keith a lot of the real Pao-lin and it made him wonder how the writers knew so much about them to be able to write such detailed, true-to-life stories. Such was the dedication of a fan, he supposed. Truly admirable.

_**kgoodman3958**  
Wonderful, wonderful job! You really captured both of them very well! I believe this story could have benefited from more Sky High, but it was fabulous nonetheless. Thank you!_

When he went back to the previous page, it seemed that the other user, stophavingfun, had given some of his own links. For a second, Keith was worried that they would be the grim stories he had been talking about before, but apparently he had given in to origamically and had decided to post stories with the theme of friendship. It looked as though the mod had edited his post to warn about any of his links that also included dark content.

Which narrowed the list of fifteen down to about seven for Keith. He didn't think he'd ever be in the mood to read a story where something bad happened to one of his friends.

The next story he decided to look at was from stophavingfun's list, but it was a little difficult to read. Perhaps the author wasn't as skilled as the others when it came to the technical aspects, but there was a lot of love behind their words. In its plot, Origami Cyclone was in love with Rock Bison. Try as he might, he couldn't figure out how to express his feelings to him until Bison was the one who eventually told him that he had liked him all along. It had a sweet ending, though it lacked realism.

From the little Keith had heard, he understood that the fans enjoyed making up fictional pairs. Even if he didn't think that the real Ivan would want to be with Antonio, he supposed it would be alright if the fans liked to make believe with their favorite heroes. The real problem with the story rested in the technical skills of the writer. At first he thought that it could have been written by a young fan, but then realized that his own attempts at writing such a story probably wouldn't have been much better. So for that, he had to give them some points. At least they tried and he was able to read it.

_**kgoodman3958**  
This was a very nice, sweet story. I'm not sure these two would ever get together like this, but you portrayed them very well individually. You should have more confidence in your writing! Thank you, and keep up the good work! Also, thank you!_

Come to think of it, that was a pretty decent read. Keith wondered why that user had suggested such a pleasant story when he was used to seeing him as the villain of the forum...

_**_origamically**  
That's cruel, man. I'm sure that anyone would feel good to see their fic being recced, but... Not on your list. You have really low standards, don't you?_

_**stophavingfun**  
THEY ARE MASTERPIECES, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THIS IS THE PINNACLE OF CHARACTERIZATION AND STORYTELLING._

_**_origamically**  
You just like reading shit. All of your bookmarks are shit. (Sorry to anyone who wrote one of those.)_

Those were some pretty strong words for a story that Keith thought was just alright. With a little bit of work, it could have indeed been a masterpiece.

Despite the common theme of friendship in the stories, what he really wanted to read was a story that was about something specifically like what they were going through. When the site obviously had so many stories on it, he figured that there had to be at least one out there that would suit what he was looking for. Those two users sounded like they were very familiar with the site, so he decided that he was going to ask them if they knew of anything that sounded like what he wanted.

_**kgoodman3958**_  
_Hello, fine citizens of the internet! I have a request for you._  
_You have read more of these stories than I, so I wish to know if you could direct me to a specific story._  
_I want to know if there's one where the heroes are all fighting with each other and then work out their differences. I would prefer something with a realistic resolution that isn't too convenient._  
_Have you ever seen anything like this?_

_**stophavingfun**  
THAT SOUNDS LIKE AT LEAST TEN FANFICS I CAN THINK OF OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD._

_**_origamically**  
[here] I think that's like what you want. I've had that bookmarked for a while. It's one I've read a few times. Now, uh... Yeah._

Right as Keith moved his mouse to click the link, his cellphone rang. In one smooth move, he pulled it out of his pocket, flicked it open, and held it to his ear.

“Yes? This is Keith.”

“Hey, uh... It's Ivan.”

Oh, Ivan! He really wanted to know if he was feeling better after the incident the night before. He had run away so suddenly and Keith never got the chance to check up on him again. “Ah, Ivan! How are you feeling today? You weren't looking so good last night,” he said, voicing his concern.

“I'm fine. Hey, uh, are you on the internet right now?”

“I am indeed! The internet is the future!”

There was a pause. Then, from the other end of the line, there came a long sigh.

“Hey, Keith?”

“Yes?”

“Don't get too wrapped up in the internet, okay? Try not to stay on for too long and don't take anything you hear seriously.”

What a strange-sounding lecture coming from a young person. Weren't all young people supposed to be addicted to the internet? When Ivan wasn't out with them for the show, he had heard that he was always at home on his computer, even staying up late at night on it. Keith just wanted to keep up with the times. But if that was a suggestion from someone who used it a lot, then maybe he should take it seriously.

Take it... seriously...

Ivan's concern had kind of come out of nowhere, hadn't it? That was suspicious.

“Did something happen with the internet, Ivan?”

“Don't talk about it like it's...” Ivan sighed again. “Yeah, kind of. Did you know that it was how Kotetsu and Barnaby got together?”

No, in fact, he hadn't heard that. Or maybe he vaguely recalled one of the others mentioning something like that... But Keith had been watching the news coverage on them and they hadn't said anything like that. It seemed like the public was assuming they were together because they made a fabulous team together, which Keith couldn't disagree with.

“I didn't hear about that. Is that what's bad about it?”

“Yes- Well... Not... really, I guess. They were probably happy together until the paparazzi caught them. I guess their privacy would've been compromised eventually even if it had nothing to do with the internet. Things travel really fast around there though, and one bad thing can lead to many bad things. Just be careful, alright? The less time you spend on it the better.”

Keith nodded, and though Ivan couldn't see it, he had a smile on his face. It was refreshing to hear such wise words from a young hero. Other kids his age could learn from him. If he spent a little more time out of the background, he could even become a fantastic role-model like Sky High himself.

“I will heed your words, my friend. Also, I hope you stay in good spirits.”

“I'm fine, seriously,” Ivan mumbled over the phone. “Worry about the idiot duo. Who knows how things ended up for them last night. I haven't heard a word.”

“Fear not! I've been looking into what can be done to fix this fallout. You see, that's why I'm using the internet,” he said, as though that would explain everything. “I have this story here in front of me about the heroes in a similar situation and I get the feeling that it might be exactly what we need to-”

Ivan made an odd sound and then it sounded like he was yelling into the phone – and then off into his room – then into the phone again as he shouted, “No, Keith-san, we can handle it ourselves!”

“I-Ivan, are you alright...?”

“I'm fine! Just remember what I said about not trusting everything you read online, alright? I don't want your life to turn into fanfiction.” Then he mumbled quietly, “Like mine has...”

Like he felt about many things, Keith was slightly confused, but nonetheless accepted Ivan's cautioning and soon their call was ended. After he set down his phone, Keith stared at the monitor and wondered if he should even keep reading now that Ivan had sounded so suspicious of certain things he could run into on the internet. It was just fiction, though, wasn't it?

Certainly a fictitious story couldn't harmfully impact his life in any way. They took him only a few minutes to read and that one was hardly any different. It was barely two thousand words long.

Like the summary stated, it was about the heroes getting into an argument with each other.

Then, they all ended up coincidentally at the same party and things were happy again. Alright, so for two thousand words, it did a lot and had to fudge some of the details to fit everything in. If anything, it was a lot like their real situation, except backwards. Although... It gave Keith an idea.

It was their get-together that had them all falling apart. Why couldn't another get-together bring them back together again? It was that simple kind of logic that Keith preferred. Instead of moping around about it, he was going to be the one to do it.

Sky High would... No-

Keith Goodman would save their friendship!


	13. The More the Merrier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: Pao-Lin is a great fanartist and does some great fanwork of the heroes for the internet!

To Pao-lin, it had been a fairly entertaining night, actually.

It only started out as shaky and horribly cryptic. What was everyone's problem all of a sudden? It all came out of nowhere and it kind of overwhelmed her as she sat in between the others at the booth and fought back unexpected tears. It just wasn't nice to hear them acting like that and she couldn't think of a single thing to say that would help them because she didn't really understand what was going on.

Which was why she felt thankful when Ivan had pulled her from her spot in the middle of it all and dragged her off for some fun distractions. The rest of the night was pretty good, to be honest. They played some water jet ski game and then that one that Ivan was excited about where she had to flail around her arms to hit arrows on the screen. She wasn't very good at any of it – horrible, even – but it had her laughing and it made it easy to forget that anything strange had been going on.

Ivan had seemed tight-lipped at first about why he felt so strongly about what was going on. She had heard him mutter once about something but hadn't quite caught what he was saying. Once she figured out that he knew more than he was letting on, she felt like she had to get the whole story out of him, even if it would take some bribing.

It took no bribing at all, though. After playing another ridiculous dance game, Ivan was slumped over the back bar of the machine, exhausted, and seemed more than willing to whine to anyone who would listen.

_“That site! The Hero TV Forum! It's like one coincidence after another where everyone I know is going to the site and these people aren't made for the internet or something, they're so stupid, oh my god...”_

After getting over the offense she took to Ivan calling them stupid, she realized that he really _did_ know the reason for why they were fighting and it came down to... the internet. As much as she loved her hero family, she had to agree with Ivan a little there. It was silly to think that they were all getting so fired up over coincidences made by a single website.

It looked like it was really bothering him, but she tried to help him use every cent of their tokens on games to make him forget about it. After four songs, Ivan looked too worn out to try the dancing one again (even though Pao-lin found herself to be something of a natural) so they spent the last of their tokens on games that would give them tickets and she walked home happily with a new stuffed Pikachu in her arms.

That night, she fell into bed holding her prize and buried her face in her pillow. After she left, she hadn't seen any of the others and assumed that they must have all left separately before her and Ivan. She wondered what they were up to and hoped they weren't–... No, she hoped they _were_ worrying about how the others felt, too. Fixing a situation started with realizing you had done something wrong.

That night, she was going rest a little easier knowing that she wasn't included in that. Ivan had done his best to let her know that she hadn't been responsible for any of that. It was all that site.

Inching up her bed on her stomach, she reached down to pick up the sketchbook she left on the floor. She flipped through pages of birds, trees, and portraits of strangers until she reached a clean page.

Did the other heroes know that she liked to draw? If this hero business didn't work out, she knew she would have her parents' full support if she chose to be an artist. She was very modest about her skill, but even she could recognize that she had a lot of talent when she won awards for her artwork. Those sketches of hers probably weren't worth awards, but they made for a nice hobby or, in that case, a good stress-reliever.

She picked up a pencil and let her hand do whatever it wanted that time. A circle joined another circle and then another until they began to connect and evolve into the shape of a person. Her thoughts drifted and her hand continued to move across the page until she stopped moments later.

“Ivan...?”

It wasn't intentional, but all of her thinking must have been what led her to drawing someone that very much resembled her fellow shape-shifting hero. Deciding to take it all the way, she gave his hair the necessary pointy waves out to the sides and gave him his usual frowny expression.

It was kind of cute. Why hadn't she tried drawing the heroes before?

After she finished Ivan, she drew Karina, then Kotetsu, then began drawing them all in their costumes. It was getting late when she finally put down her pencil and took a look at her clock, stopping only because she was starting to run low on lead. Even though it was late, she really wanted to share her pictures with someone, but she realized that Karina might get mad at her if she sent her a picture message so late at night. ...Ivan was probably on his computer, though, wasn't he?

...Did she have his email?

Rolling off her bed, sketchbook held to her chest, she moved herself over to her desk and sat down. She pushed a few books on the top of her desk aside and turned on her monitor, then leaned over and lifted the lid on the scanner that sat at the edge of the desk.

She scanned each of her pictures in her excitement, but still wasn't sure who she was going to share them with once they were all on her computer. Ivan's number was in her contacts like the rest of the heroes, but it felt weird to send anyone messages so late at night when she might wake them up accidentally. If someone was asleep, an email wouldn't bother them.

That site...

It was all just coincidence that some of them had gotten caught up on that forum, right? If she were aware of the coincidences and knew that other heroes visited the site, then... That made her exempt from having anything odd happen to her, right? That made some sense in her head. She was aware of the trouble it caused, so it couldn't affect her if she didn't let it.

It was just a fansite. It was official, but still just a place for fans. Pao-lin may have been a hero, but she was also a fan of the others. They were her friends but they had all won her over the same way they won over each of their fans' hearts. She would just be 'contributing', that was all.

Time to pick a username to post.

...That was always harder than it sounded. She already tried to resist using the same thing for every website she signed up for. She felt like she had to be more creative than that.

Something related to dragons would just be too obvious for her and she realized that people might get the wrong idea and think she was a fan of fantasy and medieval dragons if she was too direct. The last thing she wanted to do was give the wrong impression since people often didn't know anything about a person besides their username online.

It was easy to understand how the others had gotten so mixed up. She was there to find Ivan, though – and for that, she needed to have a name that he would be able to recognize as her.

Why did _Pika_ already have to be taken?

_Raichu_ was miraculously available, but it didn't feel personal enough.

Okay, okay – she couldn't spend _too_ long thinking about it or she was going to end up staring at the same screen all night. The name _pikapika_ sounded like a nice middle-ground. After winning her that Pikachu toy, Ivan would probably recognize a name like that.

Pao-lin browsed through the available categories and clicked into the ones that involved fanwork. For a few minutes, she looked at some posts by other people and was shocked at how good some of them were. All she had were a few sketches, but some people had posted things that looked like they had taken weeks to make; epic group images, paintings, highly realistic portraits... Even she wasn't that good. But for every few posts like that, there were many more amateur posts. Feeling more modest than before, she reevaluated her own work with new eyes.

Nope, they were fine. As long as she remembered not to post the things of them without their costumes on, then she was good to go.

So she made a new post.

_**pikapika**_  
_[New poster sharing some fanart.]_  
_Hi, everyone. I just signed up because I drew some things and wanted to share them with somebody. (It's too late right now to wake up my friends for that. lol) I love all of the heroes. I dunno if I have a favorite, so that's why I started drawing them all. Hope you like them!_

After her brief introduction, she clicked the button to add her pictures to the post, then hit submit. Thus began the wait until someone responded. Figuring out who Ivan was on the site would be her secondary objective because she just really wanted to know what people thought about her drawings.

She refreshed after a minute and was shocked by the response she had gotten. Not one, not two, but _fifteen_ people had already commented to her in just one minute. The next time she refreshed, she had even more comments. It seemed like it would be hard for her to read them all before she received more of them.

Most of them were welcoming her to the site – but some were thanking her for joining just so they could 'appreciate' more of her work. She frankly had no idea that others would like her art so much, especially after she had seen some of the other amazing artwork on the site. Hardly knowing how to respond to such kindness, she decided that she could start by making one reply for everyone.

_**pikapika**  
Wow, you guys! Thank you so much for your warm comments. I feel very welcome now. I have some more, so should I share them?_

_**blazinglory_**  
I've never seen such fine Fire Emblem fanart! I'm impressed by how fabulous you made them look – you really captured their true character. You should definitely draw more of them. (And Rock Bison, too. If you're up to it, might I even suggest that you draw them together?)_

_**yukionna**  
Wow... I'm so used to seeing people drawing Blue Rose looking like a slut. She's always given a really mean or sexy expression, but you made her look so nice. That's how I think of her, too. If you have more, you should definitely share. You're very talented!_

It was nice to hear that she was drawing them in a way that seemed realistic to them – although if she were being honest, it was because she really did know them in real life. From on the inside, she saw things about each hero that other people didn't get to see. The little nuances that were present to television viewers were much more pronounced when they had their masks off.

Pao-lin shared a picture she made of Tiger and Barnaby next. Despite all the drama surrounding them lately, she thought they made a very nice couple, so she had drawn them holding hands in their suits. Now that she gave it a second look, she felt like she should color it later. Their red and green suits would look really cute next to each other with the way she'd drawn them.

_**barnabysfuturewife**_  
_wow, you made barnaby-san look so good!_  
_i guess you made tiger look pretty good, too._  
_... i like him a little more now, btw. (if you couldn't tell, i luv barnaby A LOT and he's MINE)_  
_you made them look good together._

_**yukionna**_  
_Were you thinking of changing your name now, barnabysfuturewife? Because I'm pretty sure that Barnaby's future wife is Tiger now._  
_...I admit that I'm a little jealous for my own reasons, though._  
_But yeah, these look seriously good!_

_**barnabysfuturewife**_  
_no way, i love this name. maybe if i can't be his wife, then i can be his daughtr in the future? LOL I'd be OK with that. i'd get to see him everyday anyway then, rite?_  
_omg, pikapika, can u draw us them without their suits on? i know that somebody already asked u for something else but i'd love you foreverrrrr!_

_**pikapika**  
Wow, are you a mind reader? I was already drawing them like that. I'll post it when I'm done, so give me just a couple minutes._

True as she'd said, she already had her sketchbook opened to an unfinished picture of Kotetsu and Barnaby together without their masks on. After just a few more minutes, she had the rest of the details done sufficiently and it was ready to be seen by the eyes of her new adoring fans. It felt kind of good to know that people could appreciate her art and appreciate her as a hero. Now if only she could get them to do it at the same time...

Well, that was an endeavor for another day. For the moment, she posted her fanart of Tiger and Barnaby and waited for the other forum-goers to comment.

_**blazinglory_**  
You made Handsome look so handsome! Excellent job, but... I think you may have forgotten something._

_**barnabysfuturewife**  
where's Tiger's mask? lol i know i asked for them without their suits on, but you forgot to put Tiger's mask on him. without his mask, i think u made him look a lot like my dad. haha that's so WEIRD. (omg then i'd be related to barnaby!!! LOL one step closer to my dream??) good job anyway, tho_

_Oh my god,_ she thought, realizing with horror that she had in fact forgotten to draw the little mask that Kotetsu wore in public when he was out of his suit. When she heard them say “out of their suits” she thought of what they looked like when they were just their normal selves and it totally escaped her mind. It especially didn't help that Barnaby didn't even hide his identity, so it was easy to get it mixed up.

Aside from that little blunder, people wouldn't really know what the heroes looked like without their suits on, right? It was perfectly fine for her to post something like that because it was just a drawing and nobody would assume that she really knew what they looked like...

_**pikapika**  
You're right! Oops! It's just a minor detail though, it was easy to forget it. I wonder if that's what Tiger looks like when he isn't wearing his mask? My hand just moved on its own. That's funny that he reminds you of your dad._

_Oh my god,_ she thought again. Didn't... Kotetsu... have a daughter? Was it possible that someone she was talking to really _did_ know what he looked like? It was ridiculous to imagine, but it was a small world and that was what Ivan had tried to explain to her – that forum _attracted_ unbelievable coincidences.

But at least she knew that now. As long as she didn't tempt fate, then she didn't have anything to worry about.

_**yukionna**_  
_You're right, if you took off the mask, that's probably what he would look like._  
_I wonder, could you draw what you think the others look like? Other people have tried but I always think they're wrong. Of course, I'm especially interested in seeing your take on the real life identity of Blue Rose._

Hello, fate, stop tempting Pao-lin. Did they _know_ that she knew what they looked like? That was crazy, though. There were some other heroes visiting the site, but there wasn't any way that they would request something like that themselves, especially when they knew that it could reveal their identities. ...Unless they really did think that she was just some fan with a good sense for what they might look like.

Now what was she supposed to do? Pretend that she _didn't_ know? She would have to draw them slightly differently, otherwise her pictures of them would be perfect depictions of what they really looked like and then that would cause all kinds of trouble and things were already getting out of hand – so out of hand!

Why was she doing this? It was like she was _compelled_ by some force outside of her own will and couldn't stop her hand as she hit submit and showed them what she thought Blue Rose would look like.

That is, her fanart of Karina Lyle. This wasn't even _fanart_ anymore.

_What am I doing? I'm totally falling into this site's trap. I'm just going to make things worse for everybody if I do this. The only thing worse I could do is post photos of the real people!_

The next thing she knew, there was a message waiting for her in her inbox upon her next refresh.

_Welcome to the forum_  
_**origamically**_  
_Hey, Pao, how are you? Having a good night? That's nice._

_Yeah, so what the hell are you doing?_

She immediately had to reply.

_Re: Welcome to the forum_  
_**pikapika**_  
_Oh my god, Ivan, I am SO sorry. I had no idea that this would happen. All I wanted to do was show my art to people and now this is what happened! Are we going to get in trouble? I don't want Karina to get mad at me. I'm going to go delete that picture before anybody else can see it._

_Seriously, I am SO SORRY. I know you tried to warn me, but I didn't think that something this stupid would happen. I don't even know why I let myself do that. I just got so happy when people were complimenting me._

True to her word, she went back to her post... and found that it was unavailable. The page was just... gone. Deleted.

Then another message showed up in her inbox.

_About your post..._  
_**yukionna**_  
_I think the mods deleted it... Um..._  
_You DO know who the heroes really are, don't you? I saw your new picture before the post was deleted and I'm just wondering if you really... do know them? I mean, it just seems fishy to me that they would delete it. (I suggest making a new post, btw. Don't let that discourage you.)_

_Re: About your post..._  
**_pikapika_**  
_I know this is going to sound crazy, but can I ask if you're Blue Rose? I don't know how you would prove it to me, but if you give me some kind of proof then I'd be able to tell for sure. I've just heard recently that the heroes all go to this site._

She decided that her message didn't sound too suspicious. After rewording it a few times, she decided that less was more in this case. Trying to say too much would just out her if that person wasn't really Karina, but her name and her interest in the 'real' Blue Rose seemed pretty close to how Karina would act. It was a shot in the dark, though. Out of so many users, it seemed impossible that she would run into her. Then again, Ivan had already figured it out just by seeing her art.

...He was the one who got the post deleted, wasn't he? Well, at least he had gotten to it quickly.

Before any new messages came, her phone started vibrating. She picked it up and noticed that there was a new text waiting for her.

_Nice artwork._

It was from Karina. She shot back a text:

_oh man i feel so stupid_

Pao-lin's forehead met the top of her desk. When she finally picked up her head, there was another message in her inbox. Groaning, she clicked on it.

_Re: About your post..._  
**_yukionna_**  
_lol yeah, I know that you're also a bit of an artist. I was wondering if it was you as soon as I saw that picture of 'Tiger' without his mask on. Only one of us could make that kind of mistake._

_Re: About your post..._  
**_pikapika_**  
_Ivan warned me about this site. I should've believed him when he said that it made us do crazy things. Did you know that this site is why Barnaby and Kotetsu were fighting? I love the attention, but I think I'm going to stay away from here for now._

_But... you liked how I drew you?_

_Re:About your post..._  
**_yukionna_**  
_Yes! I wish that everyone could see me like that. It was really flattering. I doubt that anybody was fast enough to save it, but even if they did, I don't think they'd figure out that it was really a picture of ME. Just go make a new post and say that you accidentally deleted your first one or something, otherwise it would be too suspicious for you to just leave now. I think that the mods are heroes too, btw. Or if they aren't heroes, then they're definitely people who work for Hero TV. I think Ivan's working on figuring out who they are so he can become a mod himself. lol_

That sounded like a very Ivan-thing for him to do, alright.

As Karina suggested, Pao-lin made a new post and apologized for 'accidentally' deleting the previous one, then posted all of her previous pictures in it and told them that she was going to call it a night (lest something else happen). The next day would be a good day. Surely, something good was bound to happen. She refused to believe that her luck could get any worse after encountering the universe-altering powers of that website. Fortunately, she had made it out of that mess of a site without causing any more problems herself and for that, she was glad. Now she understood their situation firsthand and didn't have to feel guilty about any of it herself.

But as Pao-lin laid down to sleep that night and tucked her cheek against her pillow, she couldn't escape the feeling that her presence on the site had already altered something...


	14. Don't Let the Sun Go Down on an Argument

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: The heroes find this kink meme.
> 
> What do they think about these delicious requests?!  
> Do they get in on the fun? Or maybe even make requests themselves?  
> Bonus points if someone gets caught reading porn.

Bored.

So bored.

It was surprisingly tough to make it look like he was doing something, so Kotetsu kept shuffling things around on his desk to make it seem like he was busy. If the papers kept changing position, then that meant that they were being looked at. At the same time, he was pretty sure he had just scanned and deleted and rescanned the same paperwork about seven times just so he didn’t have to get up to work on anything new. The paperclips were also now arranged into something of a fort or hotel or whatever his imagination was going to decide it was next.

All the while, he kept trying to avoid Barnaby’s eyes. Though, he wondered if he had to avoid him at all when it seemed like Barnaby didn’t even want to pay attention to him. In fact, if Kotetsu wasn't mistaken, it was almost as if he was doing everything in his power to avoid him instead. The whole mess was dragging on for too long. Spending two nights in bed without him was too long. Maybe something like that was fine for Barnaby, but that wasn’t something Kotetsu wanted to experience. That missing warmth really meant something to him...

Normally, it would have been so easy for him to burst out with something at him, but now that they were together, he cared even more about how Barnaby would react to his concern. And, well, that certain concern concerned the both of them. And there wasn’t really anything he could say except, “Hey, let’s stop fighting!”

Wait, it _was_ a fight, wasn’t it? ...Like a real, honest-to-goodness fight where two people stopped talking to each other. It wasn’t one of their usual ones where they did that and then recovered an hour later. That kind of moment passed at least forty-eight hours ago when Barnaby stormed off and left in his own car and left him standing in the lot at Buster and Dave’s. Stupidly, he had expected Barnaby to have a change of heart, so he waited.

Except he hadn’t come back. He fled and Kotetsu wasted a good hour before he finally accepted that Barnaby was mad enough to never turn around.

Was he still that mad? The expression behind his glasses was stony and intense as he focused intently on his monitor, his hands flying over the keys while he typed. Just from the sounds happening on his side of the desk, keys clacking, staples being punched, one could tell that more work was happening on his side compared to Kotetsu’s.

Frustrated, Kotetsu picked up his stack of scanned-deleted-rescanned papers and shuffled them, then pounded the edge of the stack against his desk loudly to straighten them out. He glared directly in Barnaby’s direction, wanting to have his attention, suddenly wanting an apology or anything, but he looked away immediately and his heart sunk when Barnaby looked at him with daggers in his eyes and a growl on his lips.

“S-Sorry... I’ll be quiet,” he mumbled, trying to sound like he was apologizing for the noise he made with his papers.

That wouldn’t do. He was really going to have to find the right thing to say soon if he didn’t want his poor heart to endure any more of that cruel, cold treatment. If he bought him lunch, then maybe he would talk to him. Oh, no wait, he already tried that and it hadn’t worked as he’d planned. Or maybe Barnaby just didn’t enjoy Chinese carryout as much as he expected.

He wasn’t going to worry about it anymore. At least, that was what he was going to try to do as he went back to staring at his own monitor. It was a vicious circle of him ignoring Barnaby, Barnaby ignoring him, and he was starting to find it pointless to even pretend to be working when it was obvious how much attention he was actually still paying him. If he wasn’t going to keep pretending to work, then he was just going to use the internet and wait until he could leave.

Kotetsu wasn’t quite the internet kind of person, though. When he wanted to waste time, he did it by sitting in front of the TV or by going to the stove to make some food. There in the office where he was trapped, unable to busy himself in either of those ways, the internet was like his only portal to another place, whether it was a place for him or not.

At least they didn’t really know who he was. Except for Barnaby. He'd found out his username. If he caught him posting on the Hero TV Forum again, he would probably kick him straight out of the room.

So... He just wouldn’t post anything. That would be alright, right?

They had about two hours left to work, which meant that he had to find something that could occupy that much time. The fanfiction section was an obvious place to check out - and one of his only options when he was trying to do everything he could to keep himself from looking at the photos board. Knowing the internet, they already had pictures of him and Barnaby walking into work separately and were probably furiously speculating up a storm about that fact.

It didn’t mean anything. It just meant that they were... having a little fight.

He glanced back to his partner whose typing had slowed. He had his eyes looking elsewhere like Kotetsu expected, quietly reading one of the packets next to his keyboard. His face was losing a bit of its intensity. Kotetsu wondered if he was hungry...

Later. After work, he’d try to be a gentleman about it and invite him out to lunch so they could start over properly. Hasty, sloppy frotting on their desks was probably not the best way to begin their relationship, he realized. As much as his hand burned to guide his mouse toward the photo section of the forum, he also realized that he wouldn’t be helping their situation by even dignifying the petty speculation with his time and thoughts.

Origamically had posted a new story; something short that sounded a little strange about Lunatic and Sky High. He wasn’t really into that, but if origamically wrote it, then it was probably worth reading - but since he had a lot of time, he wanted to find something longer that could hold his attention. Finally, HeroLove also had something new up. And it was about him and Barnaby.

_Oh wonderful,_ he thought, giving his monitor an eyeroll. Just from the summary, he could tell that she was capitalizing on their fight already. It was... _nine chapters already?_ Nine chapters was a lot. What was she doing, staying up all night to crank it out? That was ridiculous and frankly kind of offensive and from what he could tell immediately from its summary, it didn’t sound like it would have a happy ending. Once he got things patched up with Barnaby, he was going to make sure to rub some lovey photos of them in her face.

He really did hope that there would be lovey photos to look forward to. For the moment, there wasn’t much he could do aside from lunge desperately at him from across the desk and that would most likely get him punched in the face or thrown from the room.

Thankfully, it looked like there was a new thread to distract him - one started by a user he hadn't heard of. It was quickly gaining popularity.

[kink meme discussion post]

What the heck was a ‘kink meme’ and why were there so many people talking about it? He scrolled down through the thread and tried to read what they were saying, but none of it made sense when he didn’t understand what it meant to start with. Thankfully, there was a link at the top. He clicked it to get to the main attraction.

The link led him to a different site that was separate from the forum. Toward the top were a set of rules that helped to explain what it was.

_**RULES** _

► _Request anonymously. Or not. It's really up to you._  
► _Clearly state the character or pairing you wish to request, along with a prompt._  
► _Fics can be anywhere from G to NC-17, as short or long as you wish._  
► _Requests may be filled with fanart._  
► _One request per comment._  
► _Requests can be filled more than once._

From the abrupt and succinct rules, it sounded like a kink meme was something that a lot of people online were familiar with. Like usual, Kotetsu felt out of the loop, but he liked the potential that it had. Obviously, it was a place to request stories, which meant there was bound to be a lot for him to read and then he may have even had the opportunity to ask for something he’d like to read. From the sound of it, it could be as explicit as he wanted it to be, too.

He gave a glance at Barnaby again and licked his lips.

_Twenty-three pages of requests?_ Wow, the fans of Hero TV were really enthusiastic. No wonder there were people who got so into writing fanfiction when it was so popular. He had a feeling it was popular, but seeing the overwhelming attention on the post really made that clear.

Reading through, he took a look around to see what was being requested in general. The first page just confirmed how popular Blue Rose was and _boy_ did some people want to see her doing some highly indecent things... Tentacles? Gangrape? Were they being serious? If they only knew what a sweet girl Karina was, he doubted that they would want her to- No... No, he knew better than to underestimate the minds of perverts.

Barnaby was a popular hero in their requests, but that was to be expected. He was young, handsome, scored well on the ranking... And why the hell were they pairing him with everyone? That was _not_ okay with Kotetsu. Though... He sort of enjoyed the thought of some of them. He didn’t even know why tentacles were so popular, but picturing Barnaby getting overwhelmed by a sexually-charged super monster with suction cups on multiple wet, slimy tentacles made for a surprisingly great mental image, especially when Kotetsu thought about how it would be to rescue him from such a monster.

He liked that kink meme thing suddenly. Those people had the right idea.

Without question, the more he looked through, he recognized that Sky High was the most popular. It figured since he was the King of Heroes and all that. Now, by the looks of it, he was also the King of Porn. He would never wish a vicious rape upon Keith who was one of the gentlest people he knew, but those anonymous requesters had a thing for wanting to see him begging and crying. Maybe it was a power fetish; seeing someone in power reduced to begging for their release - or their life.

As long as they were anonymous, then it probably didn’t matter what any of them were asking for. Kotetsu himself could request something and know that no one would know it was him.

There was even, strangely enough, a story about the Hero TV Forum itself and what it would be like if the heroes visited it. The requesters really thought of everything. It wasn’t like they were hurting for ideas, but the story about the forum was rather long. If he didn’t find anything else that jumped out at him, then maybe it would be amusing to read that. It was certainly long enough to occupy the rest of his time at work.

He knew exactly what the meme was missing, and that was more _Tiger_. Where was the love for the veteran hero? He thought that people were starting to like him now that he and Barnaby were together? There had been a noticeable shift in opinion once they started going out. If he wasn't mistaken about the identity of barnabysfuturewife, even his own _daughter’s_ posts about Tiger were starting to sound more favorable and he knew what a harsh critic she was when it came to the two of them.

Wondering what was going on with that, he flipped quickly to the last page and decided to read what the new requests sounded like.

Yeah...

_**sobbing in the rain**  
I want something heartbreaking, anons. Make me cry! Barnaby leaves Tiger and the duo starts to suffer from it until it effects their work. What kinds of problems does this cause for them? Take it from there!_

_**s s s s m m**  
Barnaby asserting himself over Tiger, getting some payback for his heartbreak. Non-con preferrrred._

_**MAKE ME LOL**  
LOL YOU’RE ALL SMALL TIME. I WANT A FIC WHERE THE DYNAMIC DUO DIE AND THEN ALL THE OTHER HEROES ARE LEFT HELPLESS BECAUSE THEY SUCK WITHOUT THEM._

While the last one sounded like it came from a certain familiar user who didn’t even need to bother concealing his identity, Kotetsu wondered what kinds of people the other users were who wanted to see them suffer. It wasn’t just them, as there were many other requests regarding their recent struggle in the media spotlight. What he was really hoping to see were requests where they got back together happily, but it looked like people were _enjoying_ their pain. Feeling frustrated by that, Kotetsu decided to make his own request.

It was nice that he didn’t have to sign up for anything in order to make an anonymous comment. All he had to do was click the comment button, and...

What a pointless thing to do, he realized. Or...

He took another glance toward Barnaby who hadn’t stopped working. What he wanted to request wasn’t a fanfic. He wanted the anons to make things better for them again, and if wishful writing were all that it took, then he would have wrote about it himself. He couldn’t think of a single thing that could be done realistically to solve anything because even if he made Barnaby feel better, the paparazzi were going to be waiting outside their door, ready to make things spiral right back into chaos all over again.

A pen was set down, some papers shuffled and straightened with a temperamental sigh.

“Old man.” _Ow._ “You had better not be on that site. If you have the time for that, then you have the time to at least be pretending to be busy.”

Kotetsu’s fingers froze over his keys and he shot Barnaby a puzzled deer-in-the-headlights look. Since when was he watching what he was doing? Did he have special glasses that gave him super peripheral vision?

“I’m not on the forum, thank you very much,” he replied, not exactly lying. “I’m trying to decide where we can go together after work.”

“Together?” Barnaby laughed, standing up from his desk. “Don’t assume that I’ll be going _anywhere_ with you.”

“Hey,” Kotetsu said, cutting right into the last breath of Barnaby’s sentence, his voice suddenly serious. “I’m... sorry about the other night. I know I didn’t really listen when you said you were bothered by what happened. I understood that much, but I don’t have anything that I can say that will change the fact that people are interested in us. So...”

“Get where you’re going with this. I was just leaving the room.”

“What is it about the attention that bothers you so much? How is it different from the attention we already had? People with cameras have been invading your privacy for a while now to start with.”

Barnaby’s fingers tightened on the edge of the stack of papers he was holding. His eyes narrowed and he turned around and started walking toward the door. “You’ve got the hammer, you’re holding the nail, but you still managed to totally miss it. I can’t believe I need to explain it to you.”

Before Kotetsu could even ask him what the hell that was supposed to mean, Barnaby was gone again. So much like a rabbit, always fleeing when he got embarrassed or nervous.

...Kotetsu suddenly got the distinct impression that he may have been on to something with that thought. Whatever the explanation was, it was something that made Barnaby too embarrassed to admit out loud. Unfortunately, it was probably something extremely abstract and Barnaby had to realize that his partner wasn’t the brightest lightbulb, especially when it came to things that he thought ‘should be obvious’.

It was starting to give him a serious headache, but Kotetsu wanted to figure it out before Barnaby got back. He was going to get dinner that night and he was damn well determined to bring Bunny along with him.

He doubted the forum’s ability to help him solve this problem, but there was a thread currently going on the kink meme that was discussing the situation of their current media storm.

_anonymous_  
**_fluff time?._**  
_Everybody’s still losing their shit and stuff, but I really just want good old fashioned Barnaby/Tiger. (Or vice versa. Whichever way you prefer to write it.)._

Then, in response to them:

_anonymous_  
**_re: fluff time? MORE LIKE RAPE TIME_**  
_LOL HOW BOUT NO. THOSE TWO ARE GOING DOWN DOWN DOWN AND EVERYONE SHOULD JUST ACCEPT IT. IT FIGURES THAT THEY WOULD BREAK UP THE DAY AFTER THEY GET TOGETHER._

_anonymous_  
**_re: fluff time? MORE LIKE RAPE TIME_**  
_Knock it off already and just let people want what they want. OP, just ignore him._  
_I’d write this for you, but I don’t really have the time right now when I’m writing a... certain, other long story. I hope someone fills it for you because I’m seconding!_

_anonymous_  
**_re: !!!!!!_**  
_/sigh/ You’ve both got a point here. I want a fic like this because I like them together and I WANT them to be happy together, but maybe I shouldn’t kid myself if that’s the way reality is going to be.  
(Are you the Forum-fic anon? omgggg I’m a fan! I wouldn’t mind waiting forever for you if you wanted to write this. All of my love for you~)_

_anonymous_  
**_re: !!!!!!_**  
_STOP LOVING EACH OTHER'S ASSES. GTFO AND WRITE YOUR STUPID CHAPTER SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE. THIS ISN’T YOUR PERSONAL MEME._

_anonymous_  
**_re: !!!!!!_**  
_I simply write what others ask for, friend. (Why are you anonymous here anyway?)_  
_Personally, I think everybody’s got it all wrong about Barnaby and Tiger-san. The tabloid articles and photos definitely bother Barnaby, but I think it’s because this is a very meaningful relationship for him. If you see any distance between them now, it’s probably because he wants to protect what they have. It’s stupid because it probably hurts Tiger-san, too, but there you go. That’s what I think. (And that would make for a good plot for this. Darn it, now I really DO have to write it for you!)_

_anonymous_  
**_re: !!!!!!_**  
_O-Oh wow... I think you may be right. That really makes sense with the way Barnaby was acting around the cameras yesterday. Once things calm down, you think they’ll be okay?_

_anonymous_  
**r _e: !!!!!!_**  
_Different anon here. Personally, I don’t think they should have to hide anything. Barnaby doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship where he has to hide his feelings._

_anonymous_  
**_re: !!!!!!_**  
_Forum-writer here._  
_I don’t think that’s Tiger’s fault. If he’s afraid of showing affection that publicly then he would probably be that way with anyone - but especially someone he’s really in love with. ( ´ω`)_

_anonymous_  
**_re: !!!!!!_**  
_You are both a gentleman AND a wizard, writer!anon. You should be writing real life, seriously. I know we don’t see a lot because it’s all a reality show (and there’s always even the possibility that this whole relationship is staged) but the two seem great together and I hope they can ~make it work._

_anonymous_  
**_re: !!!!!!_**  
_Me too, anons, me too. At first I thought they were both just being bitches about it, but I had to think about what I would be like if I were them and I realized that it might be a lot harder than it seems.（￣～￣;） Being a hero is probably tough... But I know that being a friend and being in love is even tougher!_

That writer... That had to be origamically, right? Kotesu wasn’t so dense that he couldn’t recognize their specific use of emojis. Did other people not see that? Huh.

But more importantly, it sounded like they really did have this more figured out than he did. Unlike that writer, he hadn’t stopped yet to think rationally about it in that way. He was so hung up on the conflicting feelings he had going on in himself; wanting to find an immediate fix, wanting to be public, wanting... what he wanted.

It was too much about himself and he hadn’t thought about all the pain it must have been causing Barnaby. There was so much Barnaby was already dealing with, like his very reason for being a hero, and Kotetsu was thinking of their relationship as being something totally separate because it involved both of them. To Barnaby, it was probably just one more thing that he was burdened with. It hurt to think of it like that, but at the same time, it meant that he was trying to distance them because he wanted to protect what they had.

“Your face is disgusting.”

Kotetsu rubbed at his face rigorously with his sleeve and was surprised when he realized that his eyes had been a little damp. “Ah, I-”

“Save your breath. I know you’ve been getting emotional about it so I’ll let you cry and I’ll try not to make fun of you for it.”

Standing quickly, nearly knocking his chair over backwards, Kotetsu pointed a finger at his partner accusingly. “Look who’s talking! Your eyes are red, too!”

Barnaby’s shoulders tensed and he hid his face to the side. “A-Are you a _child?_ ”

“I figured it out.”

“You mean that the internet helped you figure it out,” he bit.

That tone always stung, but yeah. He was right, so it wasn’t like Kotetsu could argue with that. He needed help from time to time. “I got some relationship counseling from them, you could say, sure. But I know what it is now, so there isn’t any excuse for me anymore.” Hoping that he wasn’t about to face rejection, he leaned over to Barnaby’s side of the desk. He reached over and gently held his chin, turning him to look at him. “I love you. Now I know how much you love me if you would’ve rather chosen to suffer quietly than to let what we have be ruined by all of this stupid attention.”

The stoic and moody Barnaby from before was no more. The man who sat beside Kotetsu looked young and afraid and unsure and Kotetsu finally couldn’t resist his urge to lean across the desk dividing them to wrap his arms around his shoulders.

“You can’t help the way you feel,” he said reassuringly, “and you can’t help the way that people will react to it. You just have to accept that they will because you’re someone important to them. We both know that the 'us' they see isn’t like the real thing, so don’t worry about what their photographs say.”

A kiss was placed into Barnaby’s curls and weakly, he clutched his fingers in Kotetsu’s shirt.

“You...”

“Mmhm.”

Barnaby sighed and broke away to return to his keyboard. Though his eyes were still averted, a bit of red was visible on his cheeks. “Get back to figuring out where we’ll eat.”

Kotetsu grinned and stole another kiss to his partner’s cheek.

“Right!”


	15. A Person is a Person Because of Other People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this as an extra; part 14.5, if you will. It's set in the same verse as the Hero TV Forums, just not on the exact timeline of it. I wrote this during the Jake Arc when it seemed as though Ivan was going to be in a LOT of trouble. I got kind of worried.

His shoulders still hurt and he didn't know if the hearing in his right ear would ever be the same again. His left leg was broken in about three places and it hurt every time he moved – all over, didn't matter which part of him it was. The disgusting bruising on his face had gone down with some ice, at least. The bright side was that he was alive and at home in his own bed, drinking orange juice and eating rice, an anime DVD in the player across the room so he was entertained even while no one else was around to keep him company.

His laptop sitting upon his uninjured knee, Ivan finally let himself take a look at what he feared would be the worst internet trainwreck of his life. People used to seriously make fun of him for having a 'worthless' power and he thought he had changed his publicity for himself when he saved Edward and showed bravery against Lunatic. Now, he had signed himself up for a mission against someone with a power level ten thousand times his pitiful one and he came back a failure.

Correction: he came back as a package of tenderized meat. If the others had come a second later, that was what he might have literally been, even. The thought of it still made the orange juice burn nauseatingly in his stomach.

His mail was full of get-wells from the others. During the day, they took funny pictures of each other and sent them to him to cheer him up when he couldn't be with them. There were also a dozen private message notifications in his mail from the forum, which meant that people heard about what had happened to his favorite hero and wanted to talk to him about it. It probably made them worry even more when he hadn't shown up around the forum – for reasons beyond his control, obviously, but they wouldn't know that.

What if he _died?_

The thought had been echoing in and out of his head for a while, but now he really wondered. What happened to a person's things on the internet when they died?

Deciding to bite the bullet, he looked at the main page of the forum's discussion board and was overwhelmed by the number of posts that were concerning him.

_[Please be alright, Origami!]_  
**papercranes**  
_I can't take it, you guys. I love Origami so much. I know he's not the “best” to a lot of people, but he inspires me so much and I've achieved some things I never thought I'd be able to because of him. He's so brave. I just... hope he's okay._

**degozaru09**  
_I know, it's really killing me to not know how he is right now. Like... The 'what ifs' are really starting to get to me, you know? What if..._

**papercranes**  
_Oh god, don't even say that. I know I don't know him, but I've been crying just thinking about it._

**bisonfan4life**  
_I wasn't really a fan until now, to be honest. Dude's got some guts. I hope he's alright, too._

**foldingorigami**  
_I'm praying for you, Origami.  
Times like this make me wish I knew what his real name was. It's sad to think, but what if a hero dies? Do we get to know who they were or will they maintain the mask forever? I wish I could know what kind of person he really is, especially at a moment like this where he probably needs all the good luck he can get. I wonder if the other heroes care about him as much as we do?_

**barnabysfuturewife**  
_guys... this is bugging me a lot too. i'm getting kind of scared. what if this happened to the others? i didnt even know that such strong NEXT existted and i don't want to think about what would happen to barnaby._

**HeroLove**  
_This place wouldn't be the same, that's for sure. I love to make believe with them, but the real people are what's most important. For now, just believe in him. Despite what anyone says, he's still a hero and he's strong. I have faith that he'll be alright._

This reaction was something he hadn't expected. Ivan knew that he had some fans, but to think that strangers would be so invested in him and care that much just frankly broke his heart and filled it back up at the same time. What would he have done? If he died, then origamically and Origami would both be dead. The forum-goers would decide their own conclusions, but the fact would be that he would leave a dent on them in more than one way and it would leave a scar that they would never be able to remove.

It wasn't just fandom. He wasn't some magical, animated character. Origami Cyclone was a _hero_. Reality show or not, the threats they faced were real. His responses were real. Death was _real._ Even if some of them thought of Origami Cyclone as a character, there was a real person underneath the suit who could die.

Threads popped up where people encouraged each other and tried to calm each other down, writing fanfics about Origami surviving and pulling through with the other heroes at his side. There were others writing stories about what would happen, just in case, preparing their hearts for if the worst really occurred.

All the while, he wondered about what one user in particular was thinking until he saw a post that was made earlier in the morning that literally had his name written all over it.

_[ORIGAMICALLY ORIGAMICALLY WHERE R U]_  
**stophavingfun**  
_I HATE YOU SO MUCH._  
_I HATE YOU._  
_I HATE YOU._  
_I HATE YOU._  
_WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? MODS, WHERE IS HE? WHERE'S THAT GIRL WHO KNOWS HIM?_

**yukionna**  
_Whoa, calm down. Are you that worried about origamically?_

**stophavingfun**  
_I'm not worried._

**bisonfan4lyfe**  
_You forgot to capslock. LOL You're worried as heeeeeell right now._

**stophavingfun**  
_Whatever._  
_You're his friend, right, yukionna? I know other people care, so just tell us if he's alright._

**yukionna**  
_I don't think you have to worry too much. Like everyone, origamically is probably just feeling really worried about Origami Cyclone._

**barnabyfan67**  
_Glad to hear that she's okay. I was a little worried since she's the biggest Origami fan we have around here. I think I'm worried about Origami because of her!_

**stophavingfun**  
_Stop calling him a “she” already. His own friend refuses to disclose his gender so it's obviously a guy, fuck. Seriously._  
_Anyway, if you say he's alright then I guess I'll take your word for it. I'm not worried, though. I'm just bored without him around here to annoy._  
_He's such a dick. He already pulled this before with that time when Tiger and Barnaby ~*BeCaMe ReAl*~_  
_Whatever. He's a creep like me so I know he's readin this right now. Suck it up, you pussy._

_If it makes you feel better, I'm sure Lunatic has an eye on Jake now._

That was funny. He couldn't see the monitor anymore. His vision was getting blurry. Tears were rolling down his face.

He was crying? Why? Because someone hated him enough to miss him? That was so ridiculous, but he had never cried so hard before that he actually feared someone hearing him.

“ _I don't wanna die,_ ” he cried, holding on tightly to the sides of his laptop. Stophavingfun probably wouldn't say he cared even if Ivan went in to say hello, but he'd said enough for Ivan. They all had. Even Karina was trying to be diplomatic.

“Thank you.” He wished he could tell them all, as Origami Cyclone, origamically, and Ivan. “Thank you so much for caring about someone like me. _Thank you._ ”


	16. Keep Your Friends Close, Your Enemies Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: Like any good online community, HeroTV Forum ends up arranging a live meet-up! Ivan decides to attend and try to actually make real-life friends (who aren't heroes)~ ^3^  
> Karina might also want to show up, just to see what the creepy Blue Rose fans are like in real life...? Perhaps Kaede will insist on going and Kotetsu has to take her there...?
> 
> Bonus: Lunatic stalking the meetup from the shadows, because he wants to see what _origamically is really like WANTS TO LAUGH AT THE PATHETIC LOSERS ATTENDING.
> 
> Notes: BAM SUDDENLY YURI/IVAN AND NFSW. Now is the point where you stop reading halfway if Yuri/Ivan isn't exactly your thing. But that's what Bondageverse ends up being for. So if that is your thing, you can go read that after this.

__**little_lamb**  
_[IMPORTANT: Off-topic To Close Soon]  
The Hero TV Forums is the designated home for all things Hero TV. Recently, the higher-ups have decided to make an amendment to the rules. While we appreciate that you are all also fans of other things, in order to keep the site focused on its primary purpose, we will be closing any groups and topics on the forum that are not related to Hero TV. This includes the off-topic board. Please back up anything you need from such topics for yourself before this time, next week, when the change takes effect. _

__**_origamically**  
_wa-wa-wa- a STICKY? WHA WHA WHA WHA_  
_WHAT DO?_  
_WHAT DOOOOO?_  
_Girl, you know I love you, but what's going on? Why close down the off-topic posts? Some people come here just for them._

_**little_lamb**  
It wasn't my decision. I'm sure this displeases many of you, but please try to respect the rules._

_**HeroLove**  
Hey, what? Who are these 'higher-ups'? I hadn't heard anything about this._

_**stophavingfun**  
MEH, DON'T CARE. I'M HERE FOR HERO TV, IRONICALLY. I WAS WAITING FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO HAPPEN ANYWAY. THANKS, MODS. YOU'RE GOOD PEOPLE._

_**_origamically**  
y u gotta be like that, seriously._

_**stophavingfun**  
I MAKE YOUR LIFE INTERESTING, ADMIT IT._

_**_origamically**  
YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE._

_**stophaving fun**  
YOU'RE NOT ON TOPIC. (NICE TO SEE MY CAPS INFECTING YOU.)_

_**little_lamb**  
Yes, please, stay on topic._

_**HeroLove**  
Normally I don't approve of such things, but I'm going to suggest that whoever wants the off-topic posts to stay should start a petition of some sort to fight the change._

That was how it started. Yuri got his coffee, tied back his hair, and sat back to watch the fireworks ignite. Stickied posts always received thousands of comments, usually from butthurt forum-goers who disagreed strongly with whatever changes or announcements were being made.

He was surprised to see his little friend already raging among the very first comments. For some reason, he expected him to have more dignity than to jump in like the horde of so many other idiots. After accepting that his immediate cry for them to back down wouldn't work, _origamically quieted down and retreated then to wherever he came from and left the post alone - until right around the new pages, where things were starting to get interesting again.

_**kgoodman3958**_  
_I have an idea for everyone!_  
_Right now, I think that there are too many separate petitions being made. Your enthusiasm may be better used if you focused it on only one means of petitioning._  
_So I have a radical idea: What would you all say to an offline meet-up? It would be a way to physically show how many users here feel passionately about this. At the same time, it would be an excellent chance for people here to meet their friends offline!_

That fool, what was he doing? Or... was it a she? No matter, that sounded like an absolutely ridiculous idea; not to mention, a dangerous one. An event like that would undoubtedly attract dozens of perverts, deviants, and very bad people.

_**_origamically**_  
_...SUGEI._  
_This... This sounds like the most amazing idea. Why have we never done anything like that before? HAVE we? If we have, I'd feel bad if I was left out. Ah well... idk if I would really want people to see me, come to think of it. Ehehe..._

_**stophavingfun**  
BECAUSE THEY'D KNOW THAT YOU'RE A DUDE?_

_**_origamically**_  
_Youuuuuuuuuuu. You literally only comment when I comment, don't you?_  
_Anyway, I just don't know if I'm what people would be expecting._

_**stophavingfun**_  
_I'M GUESSING..._  
_AROUND 18._  
_A LITTLE SHORT FOR A GUY._  
_SHY. YOU MUST BE SHY IN PERSON FOR YOU TO BE ON YOUR COMPUTER THIS OFTEN._

_**_origamically**  
My, I had no idea you were THAT much of a creeper. I feel a little hazukashii~ (｡・ε・｡)_

Hazu... ka... Whatever. Yuri was absolutely not interested in this little 'offline meet-up' of theirs.

Which was exactly why he showed up to it a few days later.

The whole point of the meet-up would be for people to publicly petition against the change in rules, but it was also functioning as a way for many of the users to meet each other. Personally, Yuri had not bothered with a name tag like some others. He came to the designated coffee shop after work dressed in his usual suit and tie, carrying his briefcase with his laptop at his side. He felt tired as hell, so he was actually somewhat thankful for the fact that they had chosen to hold the event at a Buckstars.

Stifling a wide yawn behind the back of one hand, he wedged himself into the long line in front of the register. Fighting off sleep, nearly closing his eyes right there in the line, he was glad when he finally got up to the register to buy a venti black coffee.

The next challenge was pressing his way through the growing crowd in the building to reach a table. There were so many people dressed up like the heroes. Some of them smelled like they hadn't bathed in days, though he supposed that he could blame the number of people and the small space for that. After clearing the line, he realized that there were way more people in the building than there had been when he first went up to get his coffee. It was hard enough just to find a table to sit down.

All he really wanted to do was enjoy a coffee and silently people-watch. Like hell was he going to socialize with a bunch of people he didn't even-

He did recognize the name _little_lamb._ So one of the mods was there?

Yuri suppressed the urge to push people out of his way and slid through the crowd to reach a table that he spotted in a far corner. Some people must have just left it for it to show up suddenly with both of its chairs available. Taking no chances, Yuri sat down and pulled out his laptop, then sat the empty bag into the opposite seat to make it look occupied.

Perfect. Satisfied that no one would be bothering him for his seat, he took a sip of his coffee and tried to find the little moderator girl he had spotted earlier.

His eyes found her again by the middle of the room, up against a wall talking closely with a taller woman who Yuri recognized as the very producer of Hero TV. For a second, he wished that he had better eyesight so he could read what her nametag said. It was hard to believe that the producer herself would be a member of the heinous forum. Then again, Hero TV was a heinous show.

Would anyone even care who he was if they knew?

The boy he liked to pester might have liked to meet him (if only to laugh at him for even being there) but it was likely that he wasn't going to show up. Aside from what Yuri suspected he looked like, he really had no clues to go by. If he were there, he probably would have been the one person attracting the most attention. Everyone on the forum seemed to love _origamically.

Their meet-up was entertaining, but... kind of pointless, too.

Was that... Wild Tiger? That was definitely Kotetsu Kaburagi standing by the door with a little girl attached to his arm. That was surprising to say the least; not only was the producer there, but also one of the heroes. Actually, now that he was looking around, Yuri recognized Keith Goodman, the King of Heroes as well. He was headed toward Kaburagi and the girl was going off on her own and Kaburagi was yelling something after her, but she was ignoring him.

Grinning, Yuri took another sip of his coffee. There was something so pleasing about seeing that man being completely ignored by his own daughter. That _was_ his daughter, wasn't it? He recalled reading that he had a daughter in his file. In a few minutes, Yuri wouldn't have been surprised if Barnaby Brooks Jr. showed up as well to complete the pair.

The coffee was definitely helping to wake him up and it helped him play his new game of Hero TV Where's Waldo with the meet-up attendants. He derived some silent pleasure from knowing that aside from the heroes and the producer, he was probably the only person in the room who recognized any of them as heroes outside of their costumes.

He wasn't one hundred percent sure of it, but the boy in the opposite corner of the room looked like Origami Cyclone, Ivan Karelin. Yuri was suddenly greatly wishing that _origamically could have been there to appreciate... Oh, right, he was out of costume. He wasn't much to write home about when he was out of costume, anyway. He was just some frail, depressed-looking teenager underneath the suit. His television persona wasn't anything like the real person.

The longer he looked at him, the more Yuri began to suspect that his eyes had some kind of magnetic pull, because Ivan kept getting closer and closer. As if to break that weird spell's effect, Yuri went back to looking at his laptop. He had it open and on, hadn't even done anything with it yet, but it took only a quick second for his browser to load after clicking on it. There was some shame to be had in the fact that he had made the forum his homepage, but it was undeniably handy when the site had become his most visited.

At least it felt appropriate to be on the forum while he was at the meet-up for it. It could even aid him in the Name That User game if he spotted a nametag that sounded unfamiliar. He couldn't deny that he wanted to get to know _bisonfan4lyfe_. Whoever he was, he had a very nice build, much like Rock Bison himself; just the type of guy Yuri enjoyed bringing back to his place to-

“Can I... Ah, is this seat taken?”

_Yes. It is,_ he wanted to say impatiently to the person who was requesting _his_ other seat.

“It's...” Ivan Karelin. “Available.”

The boy nodded his head appreciatively with a quick, shy smile, but he shuffled his feet in place when he didn't know what to do with the bag Yuri had left in the seat. Trying not to appear too perturbed by that, Yuri leaned over and plucked it from the seat, then set it down next to him on the floor where he hoped that no one would come by to steal it.

Carrying a bag of his own, Ivan placed it in his lap and pulled out his laptop which he then set down on the other side of the table. Aside from the sound of his fingers on the keys, muted by the noise of the people in the store, he didn't make any other sound. Yuri had the impression that even if he were the only other person in the shop, he still wouldn't be able to sense his presence. Even if he took up half of the table, it was almost like he wasn't there, his presence immediately disappearing and becoming blessedly unobtrusive.

Curiously, Yuri craned his neck to the side to peek around his laptop, hoping to see if Ivan had on a nametag. However, like himself, he didn't have one. It couldn't have been a coincidence that so many heroes were at the same event, all talking to each other. If Ivan weren't a member of the site, then he seemed like the type who would have avoided the crowded coffee shop, even if he _really_ wanted coffee.

Yuri just wasn't curious enough to ask him what his username was, though, especially when that would have exposed him as another one of these massive nerds.

When he turned his attention back to his own laptop, he noticed that he had a private message in his inbox. It was strange enough that anyone would want to message him and more strange when he saw who it was from.

_**_origamically**_  
_[Meet-up]_  
_lol so did you go?_  
_I can totally picture you just sitting there, looking like the most awkward turtle ever, not knowing how to interact socially with real people._

He tried not to laugh. That was coming from the guy who was probably sitting at home because he was too socially awkward to do what Yuri was doing. There was no way that he was going to admit that he was at the meet-up, though.

_**stophavingfun**_  
_[Re: Meet-up]_  
_LMAO OF COURSE NOT. LIKE I WOULD ASSOCIATE MYSELF WITH A BUNCH OF LOSERS._  
_LET ME GUESS. YOU DIDN'T GO EITHER._

_**_origamically**_  
_[Re: Meet-up]_  
_Well, I did go. I saw some of my friends, but they were all people I already knew irl. I didn't feel like talking to people I didn't really know already. You figured out that I'm a guy, but a lot of people on the site don't know anything about me, even that much. It's not that I hide it, it's just that nobody's ever bothered to be like “Hey, are you a guy?”_

_**stophavingfun**_  
_[Re: Meet-up]_  
_IF I WERE THERE, WOULD YOU HAVE WANTED TO MEET ME?_

_**_origamically**_  
_[Re: Meet-up]_  
_Your caps feel so gratuitous sometimes... You aren't mad when you're asking that, are you?_  
_Uh... I guess I wouldn't mind knowing what kind of crazy person you must be irl. You told me what you think I'd look like, so I'll tell you what I think you look like. lol_  
_I imagine that you're about my age (or around 20-ish), you have some kind of crazy hair that's like red or blue or something, and you have piercings. idk just my immediate mental image. Or you're just some regular businessman-type who gets lonely and doesn't have anything to do with himself so he just antagonizes people on the internet. Either image works to me._

_**stophavingfun**_  
_[Re: Meet-up]_  
_The only hint I'll give you is that Я русский._

_**_origamically**_  
_[Re: Meet-up_ ]  
_Ahaha, я не знаю, что вы знали русский язык! Go figure, I'm Russian, too. I'm not sure I'd recognize a Russian if I saw one, though! I mean, unless we were speaking it to each other.  
(btw, you forgot your caps. It's kawaii when you do that.)_

When was the last time Yuri laughed out loud? He couldn't even remember, but it was too coincidental to find out that the person he'd been talking to that whole time could have been conversing with him in his mother language. Now he had two languages he could troll _origamically in.

On the other side of the table, Ivan was sharing a similar look of amusement which was an interesting, almost refreshing change from the nervous expression he had on a little while ago. When Ivan noticed him looking, Yuri tried to look away, but the kid decided that he had to talk to him for some reason.

“Read something funny? Are you here for the forum meet-up?”

Talk about déjà vu.

“No,” he denied again. “I just came for the coffee. You? It's a pretty packed house right now. I'm surprised that anyone else would have come here just to sit around.”

Instead of answering his question, Ivan was staring at him very intently, as if he were scrutinizing something about his appearance. “Aren't you...? You look familiar.”

“I'm a judge,” he explained. He could give him that much. “You may know me because I happen to already know you.”

“O-Oh...” Ivan hid his face by looking down into his lap. For a minute, Yuri wondered if the boy knew that he was the one who sent his friend to prison. No matter, at least he wasn't aware of the fact that he was the one he fought just a week ago. That would have really made things more awkward. “Well,” Ivan said, looking like he was trying to brighten up the mood by being friendly. “I guess that proper introductions are in order if we've seen each other before. I'm Ivan.”

“Yuri Petrov,” he returned, shaking the hand that Ivan had timidly raised for him.

When he moved to lean back into his seat, however, Ivan's hand stayed clutching onto his own, refusing to let go.

Suddenly, Ivan grabbed the corner of Yuri's laptop with his other hand while he had him immobilized and yelled in a very attention-attracting way when he saw what he had up on his screen.

“ _I knew it!_ Moreover, _what are the odds!_ ”

“Probably higher than you think when I'm probably one of the few Russians you even know in person apart from your own family. Now kindly removed your hand and quiet yourself before people start coming over here.”

Ivan slumped back down into his own seat. He appeared to be thinking intensely about that new information, letting it roll over in his mind. “Wow, a judge.”

“ _Wow_ , a hero.”

“D-don't say that so loud!” he said defensively, going stiff. “People don't know who I am.”

“So I can see,” Yuri said dryly, pointing to Ivan's chest – or rather, to his lack of a nametag. “But really, what are you doing visiting your own fansite? What in the world would make you think that's a good idea?”

Ivan crossed his arms over his chest, ignoring his keyboard now that he had the real guy right in front of himself. “Probably the same reason you started going on it: it's a good source of information. It's very handy to know what the fans want and expect from me. I figured out that I can also control some of that myself by writing fanfiction about what I want. And... I can be a hero _and_ a fan if I want, can't I?”

...Yes, that was fine.

If he was being completely honest, Yuri was starting to feel a little glad that _origamically was turning out to make just as much sense in person. He wasn't his type at all, but he was what he expected he would look like and he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. At least he had the sense to not socialize with the other heroes at the meet-up. That gave him more points than Tiger and Sky High who were chatting it up rather animatedly with the newly arrived Rock Bison, all three of them wearing nametags to show off their own stupidity.

“You knew that there were other heroes on the forum?” he asked, not even caring about how loudly he said it when the rest of the café was so loud.

Ivan groaned and hid his face in his hands. “Yes,” he mumbled into his wrists. “Yes, and they're all idiots. I love them, but they don't know how to be respectable members of the internet at all.” He paused and looked up from his hands. “You know, I feel like a total nerd even talking like this in person, but it feels kind of okay since I get the feeling that you know what I mean...”

As Ivan trailed off, Yuri nodded for him. He never thought that he would be agreeing with something like that. Then again, he never really thought he would meet _origamically.

“Would you like a coffee?”

Ivan blinked. “A... huh, what?”

“I'm offering you a coffee. Or a pastry. Whatever you like.”

“That's not something I was expecting from the guy who's like my personal internet antagonist. You aren't going to lace it with poison or something, are you?”

“You can absolutely trust that I won't,” he replied, standing up and pushing in his chair. “Well?”

Like it or not, Ivan was getting coffee. “Uh... Something sweet. If it has caramel, I'll be happy.” Was he _blushing?_ “Thank you. I'll watch your chair for you.”

Once again, Yuri got up to join the line, which had grown to ridiculous proportions since the last time he went up. It was hard to tell where the line began and where it ended once it started merging with the people who were just milling around. When he took his place in the line, he suddenly found himself wishing that he had brought his own coffee with him because it was probably going to get cold before he made it back to the table.

He didn't like guys like Ivan, so why was he getting him a coffee, again...?

When he looked over to the table, so many teenage girls were suddenly swarming the table that Yuri could barely see Ivan sitting there anymore. It looked as though the group of girls had taken an interest in Ivan for some reason. Did they figure out who he was and want autographs or something? That would figure. Of course Yuri's peace would be busted by the most popular member of the forums. Now he was really wishing he hadn't offered him a coffee.

He still bought it for him anyway. If for no other reason, he told himself that it was because Ivan made the site more interesting for him and that he deserved some thanks for that.

The girls were gone by the time he got back. He carefully set down Ivan's coffee next to his laptop on a small stack of napkins and reclaimed his seat.

“T-They just wanted to know if I was from the forums...”

“I didn't ask.”

Nervously, Ivan stared down at his coffee and it was as though he shrunk in on himself. His arms got closer to his sides and he linked his feet together underneath his chair. The silence from his side of the table was slightly unnerving until he finally spoke again. “Thank you for the coffee.” He popped off the lid and started licking the whipped cream off the surface. It was a completely innocent sight, yet, for some reason, it struck Yuri as suggestive.

“I-If a bunch of girls found out that I was _origamically, they would probably just start calling me gay anyway,” he mumbled around a mouthful of creamy foam. A little bit clung to the tip of his nose and he tried his hardest to lick it off with his tongue.

“Writing explicit, erotic fanfiction about male heroes together does sound like a rather gay thing to do,” Yuri agreed. To put him out of his misery already, he took one of the napkins and slid it closer to Ivan, who appreciatively used it to wipe his nose. “Besides, wasn't there a guy you liked, even?”

Ivan sputtered and nearly choked on a sip of his coffee. “Ah, yeah, _that_. I... never got around to telling him how I felt. Did I really mention that before?”

“You had a whole thread about it following one of your Origami-Bison stories.” Not that Yuri would embarrass him by going into the details of it right on the spot, but he did recall reading a long thread where _origamically had tried to explain the situation he was in. Apparently he liked someone, but they were oblivious to his feelings and then there was another person who liked who he liked – it was quite childish. Now, looking at his bright red face and fidgeting fingers, it was obvious who Ivan had taken a shine to.

“I just...” He bit down on his lower lip and dragged a hand restlessly through his hair. “He's a lot older than me and I don't think he likes guys at all. I'm probably more like a son or little brother to him.”

Yuri didn't really have any advice for him. He invited men like Rock Bison home and whipped them and fucked them until they couldn't stand, but he didn't invite any of them back for dinner. He wasn't much of a romantic. He personally had no doubt that he could have the man if he wanted to, but he didn't feel cruel enough to rub it in. It seemed wrong to taint someone so innocent with even the thought of something like that.

_So that's why._

Someone that innocent... and yet so intelligent. Yuri had no idea he could even find anyone attractive in a romantic way.

It felt like he'd just discovered a new fetish: young, Russian, and extremely socially awkward. The fact that Ivan wrote erotic fiction only gave Yuri hope that he would be interested in someone like him who had a taste for the real thing.

_Interested? What in the world am I thinking? Is he even legal...? Moreover, he's a hero._

Ivan laughed softly and set his cup next to his laptop. He closed the screen and looked up at Yuri. “You know, you're more normal than I expected you to be. It's just so weird because I kind of already knew you and you're more different than I expected you to be at the same time. As Judge Petrov, that is.”

“Yuri's fine.”

“Yuri,” Ivan repeated with a small smile.

...It was set. He had to fuck Ivan Karelin. He was ready to make it a life goal if he had to. He could already picture him sobbing and begging underneath him.

Yuri snorted and waggled a finger at him. “I'm still stophavingfun. Don't get too comfortable.”

Ivan grinned. “I wouldn't dream of it. You still creep me out. I'm just trying to be polite. I can totally tell that you like me, though, by the way. _Just_ so you know. You're a little more subtle in person, but online it's practically like you're screaming it at me in caps.”

That time, it was Yuri's turn to choke on his drink. Unlike Ivan's cute little sputter, he got caught in a full-on coughing fit and had to pound himself on the chest a few times before it finally started to settle down. It wasn't bad enough that Ivan had caught on to him so completely, but now he was also drawing attention to himself for it.

“Uh... Seriously? I'm right?”

“You just said that and didn't know whether you were right?” He glared at Ivan with a mixture of embarrassment and open shock on his face.

“You're always such a dick, I didn't know how I was supposed to interpret it!”

Yuri calmly pinched the bridge of his nose and willed himself not to do anything more embarrassing than he already had. As it was, he was fearing that the other heroes would recognize him and try to come over to talk. It was bad enough that he was considering revealing his identity to one person; he didn't want to bring everyone else in on it, too.

“Just don't speak a word of this to anyone else, please. The whole forum in general is just a guilty pleasure.”

“Uh-uh. Trust me, I doubt that your hobbies could be any weirder than what I get up to on a daily basis. If you hadn't already noticed, on top of being a hero,” he started, lowering his voice for that 'hero' part, “I also write erotic slash fiction. I mean really, you're like the total opposite in a way. Even if everyone knew that you liked the site, I'm sure you could spin it in a way that wouldn't sound too... immature or whatever.”

Oh, that was all? And he thought that he was the total opposite? The poor child really didn't know a thing about what _he_ got up to on a daily basis... Or at least once or twice a week. It depended on how busy his schedule was and now with the whole Lunatic thing, his days were really starting to get eventful...

“So? What else do you do, exactly?” Ivan innocently took another sip of his coffee and looked at him from over the rim as he tipped it back. “Come on, you know so much more about me because all I do is talk about what I'm into all day and night.”

“Not really,” Yuri said quietly. “I just read some of your stories...”

“ _Pffft._ I'm flattered. But seriously, you're in like every thread that I'm in. At least tell me what you like about me.” When Yuri gave him another stricken look, Ivan took some pity. “Stop that. I'm the awkward one. Your hobbies, tell me them. You must have some.”

Did he really? Aside from the obvious ones that stuck out in his own mind (the ones he wasn't sure he wanted to share) it was hard to think of anything really defining. “I... like trying different kinds of coffee. I collect tea cups from around the world. Um...”

“And you enjoy reading homoerotic fiction,” Ivan provided with a stupid grin. “You know... I think I like you, too. You're the first guy who... even knows all this stuff about me. Even the important thing.” The hero part, he meant. That probably was the most delicate and complicated part of dating as a hero. Yuri hadn't yet run into that problem for obvious reasons.

Oh, what had he gotten himself into? Ivan didn't have a clue that he was Lunatic. It almost felt wrong to know that he was Origami Cyclone and not tell him who he was in return, but it would have been wrong to do so; namely because he'd already tried to kill him. If he'd known that he was _origamically back then, he likely wouldn't have laid a hand on him. Not without his consent, of course. And under very different circumstances.

Yuri took a long drink from his coffee and placed it back down firmly on the table.

Ivan was going to have so much leverage to blackmail him with in the future if he ever wanted to.

“I'm into BDSM.”

Cue Ivan's literal spit-take all over his laptop. Considerately, avoiding Yuri's face.

“Wh- Ah- Wh... I mean...” That was a very telling reaction.

He generously handed Ivan another napkin to wipe the caramel latte off his chin, carefully resisting the urge to lean over and do it for him. He was sure that _origamically had a Japanese word for the feeling that he made him feel, but he hadn't bothered memorizing it.

“I felt you should know just in case you were being serious.”

Ivan dabbed at his face with the napkin and it was like he shrunk back into his chair again, intimidated by the information he'd shared with him. It wasn't the kind of thing one would normally bring up on a date or a first meeting, but Ivan _was_ just a kid and Yuri wasn't about to be blamed for something if Ivan ever found a reason to say that he _didn't know._ He was ready to hide any embarrassing detail he could find, but he wanted to make his intentions clear.

“I trust that you won't-”

The young hero waved his arms around in front of himself to cut Yuri off. “I got it. I won't mention this to anyone ever. You already know all about me anyway, so it's only fair. ...I mean, you definitely have about nine thousand levels on me, but-”

“You're talking like an anime nerd again.”

“Sor- ...How stophavingfun of you,” he groaned. “I just mean that you're... You're obviously more experienced than me, then. I kind of haven't even... I mean, I don't even know if I'm _into_ that kind of thing.”

He did his best to follow Ivan's confusing verbal train of thought. Once he connected it all together, he realized that he could see a very obvious hole in what he was admitting. “How do you write such realistic BDSM...?”

“In my fics?”

“Yes. If you've never even-...” he paused and stopped himself just in time when he noticed the horrified look Ivan was giving him, should he threaten to loudly announce his virginity. “How do you even know what you're writing about?”

Ivan rubbed the back of his neck and idly cleaned up the coffee he'd spit onto his laptop. “Well, you see, I watch a lot of hentai. I read a lot of fics. I sort of feel like I've done it all secondhand in a way.”

Secondhand was not the real thing because there were some very vital components that were missing: the real physical sensation and psychological reaction. That was as good of a time as any to just lay it out there. “Would you ever consider doing any of that for real?”

Ivan's reaction wasn't a no. Actually, he seemed to be considering it, putting his chin in his palm as he looked contemplatively out into the crowded room. “I don't think I'd mind trying something with you, if that's what you're suggesting. But, like, I don't know about any hardcore stuff.” Yuri's mind started to tune out whatever else he was saying after that part because even though he had said it quickly, he had just basically just told him that he'd like to have sex with him. When was the last time he felt that excited to have someone's _permission?_

While Ivan was still talking, Yuri reached down into his briefcase and pulled out one of his business cards. Quickly, he flipped it over to scribble his home address onto the back of it, then placed it on top of Ivan's closed laptop. Ivan's nervous chatter stopped and he looked up, focusing his eyes on him.

He held up the card to read it. “Oh. So I should just...” he shrugged, “come over sometime?” He said it trying to sound casual about it, failing spectacularly. It was so easy for Yuri to tell that he was inexperienced when he was used to hearing the instant, forward replies he got from other men. Something about that made his insides burn even hotter to touch him. If he wasn't careful, he feared that he'd burst into flame.

That looked like his opportunity to leave. Grabbing his briefcase, Yuri slid his laptop back into it, zipped it, and stood. It was probably an especially good time when he realized that the young girl otherwise known as Blue Rose was there was well and staring at the two of them. What a peculiar sight they must have made.

“If you happen to lose the card, you know where to reach me regardless.”

Ivan nodded dumbly, looking up at him. “Y-yeah.” Clearly, he did not know what to do with all of that new information and the business card and the fact that he could sleep with him. His fingers clutched the card loosely and he let out a breath, then nodded in a way that made his hair fall in front of his face. “Yeah, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay. Until next time.”

He was going to have Ivan in his bed for sure at that rate.

 

Later that night, as Yuri sat at his desk, drinking yet another cup of coffee, browsing the forum, he received a private message. Of course, no one would PM him other than his little fanfic-writing friend, so he opened the message with a renewed interest. How his luck had managed to change all in one day was some kind of mystery or coincidence; no more so than how all the heroes managed to also visit the site, he supposed. Compared to that catastrophe-in-waiting, his luck was just average.

_[Hello again]_  
**__origamically_**  
_So..._  
_Did you seriously just want me to come over unannounced? (Is that a fetish of yours? :3c I could show up in a girlscout costume if you wa- No wait, don’t take that seriously. I don’t wanna picture you dragging little girls into your house when you tell them to wait for you to get your wallet...)_  
_But yeah, is there a good time when I should come over? You seem like a busy guy._

_[Re: Hello again]_  
**_stophavingfun_**  
_YOU HAVE A VERY ACTIVE IMAGINATION. I DON’T TOUCH LITTLE GIRLS._  
_WE’RE ALWAYS ONLINE AT THE SAME TIME, SO I’LL ASSUME WE HAVE ABOUT THE SAME HOURS. JUST COME OVER WHENEVER YOU SEE ME ONLINE._

_[Re: Hello again]_  
**__origamically_**  
_What... How... HOW DO YOU SOUND SO DIFFERENT ONLINE? TURN OFF YOUR CAPS._  
_Okay so, but like - Tomorrow? Tonight? Don’t you need to clean up your house before I come over or something? （｀ε´ ）_

That reminded him... He should really take some of those Lunatic masks off the wall. Ivan knew he was a fan of Lunatic, but it might have seemed suspicious if he saw what “perfect replicas” he had.

_[Re: Hello again]_  
**_stophavingfun_**  
_I am saying that you can come over whenever you like - as long as I’m home.  
Does that sound too strange? I can’t say I’ve ever done a proper date, but what we had at the meet-up was about as close as I’ve ever come to one before._

_[Re: Hello again]_  
**__origamically_**  
_If I think any harder about this, I’m probably not gonna be brave enough to do it, so can I just_  
_come over like_  
_right now?_  
_Just to be sure, how much experience do you have with guys like me?_

Yuri laughed and grinned into his palm. If he were typing then he wouldn’t mind saying what just came to his mind. It felt different than saying it out loud.

_[Re: Hello again]_  
**_stophavingfun_**  
_Virgins? Lots._  
_Guys like you? None._

_[Re: Hello again !!!!!!!!3rwey;kl;k]_  
**__origamically_**  
_AHHH OMG STOP. THAT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE YOU AT ALL._  
_WHY SO CUTE??? (≧∇≦)Ｏ_  
_omg okay. I’ll be over in a few minutes. Be gentle with me, okay? (＝ω＝)_

‘Gentle’ wasn’t a word Yuri kept in his vocabulary unless he was using it to describe a less severe level of torture. He rarely held back and the men he was with rarely wanted him to hold back at all, always so willing to take any punishment he would give them. No one ever walked away sustaining any terrible injuries aside from some bruises, cuts, or stiffness, but who knew what Ivan would be like? He didn’t seem like the type of guy who was dying to get a cock in him.

But what did he know? Virgins were the pandora’s box of sexual partners. Ivan had written enough to prove that he clearly knew what went where so Yuri could at least avoid any horribly awkward moments with him. Worst case scenario, he got him undressed and then he finally freaked out bad enough that he wouldn’t allow him to touch him. No, worse yet would've been if he didn’t want to undress in front of him at all.

He was delicate, obviously, and the last thing Yuri wanted to do was scare him away. At the same time, he didn’t want to hold back too much or else Ivan would have had no idea of how intense he usually was.

No amount of bondage was appropriate for a first time, was it? Not for the typical person. But what was their alternative? He had to make things at least marginally more comfortable for Ivan.

Realizing that Ivan had said that he'd be over in 'a few minutes' Yuri stood hurriedly from his desk and nearly flew around the house, picking up any incriminating material he laid eyes on. He ran around the basement, collecting the Lunatic masks from the wall and tossed them into a closet that he promptly locked. He double-checked the bathroom and made sure that he didn't have anything left out from the last time he had to treat his own injuries and gave a relieved breath when he decided that it was all under control.

His house was successfully hero-proofed.

With an indeterminable amount of time remaining, he ran into his bedroom and brought out some candles, giving no second thought as he lit them with his fingertips. After arranging them on the nightstands on either side of his bed, he stood back and checked out his bedroom situation. Like usual, his bed looked untouched, its sheets pressed and crisp as if no one had slept in it. And no one had.

Because for the last week, he had been enjoying some fitful nights on the living room couch after returning as Lunatic.

He looked forward to sleeping in his bed for a change about as much as he looked forward to sleeping with Ivan. Both at the same time? It was nice.

However... After about fifteen more minutes, Yuri finally slumped down to sit at the edge of his bed.

Was Ivan just not... coming? He thought that he'd done everything right. His worst fear was that Ivan wouldn't let him touch him, but now he worried more about whether he would really show. Or if he was just pulling his leg. And even if he did get to sleep with him, what if it wasn't as satisfying as he expected it to be? What if Ivan wouldn't be as submissive as he thou-

The doorbell.

_Calmly,_ Yuri told himself. _Don't trip over your own feet to answer the door. Don't look too anxious. Deep breath. You're only going to fuck someone you actually like._

His hand reached to unlock the door, but he froze, a cold sweat breaking out on his brow.

Why was _he_ getting nervous? Maybe they were perfect for each other for real...

A few more breaths. _Calm... Calm..._ He opened the door and wasn't surprised to see Ivan standing on his front step, looking quite small and uneasy.

“Your house is... really big,” Ivan said, clearing his throat halfway when he realized how small his voice sounded. Indeed, his house was what people would've called a mansion, situated comfortably at the end of a private drive, surrounded by trees. It was an out-of-place sight in Sternbild where there was an abundance of apartment complexes in comparison and only a handful of homes like his. He was sure that there was a smart moment to be had somewhere in there about how he was only one small, lonely person living in a big house all by himself.

“It's quite nice. Don't let the size intimidate you,” he assured him, stepping aside to allow for Ivan to step inside. Once again, he was sure there was a euphemism in there...

When Ivan stepped in and looked up into the foyer, the only word that could describe his expression was _awestruck._ Yuri wondered what Ivan's home looked like in comparison if his home impressed him so much. Ivan was running a hand through his hair, dragging his fingers through and curling the strands he separated around his fingers when he reached the ends.

“So...” Yuri didn't know how to start, either.

Eyes staring at his feet or the floor, Ivan edged closer to him and reached up to hold the lapels of his suit jacket. He slowly brought his gaze up to weakly look him in the eyes, his lips quivering as he tried to maintain his confidence. Yuri couldn't remember there ever being a time where he kissed someone to kiss them. Affection was something he thought he didn't have. But Ivan was... Ivan was very special, wasn't he?

Ivan had wrapped both of his arms around his shoulders and was standing on his toes to try to get them even closer together. So young, so inexperienced, Yuri hadn't even considered that he may not have any challenge ahead of himself at all. He had thought it would be so awkward and difficult, but Ivan seemed pretty ready. Just to be sure, Yuri put his hands on his shoulders and ran them down his sides to rest at his hips.

Ivan gasped into his mouth.

“Bedroom?” he asked simply, to which Ivan nodded.

His bedroom was upstairs, down a hall, then down another hall, then – it was just a long walk in a big house. It was to ensure his privacy if he ever had anyone over at his home, but, as it turned out, Yuri wasn't much of a socialite. To fill the silence and keep it from growing awkward, he gently grabbed Ivan by the wrist and led him after him.

Why did Ivan have to link their fingers? It was cute, but it just cemented the fact that there was no way it was just a casual thing. Yuri wanted to see more of Ivan, but...

_He really does like me...?_

It shouldn't have surprised him so strongly when Ivan had already told him as much. The way he said it the first time, it could have been a joke, but Yuri hadn't taken it to heart. He must have been busy thinking about how good he would look underneath him that he hadn't even realized that Ivan's feelings were serious.

“Yuri-san.”

He jolted, embarrassed that he'd just kept them standing outside of his own bedroom for a few seconds too long. It was like there was a barrier in the doorway and those... _feelings_ were making it hard to cross through. Did his bedroom reject romance?

“Sorry, I-”

“You're nervous, too. Whatever, I can tell.”

Either his internal conflict was apparent or Ivan was especially perceptive. No matter, though. Yuri flipped his hair and gestured for Ivan to enter.

From there began the slow process of getting Ivan out of his clothes – and he had _layers_. The jacket was the easiest. That came off without any prompting. His boots and socks were no problem at all either, both getting neatly set next to the bed on the floor. At the point that Ivan took off his shirt and started folding it slowly just to make time slow down further, Yuri knew that he had to do something to move things along.

His instinct took over – or maybe it was frustration. He got on the bed, straddling Ivan's waist with a knee on either side of his hips, then pushed him down by the shoulders until only his feet hung off the bed. The shirt he was wearing was tugged over his head. The chest he exposed was just as thin as Yuri expected. The reason Ivan wore so much was probably to cover up how skinny he was. Chuckling softly to himself, Yuri loosened his tie and slid it off, then unbuttoned a few of the top buttons of his shirt and opened his jacket. After he untucked his shirt, he took Ivan's hands and put them on his waist.

“I'm really thin, as well. You don't have to feel self-conscious about that.”

Having Ivan's hands on his waist felt nice. Ivan slid his palms under his shirt and he felt along the curve of his hips.

“Sorry,” Ivan mumbled. “I still think about how I got picked on for being so small.”

Yuri would find those people, whoever they were now, and fry them. “There are some people out there who really don't know a good thing when they see it, then,” he reassured. Ivan was just the right size, even. It was so easy to grab him under the arms and make him scoot up on the bed until he had his head against the pillow.

“A-Are these candles going to be put to use...?” Ivan wondered out loud, pointing to the one on his right.

“Not unless you want me to.” Once Ivan said it, the thought was really tempting, but it looked like it was enough that he even had him on his bed. “I'll try to hold back for you.”

The real reason he liked having his partners blindfolded more often than not was because of the little 'tick' he had. Arousal seemed to influence his flames sometimes and there had been a time once where he left a whole handprint scorched onto a man's back. The guy loved it, but it freaked the hell out of Yuri and made him afraid of anyone ever seeing that happen again. To have someone who turned him on so strongly laying underneath him, no blindfold, Yuri realized that he really _had_ to be crazy, after all.

He kissed Ivan. He didn't know why, but for some reason, it seemed to keep him in place; keeping the fire alive inside him while holding it back to where he didn't feel like he'd burst. Maybe it was having a similar effect on Ivan because the shivering in his knees had stopped and his lips moved against his languidly.

Now or never. Keeping Ivan distracted with his mouth, he started working on the buttons on Ivan’s pants. Yuri had to wonder whether he was just very sensitive or innocent or if he had a fetish for being had by older men or something because he could tell that Ivan was already hard. Ivan made a rather undignified sound when he felt the back of Yuri's knuckles brush over the front of his pants.

He turned out the top button, slid down the zipper... It looked like Ivan was just ready to die of embarrassment, though. Their lips were still together, but Ivan had clammed up enough where he’d totally stopped moving, his mouth zipped shut. It was like seeing an armadillo curl up to hide from a predator. Yuri knew that it might not be best to voice how much he enjoyed that. He wanted Ivan to beg for him, but he also enjoyed the thought of a slightly unwilling Ivan as well.

“Here,” he said, taking Ivan’s hand to place over his own crotch.

“W-W-What?” he stuttered, eyes flying open to look down at their hands. Was it that unexpected?

“Relax. Breathe,” he ordered, looking at him firmly, holding him with his eyes. “If you see that you can touch me without a problem first, it won’t be embarrassing at all. You know that I’m not judging how you look at all, right? You’re gorgeous.”

“Wh...” Words. Ivan was getting increasingly worse at using them. “What’s wrong with you, saying that with such a straight face? When you just say something like that... I don’t really know if I believe it.” His free arm covered his eyes and his fingers jumped on his other hand when Yuri moved his weight forward a little more.

Yuri lifted his arm and toyed with Ivan’s hair for a moment. “I meant that, though. I thought you were interesting on the site. In person, though...” Arm lowering, Ivan pouted curiously, a clear indication that he wanted him to continue that train of thought. Truth was, Yuri was just questioning what he was thinking out loud for himself. The moment for him to rethink things had already passed hours prior, though.

Whatever. He felt he deserved something nice once in a while.

He lowered his lips to Ivan's ear and held the wrist that rested above his head on the pillow. “I wanted to fuck you right there.”

“On second thought,” Ivan started shakily, “maybe this wasn't such a good ide-”

“You aren't the type I'd leave alone, if that's what you were wondering.” Immediately realizing how strange that sounded, he tried again. “I won't force you out and lock my door. Not on you.” He knew that Ivan wouldn't understand how different he was for him since he had zero way of making a comparison between him and what Yuri considered his 'usual'. He just had to trust him. For someone who seemed so uneasy, so unsocial, it looked like Ivan already had a lot of trust in him.

“You'll take me on a date,” Ivan told him – not a question.

Yuri nodded.

“And you'll buy me someth-”

“Why am I buying you something?”

Ivan frowned. “Whatever. Just fuck me and we'll see how I feel after.”

Was he expecting it to be some horrible experience? Unless Ivan wasn't actually into guys, Yuri was pretty confident that it was going to be great. Surprisingly enough, Ivan still had his hand on his dick and he was looking at him with a renewed look of determination etched on his face. That was the Ivan that he had been waiting for.

In an instant, that confidence was lost again when Yuri started to tug his pants down him. “Wait, wait, wait, maybe I need another minute to just-” How easy it was to make him shut up with a quick squeeze to the balls.

“Hush. No speaking now unless you have something really important to say.” He would gag him if he damn well had to if that's what it took to fuck him. As it was, he hoped to gag him anyway, but that could come some other time when Ivan became more acclimated to being in his bed. Right now, he moved his hand up Ivan's cock, giving him a few firm pulls before he relaxed his hand. Ivan's face gradually became a brighter red, his mouth opening and closing as he held back whimpers and tried to form words that Yuri didn't care about unless it was “please.”

He tugged his loose cargo pants down a little more to free them from underneath him so he could pull them all the way off, then sat back on his knees to admire the real _origamically. This was a true accomplishment that went beyond trolling. This was like successful real life trolling. His little arch nemesis looked so good spread out on his bed. It was already too hard to keep his hands off of him so he reached out, running his palm over the warm, flat plain of his stomach, was amused when he jumped and shivered when he rubbed his thumbs over his nipples.

When he leaned over him to reach for the lubricant, Ivan grabbed his arm.

He was afraid he was going to hear him tell him that he wanted him to stop. Instead, he asked, “Are you... Do you really keep your lube in the top drawer just like in fanfics?”

“Yes,” he sighed. “That's where a lot of people tend to keep it, unsurprisingly. Do you expect me to be more creative about it?” From his perspective, it was a lot like what Ivan's fanfics were like. He just wished that he could convince him of that when the poor kid never had any experience with it himself. Shaking his head, he opened the drawer and found the tube sitting right near the top for him to grab.

“One finger,” he said, holding up his finger. A little bit of lubricant was squeezed along it and he rubbed his first few fingers together. Ivan was watching him intently, having raised himself up on his elbows to get a better look. Gently, Yuri pushed him back down onto his back. Then, he pressed the tip of his finger against Ivan's entrance. “Breathe,” he reminded him. “It's just one.”

He was tight. Of course he was tight. But Yuri had never been so thrilled to have someone who had never been touched before and he felt especially thrilled to have Ivan to himself. Already, he was being filled with that protective desire to horde him. Almost as soon as he had figured out who he was he had felt it. There was no explanation for it, just that this person was so unarguably _his._

Ivan was breathing through his nose, still pretty red in the face, but otherwise looking like he was coping well with the feeling of something inside him. Yuri added another finger and apart from a brief squint of pain, Ivan seemed like he was able to handle it. If he couldn't do that much, then how would he ever be able to seriously write his precious fanfics again, right? The thought made him want to laugh, so he added the third a bit quickly and Ivan's hips jerked.

The frustrated growl that he emitted at that sounded more pleasured than anything, though. It was hard to use three fingers while he was still so tight, so Yuri just angled them and pressed here – there – _there_ until he made Ivan scream.

“There, hm?” It was impressive that he hadn't- Wait, had Ivan ever... “Have you really never even fingered yourself? How the hell do you write the things you write? It's impressive, but shocking.”

Ivan lowered the hands he had brought up to cover his mouth slowly. “I don't know, I just go by the things I watch. I... heard that most people can't find it that fast, though. What you just did, that is.”

“Most people aren't me,” he assured, nudging his fingers up a few more times to rub over his prostate. Ivan looked to be at a total loss, not sure whether he should be covering his mouth with his hands or gripping the sheets with them instead.

Slowly, he removed his fingers and watched him squirm, trying to adjust to their absence. There were so many things he wanted to do to him. The future, he told himself. He had a lot of time in the future to do whatever he wanted.

He grinned, a slow, creeping smile. He couldn't help the pride he felt, realizing that this was the first time he would be introducing Ivan to his master's cock.

He breathed a hard sigh, relieved to finally be free of the tight restriction that his pants were putting on him. A few strokes to coat his cock and he felt like he should be ashamed of how wet the tip of his cock was already. Instead, he just felt... elated.

“Wait a second,” Ivan said, holding up a hand again. “You aren't taking off your clothes?”

Yuri shrugged. “Must I? Here.” He slid his tie off all the way, dropped it to the floor. “There you go. Okay, now come here.”

He put his hands on Ivan's knees and spread them farther apart so he could get himself comfortably situated between them and lifted his hips slightly to place him more in his lap, giving him a nice angle to work with. He didn't do this position very often, but this was supposed to be a bonding experience for them, yes? Like the way a baby bird identifies the first thing it sees as its mother...

Whatever, he was definitely over-thinking things, but it was a momentous occasion.

The first time he pressed inside him felt _ridiculous._ Ivan grabbed a fistful of the sheets instantly and jerked his hips as if to move away, but Yuri held him down firmly to cease his struggling. He gave him about three seconds to adjust before he pressed in again and the whimper he received from him made Yuri worry about that spontaneous flame problem of his. He hadn't expected to need some time himself, so he took it a little slower until both of them were on the same page.

“How does it feel?” he asked.

Ivan wiggled helplessly; for what specific reason, to get more or get away, Yuri wasn't perfectly sure until he finally responded with that timid voice of his. “It's good.”

“Really?”

He nodded slightly. “It's tight, though.”

“Does it hurt?”

He bit his lip between his teeth and tentatively gave another upward roll of his hips to bring himself down more onto Yuri's lap, driving him deeper. The move made his breath catch and his cock twitched impatiently against his stomach. “It does kind of – not too much, but it... feels good,” he breathed quietly.

With each thrust, Ivan grew more compliant beneath him, meeting him halfway, until his legs were quivering with loosely contained pleasure instead of nerves and fear.

“Good.”

Good and glad that it hurt, that it felt good, that Ivan was his, his, his. What a special occasion.

He leaned forward and wrapped an arm around Ivan's back, pressing them closely together while he used his other hand to finally pay some attention to his cock, stroking him slowly in time with the movement of his hips.

“I really won't leave you alone,” he reminded him, pressing his lips against his ear.

So close, he could tell. If it were possible, he could feel Ivan becoming even tighter around him. He hadn't known how long to expect him to be able to hold on for, but he had done so well. Yuri was shamefully close himself. He didn't want to waste a precious second of this feeling, but he knew that even the best of things had their limits and he was near to reaching his.

Ivan hid his face in his shoulder and groaned loudly, scratching his nails powerlessly against the back of Yuri's suit jacket. His legs wrapped themselves around his waist, holding them together tightly and he thrashed his head back into the pillow and even if Yuri had known that Ivan was going to come in that moment, he still wouldn't have known what to do to prepare himself for how _tight_ he felt when he did. Trapped in Ivan's hold, he couldn't have moved away even if he wanted to.

A minute later saw Yuri looking down at Ivan, fully expecting him to slap him for coming inside him, but he proved to be just as unexpected as Yuri had hoped. Instead, he put his arms around his shoulders and dragged him down for an actual kiss, the kind that made the one they had back in the foyer look like pornography in comparison. The absolute innocence of this kiss made him feel positively disgusting.

It was wonderful.

Ivan pulled away breathlessly and had to suck in a deep breath before he could say anything.

“A date. You fucking owe me one now.”

 

Had he fallen asleep? What happened again, exactly...?

Oh.

Oh, that was really nice. Nicer than nice, even. Except there was no Ivan asleep next to him when he woke up and there wasn't even a warm spot there to remember him by. Suddenly, he was fearing the worst. Maybe Ivan hadn't been as happy about all that as he thought he was. Maybe it was so bad that he had to leave as soon as he noticed that Yuri was asleep. Fear growing stronger with every sobering, waking second, Yuri threw off the covers and stumbled out of bed.

Somehow, he'd actually fallen asleep in his suit. One look in the mirror confirmed what manner of hell he looked like. Having on a full suit underneath layers of blankets must have been the cause of the sheen of sweat covering his face. Thankfully, it was Saturday, so he didn't have to worry too hard about what people would think about the circles under his eyes. He'd even left his pants unbuttoned but they were still _on._ He knew what a fool he would have looked like to anyone else.

He made his way down the hall and down the stairway as quickly as he could without tripping and stopped midway down the steps when he realized that he could smell something.

Instantly recognizing the sweet smell of pancakes and bacon, he laughed.

He laughed all the way to the refrigerator where he found the neatly handwritten note that was stuck there for him to read.

__origamically awoke with an arm around him._

_He blinked blearily and in an instant, the memories from the night before flooded his mind. There were warm lips against his neck and the arm around him tightened to bring him closer just a little more as his bed partner shifted in his sleep._

_Carefully, he removed the arm and slid out of the bed, sparing the real stophavingfun a kiss to the forehead. And a sigh. He didn't understand why he had to fall asleep in all his clothes._

_Whatever, he was going to go make breakfast for him._

_The real _origamically would see the real stophavingfun again._

_He still wanted to be courted properly, after all._ ♥

His life was officially fanfiction. Yuri really didn't know who was trolling who anymore. _origamically was damn good.


	17. Birds of a Feather Flock Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part includes the forum meet-up from the previous chapter, now from the perspective of the others.

A meet-up... They really had to be out of their minds now.

Karina had been trying to keep a mental list of who everyone was on the forum, but she was afraid she was losing track by now. It would have been a smart idea if she had started writing them down, but the thought just escaped her. She hadn't realized that so many of her fellow heroes would also end up on the site. Right now, she wished she knew how many of them to expect if she were to go...

It was a horrible idea – nothing was going to change that plain fact... But she was also really intrigued. Especially because it was getting hard to remember who was who, it would be interesting to see how many of them actually showed up at this party-thing. It would be a real shocker when they all figured out who had been saying what to each other on the internet. When she took a look at who had started this “bright idea” Karina added one of her friends to the immediate guest list.

_kgoodman3958_

She was really going to have to have a talk with Keith and explain to him why using his real name for his username wasn't a smart thing to do.

His plan was very last-minute, so she wouldn't have a lot of time to go out and get a new outfit to wear. It was probably going to feel like she was there with a bunch of her friends anyway, so there wasn't any point in getting too dressed up. After reading over this petition party plan of theirs again, she got up from her bed and started rummaging around in her closet for something that would make her presentable.

Did it really matter? It was going to be her... Keith... Ivan?

Was Ivan going? He sounded sort of interested yet unsure from what she had read in his comments. She knew how easily he got freaked out, but this seemed like it would be a good experience for him. It wouldn't do him any good to get cooped up in the house. Their last get-together had ended in moderate disaster, but this could be a good time for them to all let it go, right?

She dropped the top she was holding up to herself in front of her mirror and ran back to her laptop and quickly started to type out a private message.

_Yo, Ivan_  
**yukionna**  
Hey, are you going to go to this thing Keith is posting about? I'm thinking about going. Sounds like it could be good for everybody, you know? Who else do you think is going to go? I just don't want to go and then feel alone with a bunch of people I don't really know. 

_Re: Yo, Ivan_  
**_origamically**  
Yeah, that's... Kind of my feeling about it, too. I'd feel sort of weird around a bunch of people I just 'kind of' know. At the same time, I kinda wanna know what my fans look like, you know what I meeeean~? 

_Re: Yo, Ivan_  
**yukionna**  
No. I.  
Okay, yes, I know what you mean. But I already know what a lot of my fans look like anyway and I don't care. (They're all middle-aged perverts who just like me while I'm Blue Rose. How would you feel if you have older men after you who only want to do bad things to you? It's disturbing!)  
Anyway... It would be cool if you came. I'll let Pao-lin know in case she hasn't heard about it too, okay? 

_Re: Yo, Ivan_  
**_origamically**  
Okay, whatevs. Not like I really caaaare...  
Guh, I hope that Barnaby and Kotetsu-san are over that whole media thing by now. That was the most awkward night of my life. And I thought that the over 18 panel I did at Sternbild Anime Fest was the most awkward thing before so on a scale of 1 to WTF, I'd say that night out with everyone was pretty WTF+. （　´_ゝ`） 

_Re: Yo, Ivan_  
**yukionna**  
They're probably over it, knowing them. They're probably even...  
REMIND ME TO NEVER THINK ABOUT THAT AGAIN. 

_Re: Yo, Ivan_  
**_origamically**  
LMAO DID YOU JUST THINK ABOUT THEM FUCKING? OMG, GUUUURL.  
Ahaha... That sucks, tho. For you. But you know I got my own man-problems. I gotta find me a date or something. Not sure I'm gonna be finding anyone I'm interested in from the forums, though. lol Everyone is crazyballs. 

_Re: Yo, Ivan_  
**yukionna**  
Do you have man-problems? That's news to me. I didn't think there was anyone you were interested who wasn't 2D.  
But anyway, seriously. I'll call around. You better show up. 

It did... kind of sting to think that Barnaby and Kotetsu must have made up already. Karina felt terrible when she thought for even a split second that she would have been happier... if they hadn't made up. They deserved to be happy just as much as anyone – probably more than anyone else after some of the things they had gone through now, but... It was going to be a challenge to see them together if they both came to the meet-up.

She looked herself in the mirror and slapped both hands to the sides of her cheeks.

_Come on, Karina. You can do it._

If Ivan was going to be there on the prowl, then she was going to try her best too. So when she returned to her closet, she pulled out all of her sexiest items to make an outfit. This was going to be her battle gear.

Not that she was... trying to battle Barnaby for Kotetsu's attention, but...

She was going to do her best. She liked having something to feel motivated about anyway and it wouldn't do her any good if she sat around feeling bad about them. She was going to go to that meet-up and grab everyone's attention. If Blue Rose could do it, then she could, too.

 

She was a little late. Karina knew when the 'festivities' were scheduled to begin, but she assumed that the party wouldn't be much of a party until some people showed up. Also, she had the feeling that things would be weird if she showed up early to a _coffee shop_ of all places and sat around waiting. She waited at home for a while into the party time and then left once she felt like she wouldn't be alone there by herself.

It would have been nice if she had Pao-lin to go with, but Nathan told her that he would pick her up since she lived fairly close to his place. Hoping that they would be there already, Karina shot them a call. She got Nathan on his cell... and she could barely hear him.

_“You sound like you're at a concert!”_

_“Well, you'll see when you get here...”_

For some reason, that put memories of microphones and small stages in her head and she imagined Barnaby and Kotetsu doing a dance routine on the Buckstars register counter, but she really hoped that she was just going crazy and that nothing like that was actually happening. Were there really just _that_ many people already?

Surprisingly, the answer was _yes._

She had made herself up so nicely. Stepping into the coffee shop, she feared what would happen to her should she try to push her way through the gathered horde of people. If she walked in blindfolded, she would have been able to tell how many people were there based on the smell alone, which wasn't doing anything to help the mental image she already had of 'internet people'.

She would have poor luck trying to find a seat in the place, too. Most of the people were standing around, but that was because all the seats were already filled. It was surprising that anyone would even want to sit down in the middle with so many people hovering over them anyway. Whatever, that was their choice. Karina wasn't going to worry about other people; she was going to focus herself on making sure nobody touched her ass.

Once she got over the creepy shivers she got from all the unbathed attendees, she lifted her head and got up on her tiptoes and tried to look above the hundreds of heads to see if she could find her friends. She expected it to be harder than it was – it was actually pretty easy to find Nathan's tall, pink-haired self in a crowded room. She didn't even notice that Pao-lin was standing with him until she got close enough, she was so buried.

“You're late!” Nathan said as soon as she was close enough to hear. She still had to tilt her head to the side and think about what she thought she heard him say to figure it out. When she did, she furrowed her eyebrows at him and pouted.

“Not my fault! I didn't know there would be this many people here. I thought everybody would be too nervous about something like this to come to.”

“You obviously don't know anything about fans,” Pao-lin said, shaking her head.

“Hey, I have a lot of fans. I know what fans are like,” Karina tried to explain.

Pao-lin continued shaking her head and then waved around for her to take another look at the crowd. “Look around. These aren't really your kind of usual fans. It seems to me like everyone wanted to see what their online friends looked like in person. It's a good chance for people to talk in person about something they're really into, also.”

Nathan snickered. “Yes, there are a lot of Hero TV fans, but they aren't all into reading gay fanfiction about their favorite heroes, know what I mean?”

Coloring, Karina looked to the side. “That's... That's true.” He had a very valid point. Not everyone was an _origamically and not everyone was a hero. The Hero TV Forums gave a lot of people a place to talk about things they usually probably wouldn't talk about in person. When she glanced up, her eyes caught a nametag on Nathan's shirt that read _blazinglory__ , a name she found very familiar. “Wait...”

“Oh, my nametag?” he asked, noticing her interest in it. “Don't tell me you thought I was going to think this was just some good publicity or means of scouting out my fans. Of course I'm a member of the site.”

“Right... No, I sort of figured. I just didn't know that _you_ were _that_ blazinglory_... The one that writes all the Rock Bison and Fire Emblem stuff. But that figures.”

Nathan narrowed his eyes and huffed, one hand on his hip. “And? Got a problem with it? My stories are becoming pretty popular around the forums now, you know.”

How hard it was not to laugh at the ridiculousness. Nathan was a hero, not a writer. Sadly, she thought it showed – not that she was reading a lot of Bison/Fire Emblem stuff or anything... “Whatever you say. I know I'm not much of a writer so I don't even bother. I leave it all up to _origamically and I doubt anyone will be surpassing his popularity.”

Pao-lin bounced in between them. “You mean Ivan? I know he told me to stay away, but I couldn't help myself. I don't really post anymore, but I read some of his stories and they're _great_.”

_Oh no..._ Karina wanted to hide her face in her hands. Pao-lin was so innocent sometimes and she didn't even realize the bomb she had just dropped by letting that secret slip in front of Nathan. She really wished that Ivan had been there himself to tell him first.

“_origamically...” Nathan muttered, so quietly that Karina couldn't hear him at first. “You're telling me that _Ivan_ is _the_ _origamically? You have to be kidding me!” A second later, his face paled and he looked down at his glittery shoes. “Oh. Well that explains his reaction to the group get-together we had...”

“Yeah,” Pao-lin sighed, looking like she was reliving it just by thinking about it. “He got mad when he saw me on the site. He thinks we should keep our business off the forums and I kind of have to agree. It's been making a mess for all of us.”

But there was a reason for that, wasn't there? It was because none of them had recognized each other when they all had different usernames. How were they supposed to know that he was Ivan or that she was yukionna? Of course they were bound to treat each other differently if they weren't aware that they were really speaking to people they were already close to. That was just natural.

“I think it'll be okay now if we know who's who,” Karina said, brightening up.

“Yes, good idea, Karina,” Nathan praised. He had on a devilish kind of smirk, though. “Now let me get you a nametag so I can solve this mystery of who you are for myself.”

Fantastic, she thought, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Next to her, Pao-lin just smiled innocently and shrugged. Thankfully, at least she seemed to be over what had happened. Karina hadn't been there to see Nathan pick her up, but she assumed that the two of them must have talked about the night already and come to their own resolutions over it.

Now where was he getting this nametag from, exactly? She felt mildly impressed that he could even get himself around the place or that he'd even want to. She felt trapped already in her own little space next to the register with Pao-lin; she didn't want to think about wedging herself between all these sweaty bodies to get from one place to the other. Getting back up on her tiptoes, she scouted out Nathan's position and watched him shift and swerve his way carefully through the crowd until he reached...

Keith was there already! She hadn't even noticed him when she came in... Which, she realized, probably meant that their other friends might have been there around the place and she just hadn't noticed them yet. If Keith had been making as much of a fuss as he was right now when she walked in, then she was sure she would have noticed him. He was waving his arms animatedly at Nathan as he approached.

“Let's go see him, too!” Pao-lin suggested, tugging on the back of Karina's sleeve. “I'll hang on and follow you over,” she said, clinging to her shirt. That was a wise idea, lest the crowd try to separate them somehow. Pao-lin wasn't very tall and Karina had no doubt that she would completely lose her if they got pushed apart.

“Alright,” she said with a nod. “I'm not thrilled about moving in here, but let's do it. Can't sit in one spot at a party, can I?”

“Nope, you can't!” Pao-lin agreed. 

And so began the somewhat difficult journey across the shop. As expected, they ran into a lot of sticky, sweaty people and had to apologize just as many times and they only got their feet stepped on a couple times before they finally reached Keith and Nathan's location toward the middle of the room. Keith had his 'kgoodman3958' nametag proudly displayed on his chest, waving to everyone who walked through the door. Around them, people whose names Karina didn't even recognize were greeting him back cheerfully.

“Wasn't this a good idea?”

Karina didn't know what to say. Yes? She hadn't been around for long enough to be able to tell yet if this was a good idea or not. Her instant reaction had been a big NO in all capital letters. She wasn't sure yet if Keith knew that Nathan had wanted to pair him up with other heroes in fanfics yet – though Keith did seem a little inept when it came to those kinds of things so who knew if he had ever figured out what that even meant.

“Our dear Karina needs a nametag, Keith sweety,” Nathan purred, holding out his hand.

Grinning, Keith pulled out a nametag from the stack he had in his shirt pocket and handed it over to Nathan, then Nathan handed it to Karina along with a pen.

She looked down at the small piece of sticker paper as if she had just been handed a gun. Instantly, she was flying through her memory, trying to remember if she had ever said anything questionable to Keith online. No... No, she was pretty sure Nathan was the only one who had to worry. The only time she could remember talking to Keith herself was when he made his post about the meet-up.

Biting the bullet, she scribbled 'yukionna' across the nametag and stuck it to her chest.

Whatever. There. It was done now.

Pao-lin clapped her hands together next to her and then gave her a pat on the back. “You're one of us now!”

“I was always one of you. Both ways; online and off. D-don't talk to me like I've just become one of these internet people...”

“Oh, hohoho, sweety, but you are! For starters, I recall you being the one who wanted _origamically to help you make some Blue Rose fanfics. And...” Nathan had that dead-serious look on his face again suddenly, which then evolved into one of those terrifying faces that meant he was about to unleash his rage. In a deeper voice, he said very seriously, “That Ivan... He writes the Bison/Origami fics. _That's_ who he likes? Ivan is after _my_ Antonio?!”

Karina had immediate flashbacks to Ivan telling her about his 'man-problems'. Suddenly, that felt like it explained everything. Sort of. “Wait,” she said, waving her hands to try to calm him down. “What gives you the impression that he likes Antonio like that? I thought he was just writing these things because he wants to have internet popularity.”

Nathan shook his head sternly and Pao-lin and Keith followed him back and forth with curious, puzzled faces. “No. _origamically is a huge fan of that pairing and she... _He_ has mentioned that there's someone he likes who is like Rock Bison. Who else would he mean? He knows the real guy!”

Oh my... Now they really had stumbled onto something troubling.

“You should ask him!” Keith supplied.

“You should!” Karina agreed quickly. One of their problems all along had been their unwillingness to find out about things at their real source. She didn't want Nathan to start thinking up terrible things before he knew what the truth really was.

Nathan sighed, worrying the end of an acrylic nail between his teeth. “Alright, I'll ask,” he said. “If he even shows up, that is.”

That was fair. They already had about half of them right there in one spot, which was more than Karina had been expecting. She didn't know whether Kotetsu or Barnaby had even heard about this little function, but she was pretty sure that they were involved in the internet thing like the rest of them. They were at the center and that was what had bothered Ivan so much about it when they got together as a couple. She wondered if he had any proof to say that they were members of the site, though...

Right as she was thinking about who they were missing, the bell on the door chimed for the million time it seemed, except this time, it was Antonio at the door. Not quite who she had been looking for, but Nathan seemed pretty excited about it.

“My date has arrived!” he crooned, clasping his hands together in a lovey-dovey kind of way over his heart. As quickly as one could move in a living sea of people, they watched Nathan wiggle his way between everyone to get to where Antonio was standing. The three of them watched, eyebrows raised, as Nathan chatted up an Antonio who was already looking skittish among a large group of unfamiliar people before he had Nathan all over him.

“Well he's not coming back,” Karina said, stating their silent, shared conclusion.

“He's going to keep him now, isn't he?” Pao-lin wondered.

Keith grinned and tilted his head. “Keep him? Oh! It's fine if they go talk to other people around the party. That's what a party is for!”

“That's not quite what we...” Karina started, then shook her head and smiled, giving up. “Yeah, that's fine.” She preferred to think about it the way Keith was thinking about it. A party in this place wouldn't be fun if they tried to stick together anyway. They all had their own awkward histories involving the site and she could tell what kind of other conversations they would hold if they continued to think about where else they had seen each other on the forums.

“I'm really glad that so many people showed up. I knew this would be a good idea. Agnes is here with Mary, one of the other girls who work with Hero TV, which means that they'll probably go back and tell whoever's in charge of the site that they can't take away the off-topic board!”

“Did you talk to them yet?” Pao-lin asked.

Keith frowned. “I haven't made it over to them yet. I've been trying to say hello to everyone but it's really hard. People just keep coming.”

Karina touched his shoulder gently and then curled her fingers in his jacket. “We'll go say hello to them to then! Come on, let's go find them.”

The real reason she wanted to see them was because she hoped Keith was right. She wasn't too sure Agnes had anything to do with the site, though. She was the producer which was indeed a Big Deal, but that didn't mean that she was going to have any influence over the site for the show.

This time, it was actually Pao-lin who managed to spot them first and she pointed them in the direction of where they stood up against the far wall.

“Good eye,” Karina said, impressed. When they were about halfway there, the doorbell rang. Her heart leaped to her throat every time she heard the sound now, expecting it to be Kotetsu, although... She was just as surprised to see Ivan there standing in the doorway. “Pao-lin, it's Ivan. Ivan's here now.”

Pao-lin looked back over her shoulder at her with a sore expression and pointed again adamantly in their producer's direction. “We can go see him in a minute. Walking around in here is hard enough.”

“I... guess...” She just felt bad leaving Ivan alone. She knew how uncomfortable he was likely to be when he was surrounded by a bunch of strangers. She hoped it was a different story when they were clad in homemade hero costumes, though. Maybe it would feel like he was at one of those anime things... Conventions or whatever. It was similar, right?

Pao-lin was still trying to pull her along, but she waved her free arm in the air at him – and he totally didn't see her. He was standing at the door, his laptop hanging from his shoulder in his laptop bag and he looked like he wanted to leave already. But then, at least it seemed like he had noticed Nathan...

Nathan, who was standing with Antonio, still chatting with him like they were something serious.

And poor Ivan looked miserable when he saw that. By his reaction, it looked like what she'd heard from Nathan really was true. She didn't want to put any words in Ivan's mouth, but she felt bad for him if Antonio was the one he liked.

She didn't have much more time to think before Pao-lin stopped walking. Karina almost went crashing into her back, but she stopped herself just in time, even though she ended up standing awkwardly close to her from behind.

“Ah, Karina,” said their buxom producer, who reached out to grab her hand. “It feels good to see you here with the others. It's a tough business but it feels so good to see the fans, huh?”

At her side, Mary sulked with the kind of dreary black aura Karina had come to expect from her – at least where Agnes was concerned. “She's here for the same reason you're here. See the nametag?”

Karina's first instinct was to reach up and hide the name she had displayed on her shirt, but then she set her eyes on Agnes and Mary's nametags. These two were HeroLove and little_lamb? Then that meant that not only were they influential to the show, they were also influential on the forums. HeroLove's fanfiction was top tier stuff – not like Karina _cared_ about what she wrote, but she had definitely seen her around a lot and had unwittingly talked to her a number of times herself.

And Mary was the biggest moderator there was. If a post started getting out of hand, she was always there to put her foot down. (And now that name 'little_lamb' was starting to make sense... It was a groan-worthy name in itself, though. She sort of doubted that Mary was the one responsible for it. She couldn't be that uncreative, could she?)

“I... hope that my activity on the site hasn't done anything to change your opinion of me now...” Karina said honestly, lowering her head.

Agnes and Mary sighed and shrugged in tandem. “We've known who almost everyone was as soon as we saw them on the site. Agnes and I have always been aware of each other, so this kind of thing isn't actually that weird to us... Just a little bit, uh...”

Agnes pouted. “A little _what_ , huh?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Mary said. Her expression lightened at her partner's childish behavior. Even though Agnes seemed to annoy Mary a little, Karina thought they seemed a lot like sisters in a way. “I enjoy all of our members. You've been a really good sport on the site.”

It was a load off her shoulders to hear her say that for some reason, like being praised by a teacher. While that was reassuring, she didn't actually start talking to them because she cared about what their opinions on her were. She wanted Keith's question to be answered.

“Keith here had a question,” she said, pointing to him around Pao-lin.

Keith picked up his head as if he forgot he was even a part of the conversation. “Oh! Indeed, I have an inquiry.”

“Which is?” Mary asked.

“Now that you have seen how many people have come to the meet-up, do you think we'll be able to save the off-topic boards?”

“No idea,” Mary said dismissively. When Karina raised her voice and Pao-lin stomped her foot, she waved a hand at them both and looked back up at Keith. “Look. In case you forgot, I'm the one who said that I didn't have any control over it. I get my orders from elsewhere. I'm not even the person who is responsible for closing the board. If the switch were mine to pull, I'd hold my hand. However, there are other people who run the site and I'm not at the top of that totem pole. You just have to wait to see how this advance will affect their decision – if it does.”

“Look at you, sounding so official,” Agnes cooed, slinging an arm around Mary's shoulders, practically rubbing her chest up against Mary's side. “I bet that you could help them if you really tried. You're such a smooth talker.”

“Agnes, please...” she muttered, her cheeks getting red.

“Could you?” Keith asked, eyes wide with excitement. “Could you try to talk to the people in charge? The off-topic board is important to many people! They would be sad if it were gone.”

And how often was Keith on that part of the board...? Well, if he had to be on the forums at all, then it was probably best that he stick to the off-topic things where people didn't post all their explicit fanwork and theorize like crazy about the personal lives of the heroes. Off-topic was a much safer place for someone like him.

Mary shrugged a shoulder; partly at Keith's words and partly to try to get Agnes off of her. “We'll see, alright? I'm sure there will be a way to know how many people came here to the meet-up, so once I have a number or an approximation, I can tell the people in charge about it.”

“There you go, Keith,” Karina said, smiling.

“Indeed! I do hope that this will be-” He paused when he looked toward the door and if possible, his smile got even bigger. “More friends have arrived!”

More...

Oh, no. Just as Karina had dreaded, there was Kotetsu standing close to the entrance. Even worse than if he were there being escorted by Barnaby, he had a little girl with him. She was cute – _adorable_ even, but she looked so much like Kotetsu that she knew that it was his daughter. And that was fine. Except now she was remembering that _Kotetsu had a daughter_ who was probably a little more than half her age.

“Karina, let's go talk to Kotetsu,” Pao-lin suggested brightly with words that stabbed straight through Karina's heart unintentionally. “I think he has his daughter with him.” Double ouch.

“Uh... I was thinking of talking to Ivan first...”

She scoped out the room again, looking for where the little awkward otaku boy had gone. He wasn't where her eyes had left him last and she predictably didn't find him standing with Nathan and Antonio... She had to get back up on her toes to finally find him where he was sitting down against one of the other walls.

On the bright side, at least he hadn't completely left. She still probably had a chance to go talk to him, but who was the guy he was sitting with? A friend from the forums? There was something oddly familiar about him, but Karina couldn't place where she had seen him before so she let the thought go. He had a gaunt, but kind of handsome face from what she could tell from far away. If Antonio was Ivan's type, then this guy didn't look like someone Ivan would go after, but... He was holding himself and acting nervous in that girly sort of way that meant he wanted this guy to buy him a drink and...

Oh snap, the guy was getting up. He was buying him a drink! _Ivan..._

“Are you going to see him?” Pao-lin asked.

“N-no...” Karina said back, slowly tearing her eyes away from the mysterious guy as he approached the register. This had a chance of being excruciating, but she was going to have to find out how things were for Kotetsu and Barnaby anyway. Maybe it wouldn't be as painful as she expected it to be. Besides, she wanted to leave Ivan alone for now to see where this was going to go. _If_ it was going to go anywhere.

She grabbed Pao-lin's hand and gave it a squeeze to let her know they could move. “Let's go see Kotetsu.”


	18. Great Minds Think Alike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: I hope you don't mind this prompt, Writer-anon, but I was wondering if we could see Karina's reaction to Ivan and his ~mystery man/boyfriend(?)~? Like how will she ask him about it? Online or in person is fine! I just want to know how the drama unfolds!! XD

“So that guy you were with...”

“Y-Yeah? What about him?”

“That was...”

“It's none of your business! And you know who it was anyway. Don't start bugging me now. It's not like you don't know that I like him.”

Ivan looked back up at Karina and raised both of his eyebrows. They were back at the coffee shop, occupying the same seats Ivan had sat at with Yuri the day before. The night before was... It was an experience that he didn't have the time to replay in his mind just yet because at the moment, he was more concerned with what Karina's night-before had been like. Last he saw of her, she was talking with Kotetsu and looking unusually friendly about it.

“I didn't know you liked him,” he said plainly, then lifted his cup to his lips to take a sip of tea: orange pekoe. After taking a peek through his cupboards that morning, Ivan got the feeling that he should try new kinds of tea if he was going to be with Yuri.

Anyway, it looked like it was getting hard for Karina to swallow her drink. She had the cup held up in front of her face as if that was going to help her hide from the horrible, judgmental stare of her fellow hero.

That was what it looked like, at least. Ivan thought he was looking at her in a pretty fair way, knowing that it must have felt hard to admit her feelings like that to someone. Not that he was going to go start an advice column now or anything, but after last night, he felt like he had jumped the tallest hurdle of Awkward he had remaining in his life.

“He's pretty adorable, so I see the appeal,” he said.

Her face had reddened by at least five shades by the time she finally put the cup back down onto the table. “It's just embarrassing. I'm sure you can see all the reasons why it's weird for me to like him.”

“He's, like, double your age, has a daughter, and has a boyfriend.” Then he compared that mentally to what he had going on with Yuri. “It's not really _that_ weird. Except Barnaby would probably just laugh at you if you tried to make a move on him. Seems like those two are back to being good with each other again.”

“I see...” She cast her eyes at her lap and brushed a strand of hair out of her face, then twirled it anxiously around her fingers. “I'm not even sure how I just brought all this up. I mean, all you did was ask who I was talking to...”

“Because you looked so nervous. It was kind of cute in a way,” he said. Then immediately, he regretted that he said it because it made Karina go back to hiding behind the cup. “Ah. Not in an immature way or something. I just think it's nice to like someone.”

“I can't like him, though,” she said, fingers tightening around the cup to the point where Ivan feared that it would burst hot coffee all over the table. “None of those problems are problems of mine because the only problem I have is... liking him at all. It's just not possible.”

That was tough to argue. Unless she wanted to devise a way to steal Kotetsu's heart away from Barnaby, there wasn't a bright and happy future for her as Mrs. Kaburagi. Not to mention, if she wanted to do anything about her feelings... Well, what _was_ she going to do? Tell him? Pointless and embarrassing. Kotetsu was an oblivious guy as it was and if she tried to tell him about her feelings, she would get a nice pat on the head. Not quite the kiss of true love she probably wanted.

He didn't know what to tell her now, though. Maybe he was as bad at advice as he first thought.

“What do you think I should do?” Great timing for you to ask that, Karina.

There was only one honest answer. He wasn't about to take this down the anime road and tell her than she could win his heart by using all her _spirit_ or something like that. Today was not a day for ruining somebody else's love life and Karina didn't seem like the type who would try that, either.

So the only answer he could really afford to give was, “I... don't know.” All he could do was be glad that he wasn't in a position like her. The guy he liked was certainly not the type you brag to your friends about, but at least he wasn't married or in a relationship.

“It's alright,” she said, sensing how uneasy the question made him. “I guess there's no way you could know what to do...” Ivan would have had the decency to be at least a little offended by the way she worded that, as if he wouldn't know how to manage a relationship whether he had experience or not, but then she got this look over her face that made him stop. It looked like she had just realized something... or was thinking really intensely about something.

He gently poked her cup and looked up at her from under the hair that had fallen across his face. “Did you just zone out?”

“Actually, Ivan, I do have a question for you...”

“I'll answer anything to the best of my ability!” he said, but something about the way her voice had sounded when she said that had him feeling wary.

“So that guy you were with...” Now _that_ sounded familiar.

“What about him?” he asked, a bit more defensively than he intended for it to come out.

“He a friend of yours? Someone from the forums?” She tucked her hair behind an ear. “He looked familiar to me.”

He... didn't have to tell her too much, though. As proud as he felt about the fact that he _just had sex_ , he wasn't going to tell her about it. She didn't have to know that type of detail. But how was he supposed to answer this? He didn't know whether Yuri would like it if he divulged his identity to other people, especially someone else who was a member of the forums. Yuri was probably familiar to her for the same reason he had been familiar to him, which meant that she would likely recall who he was eventually. Lying to her about that part would be stupid on his part.

But what reason would he have had to have been talking to a judge? He couldn't make up an excuse for that on the spot. And now Karina was looking at him with her cheek in her palm, giving him a face like she really expected him to say something soon lest she suspect bad things.

“He's somebody from the forums who wanted to meet me.”

_Oh, well shit._ That came out too fast and was not what he meant to say. On the bright side, it wasn't a lie. However, now she was going to inevitably figure out who he was. Not that he... really wanted to hide a relationship, but. For the moment, it was in Yuri's interest that he keep her far away from the truth. How would it sound if she found out that a man of his age and occupation was fucking a – no. Again, he didn't need to go there.

Karina nodded. “I see.” He didn't trust that smirk. “I think I have an idea of who he is...”

“D-do you?” Curse his stuttering!

She leaned back in her chair, bringing her cup of coffee with her. She tipped the cup and finished it in one long drink, then set it back down with a flourish. “It's stophavingfun,” she said confidently.

Ivan's reaction was... undignified, to say the least. He was glad he hadn't taken a sip of his tea, otherwise he would have ended up with it all over the place. Still, he ended up leaning over the table, gripping the sides like it would anchor him down to earth, trying not to let this crazy reality take him away.

“Uh... That's, um... He's not... Ah...”

“Ohhoho,” she laughed, resting both elbows down on the table, linking her fingers together. “I'm right, am I? So then stophavingfun really _did_ buy you a coffee?”

He did a lot more than just that. Just the memory of Yuri's hands roaming all over him made him heat up until he was certain that he looked like a Christmas ornament. To hide the growing redness, he covered his face with his hands and scooted back in his seat. “W-whatever, he just bought me a coffee,” he mumbled. It was innocent. What they had in the coffee shop was totally innocent.

“ _Ivan_ ,” she said, reminding him for a second way too much of his own mom. “You don't _like him_ , do you?”

“Why not?” he asked, peeking out from between his fingers. “He bought me a coffee.”

Karina sighed heavily and pressed the heel of one hand to her forehead. “Just because he bought you something... Are you really that easy?”

“I-it's not just that!” he said defensively, dropping his hands back down to his lap where his fingers grabbed tightly onto his pantlegs. His voice got quieter and he mumbled, “It's like you're assuming something was even going on.”

Well... duh. And that didn't escape Karina, either. “Obviously something did happen, otherwise you wouldn't be getting all blushy right now. Ivan... You realize that he's, like, double your age, right?”

Ivan picked up his head and stared at her crossly. “I don't think he's double my age. Maybe, like, ten years older. Or... Fifteen-ish.”

“Double your age.”

“Hardly! And look who's talking! I bet you went to the meet-up just so you could see Kotetsu-san.” He felt kind of bad saying that, but the ball was already rolling. “It's not like you have any friends on the forum, so what other reason would you have had to go? At least... At least...” No, it felt way too heartless to try to compare Yuri to Kotetsu. The comparison was in his head and it was best to keep it there.

Karina looked pretty mad, though. And she was going to tell him why, he could tell already. “I went because of you guys. I went because I wanted to see my friends being friends again. I... I didn’t go because I wanted to impress him or anything!”

What a classic tsundere. At the point that she started getting defensive, Ivan relaxed and sunk down into his chair again. After her sudden outburst of emotional denial, Karina slumped in her own chair and stared at the top of the table.

“You can like who you like,” she mumbled. “But if he’s somebody dangerous...”

“He’s not!” Ivan tried to assure her, still resting back comfortably. He didn’t really have the energy to put up any more big arguments. After last night, he was sure that Yuri was a nice guy. Despite the impression people usually had of his... interests, he was actually really careful and considerate. “H-he seems like... a real gentleman to me.”

“That guy?” she asked incredulously. “Well, whatever. I guess online and offline can be pretty different. I certainly couldn’t picture _that_ stophavingfun buying you a coffee, after all...”

One day, Ivan wanted to discover what it was that made Yuri’s online persona seem so different from the way he really acted in person. Was there a way to say that one was more ‘real’ than the other? Stophavingfun sounded so... mad sometimes. A bad time at work? Or something else?

Ivan had to suppress a grin when he thought about how he may act now that they were... Now that they had a thing or whatever. Even if he didn’t make it obvious to other people, he was sure stophavingfun would treat him differently now. That made him sort of excited for the next time he would see stophavingfun online.

Karina moved a little closer, lowering her voice to just above a whisper. “Are you sure he’s the kind of guy you want to get involved with, though? I could just mind my own business. I mean, it’s not like you said you want to date the guy or anything, but-”

“ _E-eeh?_ ” That was an embarrassing noise. Ivan covered up his mouth immediately, but he couldn’t take back the sound he just made.

Karina waved her hands in front of herself defensively. “It’s not like I’m saying you were thinking anything like that! I mean, of course you wouldn’t be. But I mean, like, if you were- Er... Sorry,” she apologized at last, ending her tornado of wrong words. “You know what I’m trying to say, right?”

“Yeah, I... I know.”

Little did Karina know, however, he had already skipped past the romancing with Yuri and had gone straight to the hot and heavy. Now that he heard her talking like that and had his opportunity to reflect on it, maybe that had been a hasty decision after all. He didn’t want to do it with just anyone to say he did it, but he _did_ like Yuri...

“Anyway,” she said, finally moving them off the topic that had dominated their conversations. “I saw Keith again before I left the thing yesterday and he said that he wanted to have another party at his house.”

“ _Another_ party?” Ivan asked. What was he having another party right after the meet-up for? “Oh, like for us? I did feel a little awkward at the meet-up til I really started talking to stophavingfun and I hardly got a chance to talk to everybody else, so...” He stopped talking when he saw her shaking her head slowly. “Did I miss something? What kind of party is-”

“He’s inviting the whole internet,” she said. Ivan was sure his ears were deceiving him. “The whole internet,” she repeated, just in case.

Ivan tapped his fingers in a sunlit spot on the table, then reached for his cup and took a nice long drink. When he put the cup back down, what she said still didn’t make any more sense to him. “Why?”

“The cops will get called. Yesterday turned into a fire hazard after you left and they had to make some people go outside. I just hope for Keith that he doesn’t have any neighbors that get easily disturbed.”

There were bigger concerns than that to have. Who cared if their party got crashed by the police? “You know what kind of people he might be inviting over?”

“People like you. And stophavingfun. So yes, I’m aware of the perverts who will be there.”

She really didn’t know the half of it. But she was making a pretty big assumption here, too. It was like a coincidence that Yuri even bothered going to the meet-up, but did she really expect someone like him to show up at a more personal party at someone’s house? Yuri didn’t seem like much of a party-guy.

Ivan finished his drink. “He wouldn’t go.”

“You sound disappointed,” she said, smirking. “I didn’t know you liked parties. You would totally go if he went.”

“I-I don’t need to go to a party to see him.” It was a good idea not to say too much... But it was hard to explain that without giving an outright lie now and Karina was looking curious. Yeah, what exactly did that mean, Ivan? There was only one thing for that to mean. “Well, that is... He...”

“I get it.” Did she? “Sounds like you two are moving pretty quickly there.” Oh. “Just don’t get ahead of yourself, alright? I know you look out for me and... I want you to be happy, too.”

Ivan really did enjoy a good tsundere. Her embarrassment at expressing her own concern for him was rather cute. A day ago even, he would have fallen over if she gave him the tsundere treatment and asked him out, but it was a good thing that something like that would never happen. Because now, for some reason, Ivan was finding it hard to keep Yuri out of his thoughts.

Right now, Yuri was that guy he slept with.

But he was also that guy Ivan woke up next to. The morning after something like that was supposed to be weird, he thought. Looking at Yuri with his cheek pressed into his pillow, his hair sticking to his forehead, Ivan’s heart had leaped to his throat. Maybe something was there. Maybe. He could definitely feel something there but he needed to spend more than just one night with him to be sure.

“This party Keith wants to have, has he mentioned it to anyone else yet? When is it?”

“Dunno yet,” she said after taking a moment to _hmmmm_ thoughtfully. “I haven’t seen him talk about it on the forum yet, though. So that’s kind of a relief. Do you think I should tell him not to do it?”

A party just for them sounded like a good idea. Another party full of strangers from the internet _at Keith’s house_ sounded like a catastrophe in waiting. That was going to be his decision, though. “You can try to... gently tell him what we think. It might be pointless to try to stop him, though,” he said.

Karina sighed, conceding. “You’re right. Once he gets an idea, it’s hard to stop him sometimes. At least the forum thing was pretty good yesterday, even if it was really cramped and hot in here.”

Ivan had to agree. Once they fell into a silence after that, he started to wonder about whether Yuri would want to go to such a party or not. He probably wouldn’t... But if he did, that would give Ivan another excuse to see him. At the moment, he had no idea what Yuri thought of him aside from possibly ‘attractive enough to fuck’, but he knew that he wanted to find out if there was anything more to it. Or at the very least, if he would want to do it again.

Ivan picked up his cup with what remained of his tea and gave Karina a polite nod before sliding out of his chair. “I’ll think about it,” he said. “The party.”

As soon as Ivan stood, Karina had her purse in her lap and was quickly flipping open her phone to start texting. “I’ll ask Keith about the details.” She waved at him without looking up from her phone as Ivan started to walk away. “I’ll text you back once I know what he’s doing then.”

“Alright. Thanks.”

He felt like he should have given her some parting words about Kotetsu. Even though they spent that whole time talking, he still felt like he didn’t hear enough about what happened. It sounded to Ivan like she had just talked with him at the meet-up like any other time and nothing came from it except for some possible headpats and nice words. That was Kotetsu alright. Kotetsu being Kotetsu... Poor Karina.

For now, he was going to go back home and jump online. If he approached the subject smoothly enough, he hoped to have a chance of convincing Yuri to come to Keith’s party. Or...

Or maybe if he adamantly refused, he would just find something else they could do with each other instead.


	19. A Word to the Wise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: Keith decides to throw a party for his friends.  
> Unfortunately, he also invited the internet!  
> "PARTY AT MY PLACE! COME ONE AND ALL!!!... I wonder if there'll be enough chips and dips?"

_YOU ARE ALL INVITED TO A PARTY!_  
**kgoodman3958**  
_Hello, citizens of the internet!  
While we have yet to hear about what the higher-ups thought about our meet-up, I don’t think it could ever be too early to celebrate! It was fantastic and wonderful to meet all of you last week and I would love to see you guys again to get to know you better. What better way than to have another party? I suggested it earlier and many seemed to enjoy this idea, so I’ve decided on a date._

Below that message, Keith conveniently left his phone number and home address.

“This is Keith, right?” Barnaby asked, craning his head back to look at Kotetsu upside down behind the couch. Kotetsu was struggling to put on a tie while he held the toast he made for breakfast between his teeth. It must have still been pretty hot because the butter looked like it was going to slide right off the side and cause big problems for his shirt.

Not wasting a second, Barnaby set Kotetsu’s laptop aside and jumped over the back of the chair to grab the tie for him. He just couldn’t stand to see a shirt get ruined so early in the morning by such carelessness. “Watch your toast,” he reprimanded, pushing the edge of the slice up to make it more level, saving the butter from going any farther.

“I got it, I got it,” Kotetsu said rather incomprehensibly from behind the toast in his mouth. He reached up and took a bite to swallow, then finally returned to what Barnaby was originally asking about. “Keith?”

Barnaby took the mess of a knot Kotetsu had made out of the tie and started all over again, putting it back around his neck. “Yeah, I think he just made a post about-”

“Weren’t we going to stop using the site...”

Barnaby looked down and to the side, his hands halting briefly on the neat knot he was forming. “I don’t recall saying something like that. It’s a good communication tool.”

Kotetsu smiled wanly and patted Barnaby’s head with the hand that wasn’t preoccupied with toast. “That’s very true. It can be really useful in the right hands.” His hand slid down to his shoulder as he finished up tying and tightening his tie. “But we know how clumsy my hands are now. You’re probably better off using it than I am.”

Those were the words that made Barnaby start to question whether it was a good idea for him to bring up what Keith was planning. On one hand, he really didn’t want to see him start to go down the road they had gone of misusing the site, but at the same time... another party. If he mentioned that detail to Kotetsu, he sort of already knew what kind of response to expect.

“Let’s see then...” Kotetsu mumbled after Barnaby released his tie. He slipped away easily and before Barnaby could think of what to do to keep him away from the laptop, he was already on the couch with it in his lap, reading the post.

“Ah... He’s...”

One of his partner’s eyebrows raised and then the other joined it as he apparently read over the part that revealed his phone number and address. “Oh, Keith,” he sighed, taking a dramatic bite out of his toast. “Depending on how this goes, it could be worse than what happened with us.”

“Much, much worse, you mean,” Barnaby said, sitting down next to him on the couch. He took the laptop from him and placed it into his own lap, ignoring the blush he felt creeping across his face when he realized it was still warm from Kotetsu’s legs. He temporarily shook that from his mind so he could refresh the page to see if Keith had posted anywhere else in the thread yet.

Upon refreshing, he found several new posts; mostly from users who seemed to be excited about the prospect of a party, but thankfully, were just as perplexed by it as he and Kotetsu were.

_**yukionna**  
Okay, I wasn’t going to say anything at first, but I’m not sure if this is the best idea, kgoodman..._

_**blazinglory_**  
Oh? A party? Well, it’s nice to know I’ll be invited because I adore parties. Although... I’m not sure if this is the best idea. Maybe you should ask people to RSVP first so you know how many people to expect? When you say ‘everyone’ and ‘the internet’, I’m imagining the entirety of the internet showing up at your house. And I know what your house looks like. I can’t imagine it’s much bigger inside than it seems to be from the outside._

_**barnabysfuturewife**  
Mr.goodman this is a bad idea. think abiut how many ppl are going to shwo up at your house if you invite EVERYONE. my dad tought me not to let strangers into the house. you dont kno what kind of people will show up!_

“That’s my girl,” Kotetsu cooed with a dopey smile on his face after he read Kaede’s response.

“Wasn’t she going to change that username?” Barnaby wondered out loud.

“Why should she? Both of us could be named barnabysfutu- Er... Well, both of us would be grooms, huh?”

“Obviously. Unless you have an interest in wearing a frilly wedding dress that I’m unaware of,” Barnaby said, though he realized that it was probably something that didn’t deserve a real response to dignify it. “Anyway. What do you think of what Nathan said?”

“Nathan...?” Kotetsu asked absently, then at once seemed to remember. So it seemed that he had already forgotten who was who after the meet-up. He put a thumb to his lower lip and leaned over to read what he wrote again. “Yup,” he said, “that sounds like Nathan.”

Barnaby flicked him on the forehead and Kotetsu winced and flinched back on his couch cushion. He was either dense, had a horrible memory, or was just trying to be cute. It was hard to tell. “Do you think RSVPing will save him from being flooded by guests?”

Kotetsu rubbed at the stinging spot on his forehead. “Realistically? No, I doubt it. If you invite the internet, you’re going to get the internet.” He paused. “Probably. I mean, it’s not like I’ve got experience in holding parties for the internet, though.”

He hummed softly to himself and stared at the reply box, unsure of what to say back to this most ludicrous of posts. In the meantime, he gave it a refresh and when it reloaded, Keith had finally returned with a new post.

_**kgoodman3958**  
Indeed, I will take your concerns into consideration! This is why I am posting, though. I wanted to see how many people would want to come. What kind of party would you like it to be? What sort of decorations should I have? Will you be bringing food?_

_**barnabysfuturewife**  
Can it be a costume party?!_

Kotetsu leaned over again and grabbed the edge of the laptop screen hard enough that Barnaby feared he was going to crack it. “Why is she sounding excited now? I thought she was against this!”

“Every child likes a party,” he said. Sighing, he pushed up his glasses and continued to read.

_**get_the_horns**  
A costume party, huh... I don’t know._

_**blazinglory_**  
DO IT! YOU MUST DO IT. In fact, I will come over right now and start taking your measurements to get to work on a costume for you to wear. Give me just a second and I’ll be right over~_

_**OMGILOVEPORNnBL**  
i looove parties. (this sounds right up my alley. i wonder what i’ll wear?) i can make some food for you, if you like. you can trust that i’ll be there!_

_**kgoodman3958**  
Oh, good! That sounds fantastic if you would be willing to bring some food. Now we need someone who will help handle the beverages. I want to be sure I’ll have enough for everyone. Wear whatever kind of costume you like, too. Just be sure it’s appropriate because there may be some younger friends attending!_

Kotetsu had his head held in his hands already, looking like he’d finally lost faith in humanity. Barnaby wasn’t going to show it in quite the same way, but he could sympathize. It sounded like their friends and some of these people he didn’t know had recognized what a potentially dangerous idea this could be, yet they instantly turned around the second he mentioned food.

Kotetsu was saying something... he thought. He had to lean in close to hear the Saito-volume mantra he was repeating to himself.

“...let her... can’t... Wouldn’t let Kaede wear something inappropriate!”

“Obviously,” he replied. He was aware that Kaede couldn’t go anywhere doing anything without her father voicing his opinion. Whether she listened to him or not was usually up to her, though. But Barnaby didn’t have any worries. She didn’t seem like that type of girl.

What a protective father... Barnaby was guilty of smiling for a second.

“I guess... we’re going to have to RSVP.”

“ _What?_ ” This was why he didn’t want to tell him in the first place. He wanted Keith to be safe and he felt relieved for a while when Kotetsu thought the party wouldn’t happen, but now he was jumping on board like everyone else. “We’re going to go to this party now? What’s wrong with you.”

“Nothing at all,” he said, a chilling grin widening his smile. “It’s just that I thought of a nice costume for you.”

“No! We’re _not_ doing this and we have to convince him that it’s a bad-”

Kotetsu snatched the computer. The next few minutes for Barnaby were spent yelling and pounding on the bathroom door, trying futilely to stop him from replying. He imagined Kotetsu sitting on the toilet with the thing in his lap as he shouted back childishly, “It’s my laptop! I can do what I want!”

“Are you _five?_ ”

Of course, there was no response to that. A minute later, the bathroom door was unlocked and Kotetsu stepped out, smirking like the cat who’d caught the canary.

“We’ve got a week to find our costumes.”

 

Barnaby was not going willingly, needless to say. As much as he tried to escape it, Kotetsu still managed to get him out to look for costumes, somehow. That outing didn’t last too long. He walked into a party store with him and nearly bled from the eyes every time Kotetsu held up a ridiculously skimpy number for his approval. After the fifteenth “no”, Barnaby rejected the nurse outfit he was holding and escaped from the store.

He didn’t want to go to the party, mostly because he _knew_ it was going to be another crowded mess (possibly worse than the crowded meet-up) but the costume requirement made him even less interested in going. He liked being around the others, though... And he liked Kotetsu’s enthusiasm...

Which is how he found himself back at the store later that night. He hated that disappointed look Kotetsu gave him. He eventually apologized for trying to be funny with the little outfits, but somehow, it left Barnaby feeling like he was the one responsible for hurting his feelings. When he went back to the store, he took a glance at some of the things Kotetsu tried to show him and realized that some of them weren’t as bad as he thought during his initial blinding frustration.

Kotetsu had seemed fond of the thought of them matching with their costumes. One idea involved these adult pajama-looking things... Barnaby turned the tag on a penguin one over in his hand and found out that they were called ‘kigurumi’. And they were... expensive. Nothing he couldn’t handle with a credit card, but still. What made costumes so expensive?

He searched the rack and easily found ones that matched them - a bright orange tiger and a pink rabbit.

He returned to Kotetsu’s home with the costumes just in time. He found Kotetsu sitting on the couch, a frown on his face, flicking through channel after channel on the TV in disappointment. It was like he hadn’t even heard him come in until he put the bags down next to him. Slowly, life returned to his face when he realized what the bags had to be.

He ran off with the bag and put on the tiger kigurumi with all the excitement of a small child on their birthday, then stood admiring his own image in the mirror for a while. The oversized hood and the baggy spaciousness of the torso didn’t help in erasing the mental image of a little Kotetsu out of his head.

Barnaby just hoped that he wouldn’t act so immature when they got to the party with these.

The night of the party, Barnaby took another look at the post to confirm Keith’s address (and was horrified that it was still in the post) and then they set out in their costumes to join them. It was embarrassing enough sitting in the car next to Kotetsu wearing a ridiculous pink bunny suit. He kept hoping the whole time that nothing would happen to make a cop pull them over because he didn’t think he could live down his embarrassment if people saw him wearing such a thing.

And then there was Kotetsu sitting next to him with the hood up already, grinning with his hands gripping the wheel, looking like he was already having the time of his life. Barnaby dearly hoped that the people at the party wouldn’t recognize him under the hood. Now he was wishing that he had put on some type of face paint to try to cover himself further. As it was, he was likely to get swarmed by a bunch of curious fangirls and he _did not_ want to see a picture of this outfit online.

Before they even made it to his house, they noticed... traffic. Not enough to block them up for very far, but Keith’s street was certainly packed with cars, everyone looking for a place to park. Barnaby had no doubts that the cops would come by and ticket some of these people for parking in ridiculous, illegal spots. Like on somebody’s front lawn.

Well, that was a great sign already. But Barnaby didn’t want to activate his sarcasm to its fullest capacity just yet. He would reserve that for later when things had the potential to get worse.

They went inside along with a few other party-goers who were dressed more for a punk rock concert than a costume party. But maybe those really were costumes and they actually looked a lot more average in their everyday time.

They had thought it in their best interest to arrive a little early just to be able to talk to Keith, but it seemed like there were enough people already to keep him distracted. Fortunately, they could still see the living room floor for the most part. That was a good sign.

“Y-You guys!”

That was a familiar voice. Barnaby kept his head low under the hood and looked to the right near theTV where he discovered Karina waving at them sheepishly from the couch. At first, he didn’t even think about what she was wearing since it had some similarities to her Blue Rose costume, but once he got closer, he realized that she must have been dressed as Cinderella.

He decided to ask just to be sure. “Cinderalla?”

Kotetsu gawked and made an impressed sound which made her cross her arms over her chest and blush. “Yes,” she said. “It was a costume I had from Halloween last year...”

The slim blue dress was a lot more modest than her hero costume, though. If he hadn’t known it was a costume, he could have imagined her going to prom in such a dress. Kotetsu plopped himself down on the cushion next to her and grinned.

“What do you think?”

She was pretty red. “It’s really... Cute.” He noticed that she was trying not to look directly at either of them, but he felt like he could understand. He hoped that everyone could be like her and keep their eyes off his face anyway. “Those are appropriate costumes for you.”

“I thought so, too. It was all Bunny’s idea, though,” he said, offering him the credit, even though the idea started as his. “By the way, know who else is coming? I wanna see what the others will wear.”

Karina looked thoughtful for a second. “Nathan’s already here. He’s... somewhere. I think he’s helping Keith in the kitchen? Antonio may show up, but I don’t know. Pao-lin wanted to come, but not sure how she’s getting here, and I know that Ivan isn’t coming. He called me a couple hours ago and said he had ‘plans’ already.”

“Ah... I understand if he doesn’t want to come. I know he doesn’t like being around a lot of people, but it’d be good for him if he came to things like this, you know?”

“Yeah...” The uncertain, quiet tone she used made Barnaby wonder if she knew what his ‘plans’ referred to. Kotetsu wasn’t going to pick up on it, but it sounded like she knew more. He wasn’t going to push the subject, though. He knew Ivan wasn’t the type who would get himself into trouble or anything, so whatever he was doing was his own business. That just made one less person to witness him dressed like a pink rabbit anyway.

“Well, we’re here and we’ll help Keith keep the party under control,” Kotetsu said confidently. “That’s all that matters.”

“That’s true.” She smiled softly and then lifted a hand to point to the hallway behind her. “In that case, you may want to go check on how he’s doing back there. Keeping things under control might also include keeping Nathan’s hands to himself.”

Kotetsu’s grin faltered as he apparently thought about fond memories of Nathan invading his personal space. “Yeah, you’ve got a point.” Kotetsu stood and grabbed onto Barnaby’s sleeve to guide him toward where Karina had directed.

Barnaby had to hide his disgust when he saw that there were already people making out in the hallway. The people online all came across as recluses, so he was a little surprised to see that kind of thing already happening here. Especially at someone’s _home_. Did they not have their own bedroom? There was a time and a place...

“Hey, Bunny, do you wanna...” The deep, husky sound of Kotetsu’s voice made his heart leap, but he at once gave him a burning stare, even if he knew that he had to be kidding.

“No,” he said firmly. “Like I would-”

“Joking, joking,” he reassured, gently removing his hand from his sleeve. At least he didn’t look disappointed, otherwise Barnaby really would have worried. “Let’s say ‘hey’ to Keith. Hope he hasn’t done anything to burn down the kitchen yet.”

Barnaby secretly found that a little funny, considering that he had Nathan with him. That way, they may have been two times as likely to set the place on fire. However, there was no smoke in the hall and certainly no fire in the kitchen when they walked in. At the sink was Keith in a white apron that must have belonged to Nathan, diligently arranging slices of meats and cheeses on a platter as Nathan stood over him and supervised.

Nathan himself was dressed like a...

A, uh...

After a moment of standing without speaking, the two of them picked up on the presence of their visitors and turned around with surprise and delight on their faces. Although, catching the curious and confused look on Barnaby’s face, Nathan immediately explained.

“I’m a princess.”

The thing about that was, Barnaby was pretty sure his dress would have required more fabric to make him look like a princess. This looked more like... Well, if he wasn’t saying it out loud then he could at least be honest with himself.

It was short and made of too much pleather and lace to be a real dress and made him kind of look like a hooker. But then again, that was what the things at the costume store looked like. So maybe he was on the right track in... a way.

Then again, he had Karina’s princess dress to compare and contrast him to already.

“That’s some outfit, Nathan,” Kotetsu responded.

“You two are quite adorable yourselves,” he purred admiringly.

“I heard you’ve been helping out Keith?”

“I have,” he proudly said, putting his hands comfortably on Keith’s shoulders. Keith budged not an inch and continued laying out the assortment as if it were the world’s most important job. It was almost like he was oblivious to all else in his dedication. “I’ve had him doing the easier things and I’ve handled the stove.”

Now that he mentioned it, Barnaby noticed that there were a number of cakes and cookies out on the table already. “You made all these?” he asked.

“Dear, of course not. I’ve only made half of these things. The rest have been contributed by the other guests.”

Oh, only half. That was still an exponential amount. And if that was all made right now in the kitchen... He must have been hanging around with Keith for quite a while.

While they talked, a couple new female guests stepped into the kitchen giggling and stopped for a second when they noticed that they were being watched. One of them was dressed like a bee, the other a flower.

The bee held up a covered aluminum baking pan. “Where should I put this?”

Nathan pointed back into the general direction of the living room. “You can set that out in the living room now. I bet some people out there are getting hungry already. Just put it on the table in front of the TV.”

The two nodded and went off.

“I guess it’s filling up, huh,” Kotetsu said as he watched them leave.

“The more the merrier, as they say,” finally spoke Keith. He placed down the last slice of pepperoni and triumphantly handed his arrangement to Nathan. “Your costumes are very nice. I think they really work for you. Are you ready for a night of fun and festivities?”

Barnaby wasn’t sure he was ready to agree that their costumes worked for them. It worked for Kotetsu in a weird, endearingly cute kind of way. For him, however... Also, he’d know whether he was ready for the festivities when he saw what they were going to be. At the moment, it was a bunch of people in costumes standing around and talking.

...Maybe he just didn’t go to enough parties.

Suddenly, there was music - loud music.

Nathan whipped his head in the direction of the sound and his eyebrows creased slightly and he gave a soft laugh. “Sounds like someone found your speakers, sweetie. It was only a matter of time though, I suppose.”

“I don’t mind if they put some music on. That will help the party get started,” he said. He patted Nathan on the shoulder and then moved to retrieve a few of the covered plates from the table. “We should go put out some of this food now.”

Cookies and cakes held precariously in his arms, he left the kitchen. The remaining three looked at each other.

“What is he supposed to be?” Kotetsu asked at last once Keith was gone.

Nathan sputtered and then held up a hand to his mouth as he laughed. When he settled down enough, he answered. “He didn’t know what to be and I had an apron that I wanted him to use, so he decided to be... He decided to be a housewife!”

That was enough of that. Barnaby made sure his hood and hair were properly covering enough of his face and walked out of the kitchen ahead of them. He did his best to see past his bangs when he walked into the dimly lit living room and wondered for a moment why it was still hard to see. Then he realized how many new people had been introduced to the room.

“Hey now, don’t get lost,” Kotetsu said, putting a hand down on Barnaby’s fuzzy pink shoulder from behind.

He turned around slightly got closer to make sure he would hear him. It sounded like they had turned up the music by ten levels since he left the kitchen. “I won’t get lost. The house isn’t that big. But what about Keith? This can’t be good.”

Kotetsu looked as though he was thinking about it for a moment and then nodded slowly. “This may have been a bad idea after all.”

Barnaby wanted to throw his hands in the air. Why was he going to admit that now after they discussed it earlier? This was more of a fire hazard and a liability than a party. People were already drinking and Barnaby was almost certain that Keith wouldn’t have set that out for his guests when he was expecting some younger attendees. In fact, he only felt more worried when he looked around and realized that there _were_ younger kids around. The ones he could spot were about high school age and they definitely weren’t old enough to drink.

Kotetsu patted him on the shoulder with a grin. “I’m going to go find where Karina is. I don’t want to let any creepy guys try to hit on her.” He only sighed and waved his hand to make him leave. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he said, and with that, leaned in quickly and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

By the time he registered what happened, Barnaby was ready to slap him one, except Kotetsu was already gone. He held a hand to his cheek and pulled down the hood a little lower.

Until the party was going to meet its inevitable end, he decided that he would have to take it upon himself to police it and make sure no one got into any serious trouble. That meant making frequent trips past Keith’s bedroom and guest room in the event that something unsavory was happening as a result of alcohol.

On one occasion, he ran into a group of teenagers drinking beers in the hallway by the kitchen and he stole them quicker than they could protest and poured them out in the sink.

That was when he discovered John.

In the past, he had only heard about Keith’s animal friend but had never had the opportunity to meet him for himself. Keith talked about him as if he were a person, so he felt a little like he was already familiar with him. However, this John was a lot different from the one he had heard him mention. Instead of the playful and energetic dog he expected, he found John huddled under the kitchen table looking neglected and probably not a little scared.

When Barnaby leaned down, he thought it looked like there was something on John’s head. With a gentle voice, he called out to him and held out a hand to beckon him forward. He stayed still for a moment like that until he heard John whimper. A second later, he emerged from under the table to sniff at his hand and licked his fingers when he decided he was a friend.

The thing on top of his head turned out to be a tiny party hat. Around his neck was a Hawaiian lei. He really hoped that such had been Keith’s idea and not a prank pulled by someone at the party.

It looked really cute on him though, he had to admit.

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “I’m not really here for the party either.”

He leaned down and lightly held onto John’s collar and started to lead him toward the hallway. If John saw all the people out there, he would go right back to hiding under the table and Barnaby was sure he knew of a better place for him right now. So instead of letting him hole himself up in the kitchen, he guided the restless dog between the people in the hallway and opened the guest room.

First, he had to evacuate the couple groping each other in there and then let John go inside.

“You can stay in here for now,” he told him. He pet his back until he felt he’d calmed down more and then got up to leave. He didn’t think it would be wise to lock him in there alone if he didn’t know how Keith would unlock it later from the outside, so he left it unlocked and prayed that no one would disturb him.

He was doing pretty well at this Party Police thing, he thought. That was, until he saw Kotetsu again.

Roughly an hour had gone by since the time they split ways. The house had filled up to near max capacity and now it seemed as though the alcohol had passed through enough hands to finally reach his partner.

He found him more or less where he expected him to be; sitting on the couch, talking loudly at Karina who was blushing and shifting around in her seat uncomfortably, which left no doubts to Barnaby that he was saying something inappropriate. On the other side of Kotetsu sat someone who was dress as a football player who, upon closer inspection, turned out to be Antonio.

And go figure, Nathan was drinking, but was keeping his hands to himself, lounging leisurely in one of the surrounding seats as he sipped a fruity-looking something or other.

But, for as loud and drunk as Kotetsu was, he was not the center of attention here. The one everyone was really paying attention to was Keith, who was currently sitting on the floor between the couch and the table, talking with wild, drunk hand gestures to the guest who was sitting on the other side of the table. Barnaby had to get closer if he wanted any chance of hearing what they were discussing.

“And that’s how you should do it!”

It sounded as though Keith had just concluded whatever he had been explaining.

The guest, who was dressed like an Egyptian, dabbed at the corners of his eyes and barked out a couple laughs. “That was... priceless advice. Thank you!”

Keith nodded and straightened his apron while the costumed guest stood to leave. Once he was up, he patted his friend who was waiting on the shoulder and they switched places.

There wasn’t enough room for him to fit between Karina or Antonio for him to sit on the couch next to Kotetsu (also why he suspected Keith was on the floor), so Barnaby nudged his way past a few people so he could lean on the back of it. Even when he was hovering over him, it was as though Kotetsu was in his own drunk land and hadn’t noticed him at all, grinning from ear to ear while he watched Keith consult with the new guest.

“What exactly is going on here?” he asked.

Kotetsu jumped, just confirming the fact that his beer goggles were restricting his peripheral vision. “OH, Barnaby! Oh whoa, I didn’t see you there, come here!” He reached up to pull him down to him but Barnaby easily slipped away from his clumsy limbs.

“Would you not bring attention to me like that?” he asked, his eyes darting around to make sure no one had noticed that he was The Barnaby. He pointed at Keith and Kotetsu’s eyes slowly followed. “What are you guys doing?”

“Keith is giving advice!”

“Please tell me you aren’t making money off of this.”

He really, really hoped they weren’t. The guests were obviously just forming a line now so they could ask Keith the most ridiculous things they could think of to see what sort of ridiculous, drunken answer they would get back. This next guest’s question was strange for sure and it left Barnaby’s ears feeling vaguely offended.

“Mr. Goodman, my boyfriend and I have been having sex without protection,” started the male guest. Barnaby stared at the back of his head, fearing where it would go. Next to them, Nathan leaned closer in out of curiosity. “I’m worried that I may have gotten him pregnant. Is that even possible? I want to keep the baby, but I don’t know if we’re ready...”

Nathan gave an incredulous laugh and sat back. “ _Oh?_ ”

“Is your boyfriend a robot?” Keith asked seriously.

The boy stifled a laugh. Barnaby’s eyebrows narrowed. How was this even happening... “No, he’s not a robot.”

“Have you experienced love with him at night? You may want to get him an examinations and be sure to communication because it's a big step in becoming a parents.”

The Egyptian boy grabbed his arm and dragged him onto his feet. For some reason he was blushing... Maybe he was the one carrying this unexpected male robot child. The boy thanked Keith while his boyfriend dragged him away.

“I’ll put the rest of my advice on my post for you!” Keith called after them.

Barnaby didn’t take his eyes off the boys as he sat down where they had been. He got yelled at by a few people who were apparently ‘in line’ before him, but he waved a hand dismissively.

Keith smiled kindly up at the line of guests. “Nothing worries! He’s a friend of mine.” He lifted a rather hideous china cup in the shape of an elk’s head to his lips and realized with a disappointed face that it was empty. When Barnaby saw him go for another beer on the table to refill it, he put a hand down over his to stop him. They didn’t need his answers getting any drunker.

“Keith, do you even see what this party has turned into?” He regretted asking. Maybe it was best if Keith didn’t think too hard about that right now. He’d just be sad if he thought his party wasn’t good.

Keith just blinked at him innocently and then asked, “Do you want my advice too, Barnaby?”

“No, I-”

Someone placed a plate down in the center of the table right in front of him, replacing the empty tray that had been sitting there. It was filled with an assortment of colorful sugar cookies that were shaped to resemble the masks of the heroes. He looked up to see who’d placed it down and instantly realized what a dumb idea that had been.

When he titled his head up, he left his face completely unhidden. Looking up was like looking into a mirror because the girl who stood over him looked just as surprised as he felt.

It looked like she was dressed up in what was supposed to be Origami Cyclone’s outfit without the mask, though it was a little on the amateurish side as far as costumes went. He had to admire her dedication, though. He soon found the ninja-samurai girl sitting very closely within his personal space. (And while he was distracted by this invasion, Keith had refilled the ugly elk cup.) Barnaby had bigger things to worry about than Keith’s state of drunkenness, though.

He was surprised that he had gone this long without anyone recognizing him...

“Are you... Are you really...?” Thankfully, the girl didn’t say more than that. Her delicate red bangs fell in front of her face as she looked at him with girlish enthusiasm.

“I, ah...” Well, he couldn’t just announce it right there. It didn’t even feel wise to admit it quietly, so he just gave her the smallest of nods to confirm her suspicion.

Immediately, from some compartment she must have built somewhere into her costume, she pulled out a camera and before he could object or even agree to taking a photo with her, she put her face down close to his and held up her camera to snap a shot. After the flash went off, he felt like his eyes would never be the same.

“I can’t believe I finally got a picture with you!”

He continued to blink his eyes, hoping the spots weren’t going to stay there permanently. “Finally?” he asked, pinching the bridge of his nose under his glasses.

The camera was stashed back to wherever she’d taken it out from. Somehow, he still managed to miss where it was going the second time. “I love to follow the heroes. Uhhh... There are some bad kinds of names people call somebody like that, but I promise I’m not one of the crazy ones! I just want to get my picture with everyone.”

Not crazy. Alright, he would give her the benefit of the doubt. Still, he was glad that she wasn’t aware of how many hereos she was in the presence of.

“Listen, you have to promise not to share that picture, okay?” He didn’t mind so much that a fan had taken a picture of him - but a picture of him in a bunny suit? That would not do. “I would not be happy if a lot of people saw me wearing this. It’s fine right now because it’s a little dark in here and most people here are drunk, but...”

She nodded and held up a little OK sign with her thumb and forefinger for him. “Don’t worry. The picture won’t go anywhere!”

“Good... Thanks.”

“N-no, thank _you_ ,” she corrected. She gestured to the plate of cookies she left on the table for them as she stood back up. “Make sure to try one of my cookies, ‘kay?”

He picked up one that was shaped as his helmet and took a bite, surprised instantly by how good it was. Pleased to see him enjoying it, the girl smiled and slipped back into the sway of the party.

Now it was just him and his mostly drunk friends. He rested an elbow on the table and took another bite out of the cookie. He glanced back at Kotetsu on the couch. He had become so quiet, so he wasn’t surprised at all to find that he’d fallen asleep right there. It was impressive, considering how loud the place had become. He smiled, though.

“Barnaby! Would you like me to give you advice?”

He laughed softly, biting off the ear on his mask-cookie. “Not really. That’s alright.”

“I think you should take care of Kotetsu.”

“ _W-what?_ ” For a second, he forgot how to swallow and choked on some crumbs.

Keith stared down into his cup. When Barnaby took his eyes away from how horribly creepy the elk face on it was, he realized that it was still mostly full.

“Everyone needs someone who will believe in them and watch out for them.”

“I know that,” he said, watching Kotetsu tilt onto Antonio’s shoulder. “It goes both ways.” He went to the party because of him, after all. In the end, he couldn’t say that he hadn’t enjoyed himself. “I just really hope I won’t ever have to see myself in this costume again.”

“What do you mean? It’s cute! And also adorable!”

“And adorable!” Nathan agreed.

Barnaby just wasn’t going to say anything to that.

Kotetsu sleepily kneed him in the back of the neck and suddenly Barnaby decided he wasn’t so cute anymore. He really wanted to see how they’d feel about this when they were back in their right minds.

Fortunately, as the hours drew closer to midnight, the party-goers began losing their energy and started waving good-bye to each other. Barnaby must have missed it, but apparently there was a time Keith specified for when the party would end. Internet people were a different breed after all if they respected someone’s schedule like that.

Except most of them were staggering drunkenly as they left and he could hear a fight on the lawn or something...

As the room emptied out to just a few remaining people, Karina dislodged herself from the couch and stepped carefully over Kotetsu.

“Did you really stay on the couch all night?” he asked, standing up to let her pass. On the other side of the table, Keith was snoring with his cheek pressed into his arms.

She shrugged. “It was alright. I didn’t mind it. If I got up, I knew someone would steal my seat but it was fun to stay here because a lot of people came by to talk.”

“And you got free food delivered to you all night, right?”

He forgot that it sounded rude to say something like that to a lady. She gave an embarrassed huff and looked to the side. “I-It wasn’t because of that!” But he could tell that she agreed that it was a part of it. As she backed away from the couch, she almost stumbled on an empty can. To Barnaby’s surprise, it made her laugh. “Oh, Keith,” she sighed, looking down at his sleeping form.

“We’ll take care of him,” he promised.

Karina ran her hands over the front of her dress to straighten it out. “Take care of that one, too,” she said, pointing at Kotetsu, who rolled over almost completely on top of Antonio.

His friend sighed and put a hand on Kotetsu’s shoulder - at first looking like he would push him away, but instead, ended up patting him sluggishly on the arm. “I’m used to this,” he said. “I wish I didn’t have to be, but I am.”

He watched Karina leave and they told her good night as she went through the door. When they were alone and it was just him and Antonio and Nathan and the sound of their two sleeping friends, Barnaby let himself reflect on what he had learned from this experience.

Keith was embarrassing while drunk.

Keith may not have really been drunk.

This rabbit costume, although unflattering, was very comfortable.

And that was really about it.


	20. Don't Count Your Chickens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt: Ivan finds out that on a certain site everyone's going to win $20 if he dies first.

This sounded incredibly illegal. Or something.

Ivan didn’t know all the facts about the law of the internet or if such a thing really even existed, but he was pretty sure that this counted as some type of death threat or something. If nothing else, it was really disconcerting because he wasn’t even sure what had prompted such a thing to start spreading all over the internet while he had his back turned.

Betting was common among fans of Hero TV, from what he had heard. People put money on who would be making arrests, but lately betting was getting too easy when Tiger and Barnaby were doing so well. As their reputation went up and up, the interest that gamblers had in betting on Hero TV went down. Predictability made things less fun.

The stakes had been going up though, and stakes are interesting. If there’s the chance of someone getting hurt on live television, people will keep their eyes glued to the screen through the whole show. So maybe that was what had caused this type of bet to happen.

Even if he thought he could understand it now... That didn’t mean he had to like it or accept it.

After all, it was his life they were betting on.

It was a relaxing day so far. The criminals must have been taking a break, so Ivan laid himself across his bed with his laptop set in front of him and decided to check out what was new on the internet. He visited all the necessary online stops like usual, like his email and forum inbox before looking at the new topics on his favorite boards.

There was a new Barnaby/Tiger story by HeroLove and now Ivan had to crack a grin. The two knew who she was now, but it seemed that she wasn’t about to give up on writing fanfiction about them, regardless of the potential awkwardness it could create. But she was a ballsy woman, that Agnes. She was also considerably less fat and a bit older than he expected her to be...

He opened her fic in a background tab and browsed over what was going on in the main All Heroes board. There was a new post from Keith that Ivan was going to ignore for now, a post by Karina shamelessly about Blue Rose, and one thread with a subject title that put a terrible feeling in his chest.

_[Survival Strategy! Bet on the first to die]_  
**skyhi5**  
_Like the title says. A bunch of people kept talking about wanting to do this, so I said that I'd make the thread. So welcome to the Survival Strategy post where you can bet on who's going to be the first hero to die. Things have been getting a little quiet recently, but the trouble that's been showing up has been worse than usual when it does. In these dangerous times, the heroes' lives are at stake, which means the time is ripe for us to get betting._  
_Just leave a comment here with how much you're betting on a hero. We're doing this FOR REAL, so don't post something unless you really intend to pay up, alright? Alright._

Ivan didn't know who skyhi5 was, so this was not a good first impression. The mere subject of this made him sick to his stomach, but much worse was the trend that seemed to be occurring within the thread.

There was no one outright arguing with the existence of such a thread and far too many of them... were betting on him. He acknowledged that he wasn't as strong as the others in the ways that they were, but he wasn't totally useless or helpless, so... He really didn't think he'd be the first to...

No way, he didn't even want to think like that. (He felt even more enraged by the concept of someone seriously betting two sterndollars on his life.) What were they _doing?_ Weren't the HeroTV Forums a _fansite?_ Wasn't this for all ages? Where were the mods and why wasn't this post gone yet? It was...

It was already almost a day old.

This called for a call; a real life call to a real person who wasn't crazy like the internet.

He quickly dialed Karina's number and thankfully, she picked up on the third ring.

“Karina,” he said, trying to remain as calm as he could. “Could you take a look at the main board, please?”

_”I'm just getting back home right now. I'm not even at my computer yet, but I will be if you just give me a second... Why, did Keith do something again?”_

“No,” he said, then stopped. “Well, I don't think so. I haven't checked out his post yet... But there's another thread right now, that's like... It's the third thread down right now. Read the subject and you'll know what I'm talking about.”

Ivan waited as patiently as he could while she returned to her computer. He politely tried not to pay attention as she talked to her parents in the background and continued to wait while she started it up.

_”Third down... Oh my god, what is this?”_ She was quiet for a moment as she was reading. _”Wait, what? This can't be allowed. I didn't think betting was allowed on the site.”_

Ivan sighed heavily. “It's not. People do it, but it gets deleted immediately. Is Mary asleep or something?”

_”I don't know. There have to be other mods.”_ He heard some clicking and then the clatter of fingers on keys. _”I'll make a comment now. You should message Mary. I know they don't know who you are, but they shouldn't be allowed to make comments like this about you.”_

“Thanks,” he said with a somewhat relieved sigh. “We'll get it off of here somehow.”

He hung up with her and refreshed a minute later to see her comment.

_**yukionna**  
This kind of post isn't allowed. Please delete this post or I'm going to report you myself._

_**skyhi5**  
lol It's the internet police._

_**icepower**  
She's an Origami fan, whatever. Go back to the fanfic threads if it bothers you._

That didn't seem to have any effect yet. Obviously, this OP wasn't going to remove his thread, no matter how kindly she asked him. He wasn't looking to use Karina as his own personal bodyguard or anything, though. He was still going to message little_lamb about it. Still, he had some morbid fascination in reading what they were saying about him. It was like he was watching a weird internet mob breaking out. As if in response to Karina's opposition of the thread, he found a bunch of new comments upon his next refresh.

All of them saying _ORIGAMI CYCLONE FIRST HERO TO DIE._

It sent a weird, horrible shiver down his spine, like they knew something that he wasn't aware of. Was there a shadow looming over him that was obvious to everyone else or something? Did he have deathflags tagged to his back? He didn't think he was doing that badly...

That was his real concern. He didn't care what they said. It was the overwhelming number of people saying it that really worried him. It was the number of people and the fact that they were being allowed to say it.

He started writing his message.

_[Requesting removal of thread #7334199]_  
**__origamically_**  
_Hey. I haven't talked to you in a little while. How are you?  
I'm messaging you because I'm wondering why the “Survival Strategy” thread hasn't been removed? It's a betting thread (says so right in the subject title even) which is against the forum rules. I'm sure there must have been an oversight or something, so I wanted to bring it to your attention. This betting thread also seems rather morally questionable and I'm sure that other users are also disturbed by it. If you could remove it quickly, it'd be really appreciated._

Now it was time to sit back and wait.

He wanted to do some other things in the meantime or go back to whatever he would normally do, but the thought of the thread remained stubbornly at the front of his mind and it was impossible _not_ to think about it.

Instead, he got up from his computer entirely. Standing up from his chair felt strange, though. That computer chair was a comfortable, safe place. It was supposed to be, at least... When he removed himself from it and stood, he suddenly felt really vulnerable.

He reached for his phone again.

But what would Yuri have to say if he called him... It was still a little early to be asking him for his help with something like this, wasn't it? Asking him over the internet would be easier. That way, he wouldn't have to hear how worried he was about it and he wouldn't start thinking he was odd for getting bent out of shape about it.

Before he sat down, he walked quickly over to his door and shut it, locking it... just in case.

Mary hadn't responded and he didn't see HeroLove online either. Thinking that Yuri might be able to scare them off, he sent him a message next.

_[WHY DO PEOPLE WANT ME DEAD]_  
**__origamically_**  
_This is the weirdest day._  
_Um, can you check out this post? It's freaking me out a little, mkay. Cuz people are betting that I'm going to die and the mods aren't getting rid of it. WTH? Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)_  
_Um... Yeah, so like. Yeah. How are you?_

Miraculously, Yuri answered back, even though Ivan was pretty sure he was at work.

_[re: WHY DO PEOPLE WANT ME DEAD]_  
**_stophavingfun_**  
_YOU'RE THE EASIEST ONE TO BET ON, THAT'S WHY. YOU'RE AN EASY TARGET AND YOU HAVE THE TENDANCY TO THROW YOURSELF IN FRONT OF DANGER._

_[re: WHY DO PEOPLE WANT ME DEAD]_  
**__origamically_**  
_DON'T AGREE WITH THEM. OMG WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡_

_[re: WHY DO PEOPLE WANT ME DEAD]_  
**_stophavingfun_**  
_SORRY, IT WAS TOO EASY. JUST MESSING WITH YOU. STOP WORRYING ABOUT IT. IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'VE GOT A SNIPER SITTING OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW OR SOMETHING. (DON'T GET PARANOID NOW... I CAN FEEL IT.) REMEMBER: THEY DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. IT'S JUST THE INTERNET AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE JUST LOSERS SITTING BEHIND THEIR COMPUTERS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THEIR TIME THAN START RIDICULOUS THREADS._

He was right. He was getting worried for no reason. Right now, he was just Ivan Karelin and he was totally safe that way. That allowed him to breathe a sigh of relief. Who thought that he would feel safer as regular old Ivan?

He swallowed, feeling a lump grown in his throat and felt his heart speed up a little as he thought about what a help Yuri had actually been to him. He was still typing in his caps, so Ivan didn't expect him to sound so concerned about him.

_[re: WHY DO PEOPLE WANT ME DEAD]_  
**__origamically_**  
_...Thanks, SHF. Idk why, but that actually made me feel a lot better. Now feel free to go yell at them in caps if you want._

Before he went back to the thread, Ivan first refreshed his message just in case something was going haywire. There was still no return message from little_lamb, though. He knew there were other moderators but he didn't understand why she wasn't responding. The light next to her name was green, which meant she was online, too... Maybe she was dealing with something else first.

She wouldn't agree to a post like this. He knew what low tolerance she had for anything even mildly offensive and this would have pushed all her buttons.

“Weird,” he muttered to himself. He refreshed the thread and was disappointed to find it still in existence, but smirked when he saw a new raging capslock comment from stophavingfun, angrily saying that they were trying to take over his territory.

Another comment caught his eye for a unique reason. The person seemed to know more than they were willing to say, but what they shared sounded suspicious. Karina's outbursts seemed to have brought in more people who were willing to object to the post and a number of them were asking where the mods were. This person had info. Or they were just pretending to know what was up.

**_Stealth_**  
I've seen some posts lately that should have been deleted that the mods are ignoring. Posts like this obviously shouldn't be here, but I think it has to do with who's really in charge of the site. The off-topic board is a problem but this isn't? See what I mean? Whoever's been making these orders has their priorities screwed up or they're just trying to screw with us. 

_**_origamically**  
Yeah... Who's in charge of the site? I've never stopped to really think about it. I know some of the mods now in person and I know they have connections to the show, so..._

At his next refresh, the post was gone. Before, he wanted to see it gone as soon as it could possibly happen, but now he was starting to get interested in the discussion that was forming. He frowned and felt even more confused when he saw a (1) next to his inbox. As he expected, he found a new message from little_lamb waiting there for him.

_[re: Requesting removal of thread #7334199]_  
**_little_lamb_**  
_I apologize for not being able to get to the thread sooner. It was removed for being in clear violation of the rules. Thank you for reporting it._

Ivan stared at the message for a minute, unable to shake the feeling that this message wasn't from Mary.


End file.
